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  • Can someone help? I need advice.

    I received a phone call the other day from a policeman saying there was an allegation of rape against me from 2002. I was gobsmacked and felt sick. I was bringing a group of kids back from a week long expedition that they had been planning for six months. I have two groups for young people which are quite successful and I have nearly always worked in the public sector, with young people or vulnerable adults.
    The policeman asked me to attend an interview under caution on Friday just gone where I was questioned about the alleged event. The person who has made the allegation is the daughter of a girlfriend from around that time. She claims it all took place on a night when she babysat my children so I could work in the night. I am at a lost, I told my wife and two close friends who were with me when we got home from our trip. I have not eaten in four days, my sleep is disrupted and I can manage my day. I will have to cancel activities for a week and then get someone in to cover for me, I am frightened that the police may turn up at any point, I feel constantly sick and don't know where to turn. Bless her, my wife is my rock and I have her support but I and sooooo scared. I cannot understand why after eleven years an allegation like this has appeared. If the so called incident took place then why not report it earlier? Why not make a fuss, tell her mum, a million questions for which I have no answer. The policeman told me after the interview that it would be followed up and they would probably interview her again on video. He then went on to say that if there was insufficient evidence the NFA would be taken. I feel my world crumbling around me for something I have not done. I keep telling myself there is no evidence to support this allegation as it did not take place, I keep telling myself I am innocent but I keep breaking down. It is a living hell at the moment and this is only the first few days. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks in advance.

  • #2
    Did you have a solicitor with you at the interview?
    "Be sure your sin will find you out"

    Numbers 32:23

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Faith View Post
      Did you have a solicitor with you at the interview?
      Hi. No I did not.

      Comment


      • #4
        Time to get legal representation ASAP, do a search on this site for your area, hopefully give you a clue to whom may be best near you.
        But for now, stay strong and make as many notes of that day/time that you can remember.
        Still here

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi scaredbutsupported sorry to hear the chain of events that lead to you visiting this forum.

          I am a newbie too so I'll leave the legal and police procedural advice to other's more experienced and knowledgeable than I , but you are in the right place. It is excellent to hear your wife is giving you her full support and that you also have friends to call, but don't put off visiting a doctor if you feel you need to.

          You are understandably in shock which probably won't wear off for some weeks. Though you probably don't believe it you will feel stronger in time. Try to eat small amounts regularly even though you don't feel hungry it does help you feel a bit better.

          There is little that can be said to comfort you, but as has been said already get a solicitor preferably one that specialises in this area, if I could change one thing about how my husband and I have handled our FA to date it would be to get a specialist solicitor in from the beginning.

          Take care
          The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself.

          St Augustine

          Comment


          • #6
            Hello,

            It is so shocking & awful to hear of yet another person going thru this experience. I'm pretty new here as well & many of us here are in similar predicaments. As previously advised, please call a solicitor who is experienced in historic cases. It seems that the word of another is enough evidence that is needed. But then realistically, the police are only doing their job by taking an allegation seriously. It is positive that you have not been arrested. A solicitor may not be able to do anything at this stage however.

            It would also be worth trying to think of a motive for her.

            Try to keep calm as there is nothing that you can do. But that is so hard - we are in same situation and find it impossible.

            Stay strong. The police have to progress with their investigation but unfortunately this takes time.

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi scaredbutsupported and welcome to the forum but so sorry you have had to find us.... a small degree of comfort - or none at all - is that everything you have described you are feeling, going through and asking yourself, are all sadly "normal" in a very abnormal but very common situation

              You do need to start to write down absolutely everything that you can remember about that time, times, who was there, who came and went etc. any tiny detail is important. keep this record somewhere safe ie other than on your computer in case the police want it!

              Another thing to realise is that the police have conviction targets to meet and are very keen on getting enough "evidence" for this to occur. Don't tell them ANYTHING they haven't asked you, and certainly don't talk to them without a solicitor present. Don't give them any documents etc that will prove you were somewhere else at the time she has stated. This is because 1. they will go back to here with this info and she will change her story to fit this new information; and 2. they will "lose" it or deny they ever had it...

              it's great that your wife is being so supportive for you but this will take a toll on both of you. You might like to consider visiting your GP to seek either medical support or talking therapy support....

              You're at the start of what could be a long and traumatic process; or it could be over quite quickly - both things have happened.....

              Keep strong and keep asking and we'll help all we can......MH
              "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Dave View Post
                Time to get legal representation ASAP, do a search on this site for your area, hopefully give you a clue to whom may be best near you.
                But for now, stay strong and make as many notes of that day/time that you can remember.

                - You've received some great advice so far . I'd just like to add... it's SO important to get a competent experieced legal team behind you, not only because you'll benefit from their expertise, but it'll also make a big difference to your moral etc to know you are in the hands of someone you can trust.
                Some specialised solicitors do do legal aid work.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Hi SBS

                  And yet another new face to reluctantly welcome

                  I am so sorry that you and your partner are going through this. You have had some great advice, better than you will know at this stage.
                  Forget all your preconceptions about plod being fair and impartial. Keep your 'aces' for your legal team should it come to that.

                  The shock of facing such allegations just cannot be described, it is devastating and lasts for about 4 weeks before some sort of normality returns. You may experience all or some of ptsd symptoms and your doc can help if needed.

                  On the plus side this is a place where you will be believed, supported and advised like nowhere else so keep coming back as and when you need to.

                  For encouragement, read some 'banana' threads

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thankyou all for your kind words. I have just spoken to a friend of mine who is a barrister for the CPS. He has given me a little hope and passed me on to a solicitor. I still feel sick and have hardly eaten in the last five days but feel better knowing that I have people in my corner. I am so gutted by this but glad that my beautiful wife is there for me. Again thanks for your kind words and advice.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by scaredbutsupported View Post
                      Thankyou all for your kind words. I have just spoken to a friend of mine who is a barrister for the CPS. He has given me a little hope and passed me on to a solicitor. I still feel sick and have hardly eaten in the last five days but feel better knowing that I have people in my corner. I am so gutted by this but glad that my beautiful wife is there for me. Again thanks for your kind words and advice.
                      not sure about the link with the CPS lawyers friend....

                      check the forum here, for Specialist Solicitors, you should find someone good there.

                      What area you from, maybe we could give more pointers.
                      Recommended Solicitors --- www.arcadianlaw.com
                      Proven results for people accused of False Allegations

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I also have my reserves about that ....

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Strictly speaking there should be no issues with friends recommendations even if they may seem to be a little strange.

                          The CPS can hardly be regarded as the cream of what's on offer with regards to legal practice and some on here would tend to think the opposite of the CPS.

                          If you have a friend who is a barrister, even if he is with the CPS, and he makes a recommendation then I would at least check it out. A lot of legal professionals jump from one side of the fence to the other and don't necessarily take any particular view other than simply to do the job that they are paid to do. We could as a group jump to assumptions and put forward conspiracy theories or attempt to thwart your decision making processes BUT you are the one directly facing the issue and you are the one that knows who, when, where, why and how to undertake your finding of a legal defence team.

                          If you are satisfied then you are satisfied. That's all that really matters.

                          If you would still wish further recommendations or potentially someones opinion on who you are using then it's only a matter of asking.

                          We'll all be here and potentially able to help in other ways.
                          Wow... A signature option!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Update- summons

                            This is my story from 4/8/13
                            I received a phone call the other day from a policeman saying there was an allegation of rape against me from 2002. I was gobsmacked and felt sick. I was bringing a group of kids back from a week long expedition that they had been planning for six months. I have two groups for young people which are quite successful and I have nearly always worked in the public sector, with young people or vulnerable adults.
                            The policeman asked me to attend an interview under caution on Friday just gone where I was questioned about the alleged event. The person who has made the allegation is the daughter of a girlfriend from around that time. She claims it all took place on a night when she babysat my children so I could work in the night. I am at a lost, I told my wife and two close friends who were with me when we got home from our trip. I have not eaten in four days, my sleep is disrupted and I can manage my day. I will have to cancel activities for a week and then get someone in to cover for me, I am frightened that the police may turn up at any point, I feel constantly sick and don't know where to turn. Bless her, my wife is my rock and I have her support but I and sooooo scared. I cannot understand why after eleven years an allegation like this has appeared. If the so called incident took place then why not report it earlier? Why not make a fuss, tell her mum, a million questions for which I have no answer. The policeman told me after the interview that it would be followed up and they would probably interview her again on video. He then went on to say that if there was insufficient evidence the NFA would be taken. I feel my world crumbling around me for something I have not done. I keep telling myself there is no evidence to support this allegation as it did not take place, I keep telling myself I am innocent but I keep breaking down. It is a living hell at the moment and this is only the first few days. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks in advance.

                            Today I got a call from the police telling me that the CPS have advised a charge to be made. The policeman cam around, I was in pieces, and explained how it works, that I will receive a summons to Mag. court and that it will go to CC. I am so messed up right now. Four months in and I was kind of back on track. I was expecting a NFA phone call at some point. My wife is behind me all the way but now I am so frightened. Spoke to my solicitor who is well known and respected, who tells me it is a week case. There is no specific date, only "the time she babysat you", I have never hurt anyone let alone the accusation I am facing. So I am here again, voicing my concerns. Very frightened, at a loss and not knowing what to do. There is no evidence of something that did not happen but the more I read, the more her statement is enough. At the end of the day it is her word against mine. Despite the reassurance from the solicitor, I can't help but feel negative. I have had an instructor in running my youth groups but this is starting to fall apart, I now have to tell my close friends that I am to face court. My wife is strong and tells me we will fight it but right now I fell helpless. Why are some people so cruel? Or is it the thought of a payout? After so long why would someone make this up? I am gutted to say the least. Let the rapid weight loss programme begin again? Help.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Hi SBS,

                              I'm so sorry to hear this news

                              I've merged your update with your previous thread as it will help any new members to appreciate your situation and the advice you have previously received regarding your solicitor.
                              'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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