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The nightmare is finally over!

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  • The nightmare is finally over!

    I haven’t been active on here the past few weeks as quite frankly my head really hasn’t been with it at all with everything that has been going on. I have been reading some of the posts, but haven’t really been able to bring myself to contribute. But I have been waiting to get online tonight so I can share my good news and to say thanks for the support over the past months.

    As some of you may remember my bail hearing was scheduled for yesterday evening at the police station. The week leading up to it has been horrendous as I feared the worse, especially with all the news reporting on other cases and the media witch hunt that seems to go with it.

    I received a call from my solicitor yesterday morning to tell me that the police had been in touch with him to advise him that my bail hearing for that evening was cancelled. They had informed him that instead they would now be lifting my bail and there was no longer any reason for me to come in to the station. They couldn’t tell him more because the detective dealing with the case was unavailable.

    The detective did give me a call this afternoon to brief me on the outcome and to let me know what would happen further. The short of it is that as a result of their investigation they found that there is no evidence to back up the allegations and that no charges will be brought against me and as such the bail will be cancelled and I will not have a criminal record.

    The tone of his conversation was very different than before and he actually had quite a long friendly chat with me, which was surprising. He explained to me that they did a lot of forensic work on the case and that every single thing came back negative against me or backed up my side of the story. It also turns out that CCTV in one of the bars actually provided a whole different story to what she had been telling. The detective also told me that with the investigation they did and the evidence they have to the contrary no prosecutor would ever have brought a case against me. I have asked him for a formal letter to confirm that no charges will be brought as I want to see it in writing.

    I am so relieved that this part of this nightmare is over and that I can now try to start rebuilding my life. I am absolutely shattered and drained mentally and physically. Feelings of anger, relief and downright crying my eyes out have been going through me all afternoon. I don’t know how long it will take me to get over this all, but at least I know I can now look forward.

    It is absolutely disgusting how easy it is for someone to walk into a police station and with no evidence can completely and utterly destroy someone’s family, work and life and get away with it. I have always been very open and sociable, but after this I doubt I will ever be able to trust anyone completely again. I have stopped going out, stopped seeing the majority of my friends because I’m always cautious about how things can be turned round by someone with a hidden agenda and it is a horrible feeling. I have done nothing wrong yet I feel like a criminal who has to watch over his shoulder. Unfortunately false allegations are something the press don’t report on because it isn’t as interesting as discussing alleged sordid details.

    For all the people who are still going through their ordeal and their loved ones who are supporting them: it is hard, it is soul destroying and it will seem hopeless at times. But if you know you are innocent just keep going! There is nothing wrong with feeling bad or wanting to punch the walls or wanting to shout your lungs out, just don’t let it get you down and give up. Just go for a walk, pick yourself up and take each day as it comes, the truth WILL come out one day.

    Once again i would like to say thanks to every body who has contributed to this forum with advice and who is here to lend a listening ear. It may not seem much, but knowing you are not alone is so appreciated and helpful.

  • #2
    Hi Tony,

    Thanks for coming back to update the forum on the outcome; as always this is so helpful to those members waiting for a decision.

    You are quite right about a FA affecting your life, i.e. if you get a NFA letter it will probably say something like that there was insufficient evidence to proceed at this time; the implication being that if someone else makes a similar accusation against you, it might be looked at again.

    Don't worry too much, the percentage of women who make FA's is very low but from member's experiences it seems that one-night stands are best avoided

    Herewith a couple of symbolic bananas
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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    • #3
      very pleased at your outcome but please don't underestimate the time it could take you to heal from this
      "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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      • #4
        Tony

        That is brilliant news! I'm so pleased for you.

        In time you will move on but your outlook will be understandably different.

        Hoping the memories and pain fade quickly

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        • #5
          Excellent news.
          As Casehardened says, dont be disheartened by the wording of the NFA letter...NFA literally does mean that other than in exceptional cases where further allegations are made, the case is closed. It will lie dormant on a file but the conversation the detective had with you sounds very promising in that they have little doubt that it didn't happen. As such, you may be able to push for a No Crime.

          In the meantime, look after yourself. Myhome is very correct that you will experience a rollercoaster of emotions. Ride with it, you will come out on top and well done for getting through it.

          And congratulations...here's to your future and a few narnas for good measure
          "Be sure your sin will find you out"

          Numbers 32:23

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Casehardened View Post

            Don't worry too much, the percentage of women who make FA's is very low but from member's experiences it seems that one-night stands are best avoided
            That is the whole thing, this wasn't a one night stand. This was someone who I had been seeing for a while which is why this completely blind sided me.

            This is also what has been occupying my mind for the past 3 months; why did she make these accusations? I don't know, but I have found out a lot of things about her in the mean time and I have got a very good idea why she made the accusations. I have an appointment with my solicitor next week to discuss this and to see if I can bring a case against her. But right now I'm not sure if this is something I want to do as the feelings are pretty raw.

            Thanks for the dancing bananas

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            • #7
              Great news. Good luck for the future.

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              • #8
                Great news but I am sure like us you have seen a glimpse of hell even though it is over it will take a long time to heal,so look after yourself and all the best for the future. x

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                • #9
                  Fantastic news. Go for a No Crime if you can. Try to move on now.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Cat View Post
                    Fantastic news. Go for a No Crime if you can.
                    I've missed this comment while reading through it. What exactly do you mean with "go for a no crime"?

                    Is this a separate procedure? Is this something my solicitors should ask for?

                    The detective investigating has already mentioned to me that there will be no criminal record against me. Is this what you mean?

                    Things have started to sink in and my mood has lifted tremendously. it certainly is a roller coaster of emotions.

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                    • #11
                      I am no expert and have no intention of misleading you or upsetting you in anyway.

                      My understanding is that NFA means No Further Action will be taken due to there not being enough evidence to take things any further but in the rare chance that someone else was to accuse you of something similar in the future this may be looked at again.

                      NC is No Crime - Meaning no crime has taken place.

                      I think NFA will show on an enhanced DBS should you ever have to have one.

                      I have a bit of a hangup about this as my son is waiting to go to court having been falsely accused last August when he was all set to graduate and had been offered a job which requires an enhanced DBS. Now everything is on hold and even when he gets a Not Guilty in court it will still all be on his DBS and he may not be able to pursue his chosen career.

                      I believe your solicitor or MP can help you with the NC.

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                      • #12
                        What Cat says is accurate, an allegation that is NFA'd and in many cases, even acquitted in court, may still well show up on an enhanced disclosure in what is called the soft information.

                        This is the information deemed by a pen pushing police official something which MAY be considered relevant...and in many cases, they stray from the facts and just give what can be a career damaging opinion; despite the fact you have not been convicted or sometimes even charged with any wrongdoing.

                        If you are NFA'd there is a (relatively small) chance that the police may No Crime you if you speak via your MP or solicitor. Failing that, the other course of action would be to seek the clearance of your CRB...this again should be done through a solicitor and can go as far as a judicial court review. What has to be seen is that the information held on the record is not justified and undermines your human right to a career and a private life.

                        Cat: If you are looking to get a CRB cleared, you should first get a copy of the CRB to see what is said...you can't query or argue it until you know what will be on it. I would advise doing this through a voluntary position which requires a CRB (many charities or care homes etc will require one)

                        If it does come back with incriminating and unfair information (it may not...sometimes they don't) then drop me a private message and I will help you in the right direction of what to do next.
                        "Be sure your sin will find you out"

                        Numbers 32:23

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                        • #13
                          Thanks Faith. We will have to wait until after the trial to see what the outcome is for my son.

                          He had to let the job he had lined up go as he was in process of enhanced DBS check for it when falsely accused and DBS wrote to him to say the police said that he'd been arrested and questioned. He also had to suspend himself from uni so has not yet graduated even tho he has completed the course.

                          We just have to be patient and wait for the court case in 5 months, have faith that the jury will find him not guilty and take it from there.

                          This site has helped me come to terms with it all and kept me sane.

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