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  • Defendant overseas

    Hello everybody,

    first of all, please excuse my english, I'm not a native speaker.
    As some of you I never dreamed I might need to find this forum, but actually this is the case now...
    I know that this is an UK/Commonwealth forum and that I won't find any legal advise for the actual case here. Before I joined, I read some of the threads and I really appreciate the way people discuss here and the fact, that this forum is about real rape cases and false allegations as well, is great. As a matter of fact, few internet pages try to play victims of one crime off against the victims of the other crime and this disgusts me. I know people (male & female) who have been raped and abused, one of them I know very close, and with their story in mind, I can't understand false accusers at all. Away from the disgust I feel towards people, who consciously put innocent people behind bars, false accusations are a degrading slap in the face of rape victims.
    So a big thank you to the owners and all the people giving advise here for their differentiated point of view and their support for both kinds of victims!

    As you can probably guess, it is difficult to talk about the ongoing case in detail on the internet. All I can say, is, that my brother is 100% innocent. I could give you reasons why, but I hope you understand that I can't at this point and I hope you can trust me about this.
    I'm from europe and my elder brother, who is falsely accused of rape right now, lives in the US (where he is being charged now).
    About half a year ago I lost my younger brother trough suicide. I was really, really close to him and I was the last person to speak to him and to find his body. His death came without warning and it shocked our whole family. We are close as a family in general and I think this helped us going through the first weeks and month after his death, as well as the help from many great friends of the family. But it was hard nonetheless and it was especially hard for me, to see my parents suffer that much, who always cared for us children with all their heart and energy and worked hard their whole life.
    Now, after this tragedy, my other brother was accused by his ex-girlfriend with rape after he left her.
    He has been living in the US for a few years now, he found his absolute dream job there and was generally very happy with his life there.
    He had been arrested, which was absolutely horrifying for him and we could bail him out with help from friends over there, after a few, devastating days. The amount my parents had to pay for the bail and the lawyer was a few 10k dollars and my parents had to pay it from their retirement savings and apparently there might come more stuff to pay for.
    Since then not much happened, but the insecurity and fear, especially over this long distance destroyed all normal life. After all, we had to fight for something like a "normal life" the months before and now it has been taken away again after such a short time period.
    My brother gets a lot of support right now from friends all over the world, which is a great for him and for us. But at the same time, he doesn't have contact to many friends locally, because he shared many friends with his ex-girlfriend.
    It is an exhausting up and down of emotions and I can just imagine, how my brother must feel with the fear of a long prison sentence in his mind. At some days i feel like the chance of a conviction is impossible, considering the facts that are given, but on some days the fear gets really big. Especially if you start to read news and stories in the internet about innocent prison inmates in the US.

    It breaks my heart every day and makes me endless sad, to see my parents suffering like they do now. The have been so great to their children, they have been working hard and never harmed anybody and now they have to watch on of their sons in this mess just after they lost their youngest child. I try to give them a positive attitude and to spirit them up , but it gets harder for me from day to day.

    Thank you for reading this story, which got longer than expected. I don't really know, what I expect from writing this on the internet, to the day I never used the internet to get any "counseling", but I really don't know to whom I should speak anymore. Good friends of mine try to be a support, but they're at their wits' end as well.

  • #2
    Hi Kalenk, I'm sorry to read about your brother.

    Just wanted to say hi and welcome although I'm sorry you had to find us.

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    • #3
      Hi from me too.

      I hope your brother manages to clear his name - FAs seem to be so common but devastatingly cruel

      Comment


      • #4
        Thank you guys!
        I hope that too. But as far as I can tell so far, it isn't very common to get a "clean" name back. The best thing one can hope for is a dismissal, but arrest record and so on keeps being on the internet..
        Well, I hope everything will turn out good someday...

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        • #5
          Hi and welcome from me too - sorry you had to find us and for your brother too. Hopefully the information you have which proves him 100% innocent will do just that.......keep strong and make sure you get some support for yourself too......MH
          "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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          • #6
            Oh man. Today I feel like life is over. The district attorney apparently wants to take this bull**** to trial and this process will take months or even years.
            My mother is completely devastated. Completely.
            I don't know what the hell is wrong with these people...

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            • #7
              Originally posted by kalenk View Post
              Oh man. Today I feel like life is over. The district attorney apparently wants to take this bull**** to trial and this process will take months or even years.
              My mother is completely devastated. Completely.
              I don't know what the hell is wrong with these people...
              I'm so very sorry for you all -you have been through enough as a family already.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by is there justice? View Post
                I'm so very sorry for you all -you have been through enough as a family already.
                Thank you so much.
                It is so weird, apparently an alleged victim stays trustful for the DA for ever. The original story has been changed a few times, she made explanations for very strong contradictions you could laugh about if it weren't so serious. It looks like the story gets changed until there is no proof for the contrary anymore...
                She can hide behind "victim shield" laws and he is the offender, until the contrary is proven.
                This process is so exhausting and if this takes much longer, my family will be ruined financially and emotionally.
                How can these people sleep at night??

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                • #9
                  hm I have to add, that I feel a bit better already after unloading this stuff here.
                  Maybe its also the thought, that the accuser apparently never was able to feel good feelings like a normal person and will be stuck in her obsessed, hateful mind all her life...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    It really is an awful time - but remember that people who do this have no morals, conscience or decent code for living at all......Keep asking for help and we will all we can.......................
                    "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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