Its taking over my life

[I_AM_INNOCENT]

I am at my wits end !!!

My son had sex with someone he knew and was in love with, when she realised he had confided in someone else she told her boyfriend and then cried rape the next day.

It took 2 weeks for the police to arrest my son even thought we live in the same street practically straight opposite to her.

He was released 2 hours later on unconditional bail so he has come home, if we see her at all we have to cross over the road, go back into the house or put our heads down.

They have confiscated his phone this they have said is what will prove he is not a predator and not the person she claims him to be.

It has been 1 week since the arrest and it has completely taken over our lives, as a mother I cant sleep, eat and feel helpless. My son who is only 18 is like a zombie he cant beleive that she could even try to make him out to be a person like this .............. how do we or what can we do to get through this??

Thank you for taking the time to read this x

[0990]

welcome to the site , sorry you and your son find yourself in In this position,

The whole process is quite long unfortunately , im assuming you son hasn’t been charged yet , so the police are gathering information whilst he is on bail, interviewing both parties the police are looking to pass all this information onto the cps for them to see what if any action will be taken ,

His mobile phone being kept is normal ,if he hasn’t got a solicitor I would recommended he does , someone who has experience with false allegations .this site is a great place to get support .. I’m sure other people will offer any help you need …

[frightened spouse]

Hi

Sorry to hear you son's story, it is unfortunately very common on this site. The first month is very hard as you will still be in a state of shock. Don't be afraid to visit your GP if it is all getting too much,they have more than likely heard of people being falsely accused before, many on this site have found their doctors to very supportive.

It may sound awful but it is best to try and prepare yourself to wait months until a decision is reached. The average seems to be 4 to 5 months. I remember the early weeks thinking it would be over any day, I wish I had found this site earlier so I was better informed what to expect.

As this is still relatively recent it may be worth while your son writing down all the details he can remember of the alleged incident and also any contact he had with her afterwards. If it is needed in months to come , he will be glad he did so whilst the events are still fresh in his mind. Hopefully he won't be charged but it is also worth researching solicitors as 0990 says only those who specialise in defending false allegations will do. If you post up your county someone may be able to give you a recommendation.

The waiting is really terrible but you can make preparations for your son's defence in the event they are needed, however I really hope the case will be NFA'd in the near future.

Take Care

FS

[earthmother]

I am very sorry that you are in this situation, it sounds very similar to my son's situation. It is a heartbreaking position for a parent to be in.

What I was wondering is why this seems to be such a common scenario, there seem to be several mums on this forum in the same boat. What is going wrong with our society that makes it seem OK to cry rape and ruin someones life rather than face up to any personal feeling of guilt or shame after an unsatifactory laison?

I hope things start to resolve for you sooner rather than later. x

[smokiejo]

Hi we are in a similar situation to you my 17 year old son is on bail as his 16 year old girlfriend of 10 months accused him the fist week I could not eat slerp was always crying we are now neatly 4 weeks in to this he has to go back on bonfire night for his bail which we are praying for nfa seems so Many girls are making these false statements it's shocking we have now had a visit from social services as we have younger children this was terrible as they question me and hubby and wanted to look at the kids rooms which was not a problem and now social services have now closed there part and said kids are not at risk from there brother! Taking the phone is normal they took our sons I'm here if you want to talk good we can all help each other. As the days go on you will find a way to cope at first I could not go out as I was always crying but as each day passes you get stronger not sure how I will be as it gets nearer to the bail hearing xxx