The Girl I Love Has Accused Me Of Rape And I Did Not Do It

[heartbroken123]

Hi right now im going through the worst time of my life and i feel so alone with all of this so any help anyone could give me would be greatly appreciated.

Well I am still fairly confused as to how all of this came about you see me and my recent girlfriend have had a wonderful relationship, it was very loving and caring and whenever we were together we never had an argument or a row and we always got along really really well. she has been having to resit her exams at uni for the past two week during which time she has been living with me at my parents house as it is closer to her university she had an exam due on Tuesday and she got up for it like any other day, she gave me a kiss and told me she loves me and then said that she would be back at around 16:00 but she never came back so i got worried about her and tried to contact her but her phone was switched off.

i was very worried about her as it had gotten to around midnight and i went downstairs to try and call her parents but i noticed out of the window that the police had just pulled up and started coming towards my front door i was petrified that something bad had happened to her so i rushed out to talk to them they told me to go back inside and the my girlfriend had mad allegations that i had raped her on the sunday night previous despite the fact that she stayed with me for two more nights being completely normal she was cuddling me we watched some films together and she even instigated sex on both the sunday night and the monday night then leaves on the tuesday and out of the blue this.... i have never felt so sick in all of my life i was confused and in a whirlwind of emotions just trying to understand what was going on and why the person closest to me in the world would do this to me.

i have done nothing wrong and the police keep telling me that im innocent until proven guilty but its not them getting dragged from their home in the early hours of the morning and having the possessions seized, being locked up for the best part of 20 hours and having to deal with the loss of a hugely meaningful relationship in one fell sweep, hell i dont feel innocent after that treatment and its made it very hard for me to believe anyone is going to believe me if she can get all that done to me just based on a complete lie then what chance do i stand in open court?

im not fit to go to prison but my solicitor advised me to complete a no comment interview at the police station. that does not make me confident about the outcome of this whole ordeal but then again i am no solicitor... i really cant go to prison and im begining to have thought of the only alternative i have which would be to take my own life... i dont want to do this and right now im putting these thoughts down to the shock of this happening and the fear of beeing sentenced for something i havent done and the pain im feeling from loosing my girlfriend and the fact that she has betrayed me for no reason i can see...

i think i just need advice on what i should do from here and if anyone has any idea of how i can keep strong during this time as i dont feel im going to be able to cope for much longer

thanks for you help in advance

[dexterblue]

Girlfriend accuses

Whilst nobody can imagine what you personally are feeling at the moment, there are alot of people on here who have had the same or similar thing happen to them. In my case it was my son, but not his girlfriend but another family member. He was just in a state of shock, he couldnt eat, somedays was like a zombie, in fact he was a complete wreck and we all feared he was on the brink of harming himself. He too was advised to give a no comment interview which he did. He was bailed, rebailed and now the CPS have said there is no charges to be brought, so hold onto that fact He too felt he was guilty but couldnt understand why when he knew he had done nothing wrong. He described it as if he had a big sign over his head saying he was a rapist when nobody else who knew him was aware of what was going on. Hold onto the fact that you are innocent, you know it, she knows it, and the truth will come out in the end.

[frightened spouse]

Hi Heartbroken

Sorry to see another new member but welcome to the forum .

Have you read the post below by Case hardened it may give you some of the answers you're looking for.


http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

You are undoubtedly still in shock as this is such a recent event, I hope you have the support of your parents, were they in the house when the "alleged rape" happened ? many members are at a loss as to why they are falsely accused it can come totally out of the blue. Please don't think about ending things, suicide is never the answer, think of the impact it would have on your loved ones. If you feel you need to see the GP don't hesitate many of us have found them to be very sympathetic and helpful especially in getting through the first weeks until you feel strong enough to begin the fight back.

I'm sure other more experienced members will be along soon to give excellent advice .

Best wishes

FS

[heartbroken123]

thanks for sharing that with me his experience seems to be very similar to mine and just having read that made me realize that iv forgotten to eat for the past 3 days.... but just to know that someone else has ad a similar situation to mine and the truth managed to come out is very comforting.

again thank you

[heartbroken123]

hi frightened spouse

i am finding that information you sent me the link to very useful and would like to thank you for taking the time to help me. to answer your question yes my parents where in the house and so where my elder brother and his fiance.

[ROAR]

have faith

Hello,
this is bad what has happened to you, believe me, that girl who did this to you, her sin will find her out, hold on and fight, roar in court, let tem hear you, it was bad advice going no comment in interview, but don't lose sleep over it, make sure you find a rape specialist solicitor..

Hi right now im going through the worst time of my life and i feel so alone with all of this so any help anyone could give me would be greatly appreciated.

Well I am still fairly confused as to how all of this came about you see me and my recent girlfriend have had a wonderful relationship, it was very loving and caring and whenever we were together we never had an argument or a row and we always got along really really well. she has been having to resit her exams at uni for the past two week during which time she has been living with me at my parents house as it is closer to her university she had an exam due on Tuesday and she got up for it like any other day, she gave me a kiss and told me she loves me and then said that she would be back at around 16:00 but she never came back so i got worried about her and tried to contact her but her phone was switched off.

i was very worried about her as it had gotten to around midnight and i went downstairs to try and call her parents but i noticed out of the window that the police had just pulled up and started coming towards my front door i was petrified that something bad had happened to her so i rushed out to talk to them they told me to go back inside and the my girlfriend had mad allegations that i had raped her on the sunday night previous despite the fact that she stayed with me for two more nights being completely normal she was cuddling me we watched some films together and she even instigated sex on both the sunday night and the monday night then leaves on the tuesday and out of the blue this.... i have never felt so sick in all of my life i was confused and in a whirlwind of emotions just trying to understand what was going on and why the person closest to me in the world would do this to me.

i have done nothing wrong and the police keep telling me that im innocent until proven guilty but its not them getting dragged from their home in the early hours of the morning and having the possessions seized, being locked up for the best part of 20 hours and having to deal with the loss of a hugely meaningful relationship in one fell sweep, hell i dont feel innocent after that treatment and its made it very hard for me to believe anyone is going to believe me if she can get all that done to me just based on a complete lie then what chance do i stand in open court?

im not fit to go to prison but my solicitor advised me to complete a no comment interview at the police station. that does not make me confident about the outcome of this whole ordeal but then again i am no solicitor... i really cant go to prison and im begining to have thought of the only alternative i have which would be to take my own life... i dont want to do this and right now im putting these thoughts down to the shock of this happening and the fear of beeing sentenced for something i havent done and the pain im feeling from loosing my girlfriend and the fact that she has betrayed me for no reason i can see...

i think i just need advice on what i should do from here and if anyone has any idea of how i can keep strong during this time as i dont feel im going to be able to cope for much longer

thanks for you help in advance

[myhome]

Hi heartbroken123 and welcome to the forum....though so sorry to read your awful story.....

First of all - SUIICDE IS A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO A TEMPORARY HORRIBLE SITUATION - in other words it is not an option - though if you read other threads you will find that many many of us have considered it.

I would strongly advise you seek help and support from your GP - most of us have found them to be genuinely concerned and very supportive indeed.

You are at the beginning of what can be (but not always) a long and deeply upsetting and traumatic journey from hell and beyond. The range of emotions you will probably experience is unbelievable but a grain of comfort is that we have all experienced them too...

Don't say anything to the police without your sol present. Plod are not your friends and apparently they seem to have no interest in finding out who's innocent - only in achieving conviction targets... This does NOT mean you are going to get convicted. It DOES mean that any evidence you have which will help your defence you keep to yourself and your solicitor. If you give it to plod now they will go back to your GF and she will change her story to fit!! A "no comment" interview doesn't necessarily influence what happens afterwards...

Keep strong - eat a little when you can (impossible when you feel sick all the time so try using Complan - it gives all the nutrition you need at each mealtime - it tastes nice too - it was my saviour for many months). keep posting and we'll help you all we can......MH

[breakmyheart]

never give up

thanks for sharing that with me his experience seems to be very similar to mine and just having read that made me realize that iv forgotten to eat for the past 3 days.... but just to know that someone else has ad a similar situation to mine and the truth managed to come out is very comforting.

again thank you

Hi heartbroken, such a shame you have become another casualty of the fa world. I have been through the hell as many others on this forum and they too will come along in time to help and support you.

The stickies are indeed a great help with a wealth of information to guide you, and many can pass opinion as and when you feel the need to find out things.

It is very courageous that you have plucked up courage to talk about your situation and we have all been through the awful emotions that you are unfortunately experiencing.

It is almost typical practise that your p.c and phone are confiscated (they are looking for anything that they might be able to use in connection to a crime)

The police always carry out dna and fingerprints so rest assured you are not alone.

I truly understand that you feel like your world has come to an end and your options so limited , especially when you are devastated losing your girlfriend and the love that you have for her . Relationships are particularly difficult when no reason has been given over this and certainly no oppertunity for you to contact her , and im sure your bail stipulates that.
Have you got the full support from your parents ? So much help here will help you through this ordeal and please try to block out those terrible thoughts of ending it all. Pop along to your g.p and he will help you and if you need a member to talk to , including myself some will send you there details by personal message for you to use when need be.

Best wishes b.m.h

[can it get worse]

Hi BH123,

What a so sad story & experience you are going through. It is saddening every day as so many more people keep coming on here with their own situations. It may not be of much help to you currently but there is always one common denominator & that is we are all suffering with the same horrendous feelings/emotions.

The advice of MyHome is spot on. Taking your life is definitely not an option. You will have days where you feel worse than others & you have no option but to get through it. Very difficult - we have all been there & many, many of us still are.

As a human being, we have an instinct that we have to be in control. In situations like this, it has been removed from us. So consequently we feel even worse.


You will receive lots of support and advice from this forum. Please keep posting - we are here for you - we need each other.

Best Wishes to you and your family. There are there for you aswell to try to help you along this difficult and unpleasant road.

[heartbroken123]

thank you everyone for you reassuring words the fact that you have took the time to reply to this thread and i know that people out there have or are experiencing what i am going through right now give me hope for myself. you are all also right that i shouldn't take my own life.... i know its a terrible thing to be thinking and even though im in a tough situation i know it would be a selfish act that would affect my family more than it would myself but i cant seem to shake the thoughts.. just gonna do my best to try and stay positive, i am innocent and i hope the truth will out and everyone will know that she lied

[is there justice?]

Hi Heartbroken

Sorry to see another new face here - so many people going through hell!

My Home is spot on as always. Keep everything for your solicitor. Any texts, letters, emails, cards, fb etc make copies and keep for Sol. Get a trusted friend to track her FB and take screenshots of anything.. Is she happily going out? Is she with anyone else?

The legal advice of a no comment interview is so that plod do not have a chance to go back and advise her that dates, times, places etc were wrong. Even if you have a real gem to disprove her lies, you have to hold your fire until it counts.

Your emotions are pure and simply through shock. If you had burgled a house you may be expecting plod to drop by. With this, you had no inkling what was coming as you haven't done anything wrong. It's like being hit by a train. The worst lasts for about 4 weeks and while it's never easy, it does get easier.
The people on this forum are generous and supportive with help and advice or just a cyber ear so come back often.

It sounds like you were really close to your g/f - forget those feelings. This is a time to be selfish and protect yourself. If it makes her look bad, then it does.

There is no easy way out although many consider a quick exit initially - NOT an option. You will get through this and justice prevails more often than not in the Courts although there are no guarantees. What is unjust, is the hellish process that we all go through.

Take care of yourself