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  • #31
    thank you..

    Originally posted by grababadger View Post
    I don't see a problem with writing a statement, as long as you focus on motive and facts (things that can be proven mainly). I would only go into detail regarding things that cannot be manipulated in anyway shape or form. For example, she agreed to have sex with you beforehand (text messages will prove you had both agreed to meet for a sexual encounter), you met at location X, you then went to location X, you had sex at the hotel, you had an argument, she left you to engage with someone else (an escort), you cancelled her flight. ETC ETC.

    If the police don't know your side of the story then how can they remain impartial. They will have no choice but to go along with what she says. As for the issue regarding drugs, that is something you need to discuss with a solicitor ASAP.

    I know people say don't tell the police anything, but me personally I am of the opinion that if you are innocent and your side of events can be evidenced then you really have nothing to lose. Obviously, if you were to tell the police something along the lines of, we both took MDMA together then obviously this would go against you. Stick with the truth and show your regret regarding cancelling her flight, otherwise you may come across as heartless which wont bode well with the authorities.

    I assume you are in UK alone? if you want a chat sometime, pm me your number and i'd be more than happy to have a chat.
    thanks for your support and advice. i cant seem to PM you, tho. or maybe I dont know how to. could you PM me your number so that I can text you? thank you.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by panda View Post
      thanks for your support and advice. i cant seem to PM you, tho. or maybe I dont know how to. could you PM me your number so that I can text you? thank you.
      As a new member it wont allow private messaging. Maybe you could give me your email or number on here, then delete the post as soon as I reply with received.

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by grababadger View Post
        As a new member it wont allow private messaging. Maybe you could give me your email or number on here, then delete the post as soon as I reply with received.

        thanks for the support!
        Last edited by panda; 21 January 2014, 04:53 AM. Reason: remove contact details..

        Comment


        • #34
          Grababadger has given you excellent advice.

          The drugs issue will revolve around whether or not any traces were found in her blood or urine sample; if none then it is only another allegation together with the rape.

          If there is evidence of drug-taking then, unless there is a smoking gun somewhere in the form of a glass containing MDMA residue with both your fingerprints on, then it is a case of she says one thing and you are saying something else, just like and subordinate to, the question of consent for intercourse, and it will come down as to who is more believable. Your photos showed a typical and unremarkable young couple and if you are as articulate as you appear from your writing and are suitably contrite for your later callous treatment of this girl, then I believe you will receive the benefit of any doubt. If she is a regular drug user she may have a police record for possession which would corroborate your version.

          I have looked at the texts/chats in your now-deleted post and will concur that any reasonable person reading these will form the view that she was flying down to meet you with the intention of enjoying a sexual liaison. She may well now suggest that she did not actually intend for full intercourse to happen (and indeed she is quite entitled to withdraw consent at any stage in the proceedings....remember the wide goalposts!) but the intention certainly and provably was present at some stage.

          The hotel CCTV will show her entering voluntarily with you and will show you leaving together on the way to club 2. Hopefully club 2 will also have footage of both of you together.

          The timing and location of her allegation clearly point to her motive for making it.

          My opinion FWIW is that the CPS after reviewing all of the above will kick the case into touch but if you, after consultation with your solicitor, decide to pass these texts/chats onto the police as part of a second interview please keep your own downloaded copy of them somewhere safe.
          'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by grababadger View Post

            If the police don't know your side of the story then how can they remain impartial. They will have no choice but to go along with what she says. As for the issue regarding drugs, that is something you need to discuss with a solicitor ASAP.
            Good advice. One little issue though. The Police can 110% believe the accuser even in light of glaring issues but that is not good enough for a court of law. Evidence is still required. There are stages in an investigation where the investigation in that area is regarded as 'complete' as the information that is available is all that is going to be available and this will be given to a jury for them to decide what's true or false (bit more complex than I've worded it!).

            If the evidential standards aren't met then it'll be thrown out (edit: SHOULD be thrown out). A solicitor will look at what's in front of them and form an opinion on it. They then advise the client of the likelyhood of 'x, y or z'.
            Wow... A signature option!

            Comment


            • #36
              to be rebailed further!!

              Originally posted by Casehardened View Post
              Grababadger has given you excellent advice.

              The drugs issue will revolve around whether or not any traces were found in her blood or urine sample; if none then it is only another allegation together with the rape.

              If there is evidence of drug-taking then, unless there is a smoking gun somewhere in the form of a glass containing MDMA residue with both your fingerprints on, then it is a case of she says one thing and you are saying something else, just like and subordinate to, the question of consent for intercourse, and it will come down as to who is more believable. Your photos showed a typical and unremarkable young couple and if you are as articulate as you appear from your writing and are suitably contrite for your later callous treatment of this girl, then I believe you will receive the benefit of any doubt. If she is a regular drug user she may have a police record for possession which would corroborate your version.

              I have looked at the texts/chats in your now-deleted post and will concur that any reasonable person reading these will form the view that she was flying down to meet you with the intention of enjoying a sexual liaison. She may well now suggest that she did not actually intend for full intercourse to happen (and indeed she is quite entitled to withdraw consent at any stage in the proceedings....remember the wide goalposts!) but the intention certainly and provably was present at some stage.

              The hotel CCTV will show her entering voluntarily with you and will show you leaving together on the way to club 2. Hopefully club 2 will also have footage of both of you together.

              The timing and location of her allegation clearly point to her motive for making it.

              My opinion FWIW is that the CPS after reviewing all of the above will kick the case into touch but if you, after consultation with your solicitor, decide to pass these texts/chats onto the police as part of a second interview please keep your own downloaded copy of them somewhere safe.
              Thanks CH,
              Well. She did take MDMA. That am pretty sure. She also probably took cocaine at the 2nd club. This will prove to some extent that she is a recreational user?

              Of course, sexting, CCTV footage from hotel and clubs, and clean drink (not spiked) are in my favour. But, at the moment, my main concern is the police do not know my story and they do know off a motive for her to be spiteful. They still dont know about the cancelled flight, although am sure they must be wondering why she took a train to Gatwick to report rape!! They also do not know off the altercation and argument we had about her escort-related documents & behaviour & her asking me for money at the 2nd club.

              Also, the detective just confirmed to my Lawyer that I am being rebailed, though I have not been told till when. My original bail was till Feb 5th. Looks like my nightmare is not going to be getting over too soon!

              Comment


              • #37
                prepared statement - yes or no?

                Originally posted by lawlessone2009 View Post
                Good advice. One little issue though. The Police can 110% believe the accuser even in light of glaring issues but that is not good enough for a court of law. Evidence is still required. There are stages in an investigation where the investigation in that area is regarded as 'complete' as the information that is available is all that is going to be available and this will be given to a jury for them to decide what's true or false (bit more complex than I've worded it!).

                If the evidential standards aren't met then it'll be thrown out (edit: SHOULD be thrown out). A solicitor will look at what's in front of them and form an opinion on it. They then advise the client of the likelyhood of 'x, y or z'.
                Yes. This matter off prepared statement is definitely rather confusing. Still to discuss with a solicitor. Hopefully will have a cleared picture, once I do.

                Of course, from the discussion so far, seems like a good idea, as long as its "controlled" and only the most relevant and concrete info is included, without delving too much into detail.

                As for this "evidential standards", all they have now is;
                1. MDMA in her system
                2. Her word that i spiked her without her consent
                3. Proof that we came to my room & had sex
                4. Her word that it was NOT consentual

                Other than this, everything else - sexting, CCTV, club photos, lack of struggle, us visiting a 2nd club together after the alleged rape, our altercation there, her messaging me to come back, me turning her away, her visiting my room later in the afternoon - all after the alleged rape, her telling the manager she had an "altercation" with me, my discovery that she could be an escort, altercation worsening on chat, me cancelling the flight, location and time of report, - are all probably in my favour.

                Considering these points, and what you have mentioned, it does seem like CPS should not press charges.

                Of course, at this stage, the catch is that the police do not know about the cancelled flight, the fact that she maybe an escort, and the altercation about it, and her visit to my room after the alleged rape. They still have not found a motive for her to lie. So, thats why I personally feel a limited prepared statement will definitely help the police put the pieces together, instead of assuming I am the guilty one, and trying to prove it.

                Do let me know your views on my thought. Thanks a lot, again, for all the support.

                Comment


                • #38
                  The evidence that the Police will be looking for.

                  An agreement between both parties that sex took place.

                  Really, that's all they need. One party is saying that it is 'without' consent the other is saying that it is 'with' consent.


                  If you were to have denied having sex then the DNA/medical evidence would come into play.

                  The medical stuff will come into play as they will be looking for signs of being drugged or being intoxicated. The law states that you cannot be held to have consented if you were unable to do so through drink or drugs. I had many friends who were recreational drug users (ones even a cop now!) and they would drink just as much as I did, have their drugs on top of that and 'appear' stone cold sober, play them some music and it was a different story.

                  The cops won't be necessarily looking for anything more than the presence of drugs and then let a jury decide from there.

                  They will be examining all sorts of different possibilities and then looking for any form of evidence to back this up. There needs to be a 'case' presented to the jury, it needs to be well thought out and provide information on which they can form a belief. It needs to have a realistic prospect of leading to a conviction.

                  Any information that you have should be shared only between yourself and your solicitor. You may view a piece of evidence as putting you in the clear but someone else may just find it as the final piece of the puzzle that proves guilt. You don't know what lines of enquiry the Police are taking at the moment so I wouldn't go giving them fresh ones.

                  You are in the middle of a situation which, if charged and convicted, has a lengthly jail sentence attached to it. You need to result to the tactics a chess grandmaster would use, defend defend defend whilst you work out your next move. Last thing you want to be doing is giving away all your defence and finding yourself in checkmate when potentially the other player (Police/CPS) had no reason too. It's called self incrimination, you don't need to do anything and you don't even need to be one little bit guilty.

                  Find a solicitor.

                  Try to calm down. It's easier said than done. Far easier said than done! In fact it's probably impossible. Join a gym and go for regular intensive workouts, burn energy and at least clear/settle the mind a little whilst there. If you don't do something then you may crack under strain, happens to the best of us and very odd times.

                  We can't tell you everything will be just fine and that innocence will win the day. We can read what you post and we can offer assistance on it and our interpretation. Over time remarkably similar things will happen in your case to those that others have experienced, the cops have set ways of doing things, little 'boxes' if you wish to think of it like that. Members can identify these things and advise on their meaning or potential meaning. Nobody can confirm what the future holds, we wish we could but then nobody would be on here as we'd all have been able to identify our false accusers before hand.

                  You're in a pants situation. The overall circumstances surrounding it all are quite complex and strange. Be prepared for repeated bail, it means little but it's most likely to happen. In the meantime write all your thoughts down either on paper or on a word document, probs best on word as you can go back to add/edit. Get a solicitor even though they'll not be able to do much just now it's still good to have one to call if need be.

                  Most members don't mind giving their opinions or sharing their knowledge. When seeking information please bear in mind the manner in which you put it across. I don't need to know about condoms and mouths and things for instance. The presence of a condom could be useful information but I don't need to know much about it or the setting in which it was used. I understand that you are needing answers but you're giving the answers and then asking the question as if you merely want the answer confirmed. Logical conclusions are not what the Police/CPS work with, they make the most astronomically illogical conclusions and then act on them.


                  Solicitor and Gym (or jogging round the block!).
                  Wow... A signature option!

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by panda View Post
                    I have been falslely accused off rape, and after around 18 hour in custody, and all the procedural stuff, i was bailed out to a friends house, since I am only a tourist visiting UK.

                    I am going through hell, at the moment.

                    I had been in contact with this girl from Aberdeen, who I met online. We became facebook friends, and spoke a lot on whatsapp. We also spoke a lot of sexual stuff, and she even indirectly agreed to sex. She also did sent me a nude photo of herself, with her face showing clearly.

                    After couple of weeks of chatting, she agreed to fly down to London, for just 1 night, and "go wild" (in her own words), if I booked her flight tickets, which I did.
                    When she got here, I picked her from the airport, and she moved into my room. She changed, we had couple of drinks, and she took some MDMA before we left to a club. Things were definitely very flirty, and she even removed her panties and stockings for me, at the club, since this was a previously discussed kink. She even let me finger her, and fool around a bit, at the club.

                    When the club shut at 3, we wanted to head to an afterparty club, which opened at 3.30, but since the afterparty club doesnt pick up till after 4, we came to my room, had CONSENTUAL sex, and then, went to the 2nd club. During sex, she is the one who opened the condom, and put it on, with her mouth (in her statement, she seems to claim she dint blow me.). After putting on the condom, she gave me a blowjob for a while, and then, turned around onto her stomach, and we had penetrative sex, me entering from behind.. We finished up quick and left to the after party club.

                    At the second club, we had an altercation about another girl (who seemed shady, and mostly a hooker) who she had befriended, and I believe she even took some cocaine with her. I got fed up off her drama there, and I left back to my room, at about 5.30, and did not pick her calls after. We exchanged several messages, some off them not very pleasant.

                    At about 6.30, when the club shut, she sent me a message saying, "i am coming to your hotel. i am walking becuse I have no money. What is your address?". I refused to entertain her. While I was back, I also saw some documents which seemed to show that she was a hooker, or wanting to become a hooker, and thats the reason she was so friendly with the other girl, who, in all probability was a hooker. She then left the club with another guy, who was probably hooked up with her, by the other girl. Before I fell asleep, she sent me another text at about 7 saying "I am going to stay with family at old street. see you tomorrow.". This was again probably a lie, and she was probably with some other guy. I am not sure.

                    Then, at around 12, she came to my room, and I dint open it because I was sleeping. She went to the hotel manager (who she told that she had an altercation with me. and that she needed to collect her bag to catch her flight.) and came along with him, to wake me up and take back her luggage. She was very cold and rude when she came.

                    After she left with her luggage, I felt really bad and felt used at her behaviour, and went ahead and cancelled her flight. When she was turned away from her flight, she went to gatwick police station, and alleged rape against me, and she says I drugged her, and raped her, altho she kept saying no! she says she was not in her sense when we were at the first club, and when we came to my room for sex, and she fought with me, at the 2nd club because she came to her senses by then. She was broke and barely had 10quid on her (which she had told me herself. this is why I took the train to gatwick to bring her down.), which means she was probably stranded at the airport with nowhere to go and no money. Reason to be pissed, YES! Reason to cry rape, NO! I still cant believe she could stoop so low, as to cry rape, over this.

                    I am out on bail and am scheduled to present myself on Feb 5th. This has been very traumatic for me, and unbelievably stressful.

                    I have done no wrong, but I dont know how to prove all this. Forensics should be able to disprove her story partly (they found her glass, and wouldnt find any drugs in it), and CCTV footage from club and hotel should prove that she was normal and not 'drugged" beyond her senses. Also, she put on the condom herself, so forensics should be able to find her finger prints on it. Then there is the sexting and nude pic she sent me, and the fact that she flew down to london EXCLUSIVELY to spend 1 night with me, to "go wild" and "do crazy things"! Altho I am into rough sex & bdsm occassionaly (again discussed on whtsapp with her), fortunately we had just vanilla/tender sex, since thats what she wanted, it being the first time. So, no marks or anything off that sort stuff on her. (Forensics even confiscated many of my sex/bondage toys, but none of them were used on her. She probably dint even know they were there.). Also, she has most probably taken cocaine too, at the 2nd club, so will that go to prove that she is a recreational user of drugs, and that the MDMA she took was probably on her own, and not spiked by me, as she claims.


                    1. Based on these facts, can anyone experienced with such cases, tell me what are the chances that CPS will press charges?

                    2. And if charges are pressed, will these above points, help me in court?

                    3. If charges are pressed, will I still be out on bail, or do I get remanded to custody?

                    4. Also, I dont think she is crazy enough to proceed with this case, since she probably did it to get even, in a fit of rage. So, when do the investigating officers decided whether to press charges, and when do they ask her if she wishes to proceed?

                    5. Since it involved drugs AND rape, my duty solicitor advised me to go with a "no comments" interview, and thats all I did. Should I stick to this, or give a prepared statement before the due date of 5th Feb?

                    6. In your opinion, who are some good lawyers who I could discuss my case with? The ones who have experience in such cases?

                    Any advice will be appreciated.

                    Regards,
                    The Real Victim!


                    Thankfully my ordeal (with the law) lasted a total of 17 weeks last year although the stigma of a false allegation is still very much with me.

                    I'll sum up what happened.

                    A colleague who I'd only know for a few months invited me round to hers for a drink. We had a very nice evening - she poured all the drinks (this is important - I wasn't trying to get her drunk). Before anything physical happened between us I said I needed to leave as I had to get up early the following day for work. She wanted me to stay so I did. We were both quite drunk by this stage. One thing led to another and after some kissing etc... she gave me a quick BJ. I returned the favour and she told me to put on a condom. I asked if she was sure and she said 'Yes'. I feel that she initiated sex and I consented. We had sex briefly and as it was late she let me stay the night on her sofa. The following morning she sent me a text saying that she had a good night. Thankfully I don't delete my texts.
                    I worked with her for a full week after this and we were very affectionate towards each other each day. I made a reference to us having sex and she said that she couldn't remember it. I just thought that she felt embarrassed and didn't want to talk about it.

                    A couple of days later I was arrested and put in a cell for a few hours before my interview. I remembered something my dad said which was 'if you're innocent you've got nothing to hide'. I declined a solicitor and answered all the questions put to me. I was so angry but kept a level head during the 2 hours I was questioned and mentioned her saying that she couldn't remember what happened. I handed my phone over to the police as I felt the texts we exchanged would strengthen my case. I was bailed for 7 weeks.

                    Because she was a colleague I was suspended during this time which added to my stress. I spent 2 days thinking about every detail no matter how small and typed up a 9 page statement before contacting a solicitor as I didn't want to seem unsure of anything. I was expecting a hefty bill but was told that rape cases automatically qualify for legal aid when I met up with my solicitor. I'm not sure if foreigners qualify.

                    Before you pay out for a good solicitor consider this. They will not do anything to help you until you are charged. If fact the longer you're in limbo the better for them. They get paid one way or the other all the time you're on bail. I returned 7 weeks later and was bailed again for another 3 months. The police needed to analyse my mobile phone and there was a massive delay. During the time I was on bail I had no idea what 'she' had told the police. I got the call from the case officer 17 weeks after my arrest to say that they weren't taking the case to the CPS. I asked what 'she' had claimed and was told that she said that she couldn't remember what happened. I was so happy I was exonerated but also so angry that my life had been torn apart. The main delay was waiting for my phone evidence but as the case officer said anything to strengthen my case was so important. If it had gone further then undoubtedly I would be named in the local press as a rape suspect (interestingly 'she' has anonymity regardless).

                    Now you've read my account I'll address your points.

                    1. As someone else said the CPS will only act they feel there is a better that 50% chance of securing a conviction. You don't know that this girl has told the police and since you gave a 'no comment' statement that is all the police have to go on. I personally think that 'no comment' suggests you have something to hide so I suggest as someone else said to hand your phone over to the police for examination. You will be without it for some time but it may be a small price to pay. I would also print out and hand over any facebook etc.. communication between the two of you. I don't want to alarm you but this may be the difference between freedom and a few years in prison. Rape starts at 5 years.

                    2. If the case does go to court then tell your solicitor everything and it will be up to them as to what facts are relevant. That's what they're paid for.

                    3. 'One thing at a time' was a phrase that really pissed me off during my bail but it's so true. If it does go further then it will be up to the CPS to decide if you pose a threat and are a danger to the public.

                    4. This girl can decide that 'maybe she got it wrong' and can retract her statement but this is extremely unlikely. She will have told friends and family that she was raped and will lose a lot of face in doing so. Also she risks prosecution herself for wasting police time. I doubt that she has the faintest idea of the destruction that a false claim can have on you. Far more than you cancelling her flight although I'm not going to get into that.

                    5. As I said in point 1 I think you should be open with the police. You don't need to tell them everything but I would answer every question they put to you honestly. Do NOT lose your temper.

                    6. I can't advise good solicitors but I chose mine through a Google search of local ones and based my choice on their websites. As I was fortunate enough that my case didn't go further I didn't have much dealings with them.



                    Good luck.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Some very interesting points made by 'freebythesea'.

                      What you need to bear in mind is that the police have a duty to act under the 'Criminal Procedure and Investigations Act 1996', which states that they must remain impartial whilst investigating any crime. How can they do that if they are not armed with your side of the story. I agree that you should not tell them everything, especially things which may inadvertently incriminate you.

                      Their job is to investigate and present the evidence, but let's not forget that includes your evidence. The police will not be able to ascertain whether you had raped her as a matter of fact, therefore the only things that can be presented is circumstantial evidence. The more that evidence corroborates your side of events, the more likely they are to cast doubt on the truth of the accusers side of events. Especially if there are many discrepancies on her side, even more so if those discrepancies can be presented in the form of evidence.

                      So far it appears your 'evidence' is: Text messages, CCTV footage, flights booked and cancelled and maybe fingerprints on the condom packet. You have a witness in the form of the hotel worker who will hopefully vouch that she said their was an altercation, but no mention or rape at this stage? CCTV footage of her trying to check onto the flight.

                      Your story framework of events should concentrate on the main points.

                      She flew down for an encounter (both parties agreed), you went to the hotel to change, you went to a club, you then went to the hotel for sex, you then went to a second club where she took more drugs and had liaisons with what you thought was some form of escort pimp, she asked you for money as she had slept with you, she perhaps assumed you would pay her? you were upset and left. The reasons for you cancelling her flight was in some ways a reaction to being hurt/used.

                      Your biggest problem is the police finding drugs in your room, I really cant think of a justifiable reason for this-hence you need to consult a solicitor on this sticky matter. One thing I would not do is lie about how you got the drugs etc as if you lie about this, then it may cast doubt on the rest of your 'truthful' story.

                      As for bail, remember you have not been charged and you are still assumed innocent. Please whatever you do, stay away from drugs and do not meet up with strange women off the internet.

                      My gut feeling is that this wont go anywhere, but equally you have to flight like a gladiator-even if your enemy is a feeble 2 legged rat.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        I am rendered speechless(almost) at the wealth of excellent advice given by L1, freebythesea, and grababadger.

                        L1 is already 'senior' and hopefully FbtS & GaB will continue to full membership of the forum.

                        FbtS, many thanks for detailing your experience, it is helpful for members presently going through the process to know there can be light at the end of the tunnel.
                        'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          thanks..

                          Originally posted by Casehardened View Post
                          I am rendered speechless(almost) at the wealth of excellent advice given by L1, freebythesea, and grababadger.

                          L1 is already 'senior' and hopefully FbtS & GaB will continue to full membership of the forum.

                          FbtS, many thanks for detailing your experience, it is helpful for members presently going through the process to know there can be light at the end of the tunnel.

                          I second that!

                          These elaborate opinions voiced by all of you, are off immense help. For the simple reason, that if these cases goto court, what actually matters is how it looks in the eyes of 12 laymen, from different walks off life!

                          I will be replying to the previous 3 posts, after a sitting with my Solicitor. Infact, am planning to take opinions from 2 different lawyers, before deciding on this.
                          Once again, thanks to all off you, for having put in the effort to voice your thoughts, advise & opinions. Will definitely keep you updated on how things go.

                          Regards and have a good day.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by panda View Post
                            I second that!

                            These elaborate opinions voiced by all of you, are off immense help. For the simple reason, that if these cases goto court, what actually matters is how it looks in the eyes of 12 laymen, from different walks off life!

                            I will be replying to the previous 3 posts, after a sitting with my Solicitor. Infact, am planning to take opinions from 2 different lawyers, before deciding on this.
                            Once again, thanks to all off you, for having put in the effort to voice your thoughts, advise & opinions. Will definitely keep you updated on how things go.

                            Regards and have a good day.
                            Don't feel compelled to answer posts. They are merely for guidance. We can all understand the various stages from the brutal arrest and interview, through the long protracted 'waiting' period and right up to the court door.

                            It is very easy to instantaneously get carried away and burn yourself out. Crack under the pressure and see the complete negativity and futility of the situation. The thoughts then begin to wonder.

                            Time is a marvelous thing. It may at present seem cruel and controlling but in a few weeks things will begin to settle. Your thoughts and analysis of every detail that you know you know about will have been concluded. At that time you will begin to read and realise things and then begin to really build your defence. This will all be blown into the wind when the statements against you turn up and the conclusions in your mind are sent into turmoil as the details don't match what you already know to have happened and have prepared a defence for. You may find, again, that you are overwhelmed and facing an impossible battle but hopefully at that point things will be easier to analyse and provide answers for.

                            This allegation is going to take over your life. We can all, in hindsight, advise that you see a doctor or, as I mentioned, go to a gym but we all individually faced our allegations hiding the extreme pressures that we were under. We could happily state on here that the information was great and that we were going to follow it to a 't' but we still did whatever we did and even at times questioned if this place was any use at all.

                            It is only when you come out the other side that you will realise just what a life saver this place is. The sharing of knowledge and experience thwarts doubts, brings you 'up to speed' far quicker, allows you to test theories without being burned, enables you to build a logical answer to the most pressing questions and does all of that whilst as near as possible holding your hand and comforting you.

                            When it's all over you will be either at the point or long past the point of mental breakdown. You will maybe even cry, hell I did a lot of that (makes me cry remembering crying). You will be over sensitive to everything of a sexual nature, even people in company talking will make you want to shout at them when they say something that is plain wrong, you'll keep quiet though for fear of showing 'signs' of knowledge which would make them question you.

                            You may also find that you are unable to cope with the 'come down', you'll not understand how it can all be all over. You'll have lived for many months with the false accusation burning itself into your soul, running through your mind and permanently implanting itself in your body. You'll begin to wish that there was some truth in it all because at least then it would justify everything that has happened, your mind will try to help you but it just is not possible. You'll look for the false allegation like an alcoholic or drug user looks for their fix and when you realise that you are never going to have it again you will feel empty. It takes your life as you know it and changes it forever.

                            The lowest place where some end up is jail. I've never experienced it but can almost imagine languishing in a prison somewhere being completely innocent, I came very close others are actually living it! You need to do your best to avoid this. The jail in itself doesn't appear to be as bad as people envisage, I regularly visit a friend in prison and he doesn't find it too bad at all, it's the defeat in your mind. The fact that even innocence didn't prevent it. My friend is guilty, accepts his guilt and is looking forward to his release. Being in there as an 'innocent' is nowhere near as easy.

                            I wish you good luck with finding a solicitor. Consider the gym. I visited the doctor in my darkest moments and have to say that the 'pills' did what I needed doing but I wouldn't encourage them unless you see no other options.
                            Wow... A signature option!

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                            • #44
                              Hi Panda.

                              If I were you I would give a written statement to the police to avoid future surprises.
                              In case you decide to go for an interview,it will be recorded on tape and they will probably try to change a few words in the disclosure to make you look worse.
                              Just make sure your solicitor read it previously and agree with everything.
                              Keep a copy for yourself.
                              Non,je ne regrette rien.

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                              • #45
                                Originally posted by Boys don't cry View Post
                                Hi Panda.

                                If I were you I would give a written statement to the police to avoid future surprises.
                                In case you decide to go for an interview,it will be recorded on tape and they will probably try to change a few words in the disclosure to make you look worse.
                                Just make sure your solicitor read it previously and agree with everything.
                                Keep a copy for yourself.
                                Yeah, that'd be the easiest route. Follow the advice of the solicitor before handing it over/having the solicitor submit it on your behalf.

                                Copying and pasting what you've already posted would make things easier. Add and subtract as you see fit.
                                Wow... A signature option!

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