My daily diary , terry""

[Terry]

16. Hi , My good frend Clint came and saw me for the first time since the incident , This gave me a warm feeling in side , it was so nice to see a friendly face I don't no whot was going throw his mind but I can only think he whonts to stand back and let time do its thing.

He told me he had seen my lovely wife " I just hope he hugged her for me". The evenings I seem to cope with but sleeping & the mornings is killing me , I seem always on my own and that's the hardest bit,
My tears keep coming , even now while I'm writing this I'm crying , it's hard to stay sain I don't no how much longer I can larst.
The police told me I can talk to my oldest son so
I text him yesterday 2/3 times asking to speak" but nothing,. " You tend to take one step forward then five back, it's breaking my hart, he's 21 this sat' and I'm not going to be there , I need to see him otherwise he'll remember his day without me for the rest of his life &'thats wrong .
This alone makes me won't to end my life , I no it's not the answer ' noing I've done nothing wronge. This is not the killer it's having your family & some close frends not talking or seeing you.

I carnt go out much , I feel everybody's looking at me , I rush around like a inbarassing tramp with a skin condition, I just won't to hide till all this is over.

Well lets hope today goes a bit better, tears and more tears this morning an't a good start, .I was told take long walks this helps , but how can I , I carnt even see my f**king dog . God I wish dogs could talk life would be so much easier .


Anyway , days are to short if ya heads right , so I'll keep this short,
Speak soon
GBWY ..luv ..

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Terry .... I obviously don't know your 21 year old, but if I had a penny for each time I text my son and say 'let's talk' and it comes to nothing, I would be a very rich woman! What's stopping you seeing him on his birthday? Is that part of your bail conditions? Unless I'm mistaken you're not allowed home, but I'm surprised there are restrictions to seeing your adult son. If you can't see him that day, can you arrange to skype? If so, try to arrange a specific time with him.

I know it's a really hard situation for you but try to show your wife and kids you're coping, and in making that effort you will probably find it easier to do so as well as making it easier for them.

This accusation may not come to anything, but it can go on for quite a long time (15 months in my son's case which seems to be fairly usual). Depression and crying saps your energy at a time when you need to be alert and on top of things. I hope your visit to the doc will be beneficial. You can probably get some councelling as well if you feel that would be helpful.

As for feeling awful when you go out... the fact you've been accused isn't written on your forhead, is it? Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, the person you are and your beliefs. You have as much right to walk out undisturbed than the next person and you've no idea what load the people you cross in the street are bearing.

Take care x

[Terry]

Thanks

Hi Terry .... I obviously don't know your 21 year old, but if I had a penny for each time I text my son and say 'let's talk' and it comes to nothing, I would be a very rich woman! What's stopping you seeing him on his birthday? Is that part of your bail conditions? Unless I'm mistaken you're not allowed home, but I'm surprised there are restrictions to seeing your adult son. If you can't see him that day, can you arrange to skype? If so, try to arrange a specific time with him.

I know it's a really hard situation for you but try to show your wife and kids you're coping, and in making that effort you will probably find it easier to do so as well as making it easier for them.

This accusation may not come to anything, but it can go on for quite a long time (15 months in my son's case which seems to be fairly usual). Depression and crying saps your energy at a time when you need to be alert and on top of things. I hope your visit to the doc will be beneficial. You can probably get some councelling as well if you feel that would be helpful.

As for feeling awful when you go out... the fact you've been accused isn't written on your forhead, is it? Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, the person you are and your beliefs. You have as much right to walk out undisturbed than the next person and you've no idea what load the people you cross in the street are bearing.

Take care x

Morning all,
Thanks for ya reply , my conditions on my bail sheet say, not to enter my town ,or try to contact a list of people " given" direct or indirectly .
I texted my son saying,if he whonts to talk I'm here , " he's not on the list" by I think he's promise his mum he wouldn't contact me , i put that in the text and if so text me me a blank text, And yes I got a blank text back,
That was a kick in the teeth, but I don't no whot he's been told, I asked for him to wait for the DNA results , for this will clear me,
I think this DNA is the next step I'm not shore, when I'm cleared whonts the next step for plod.!

My bref said this will be the next step this is whot they will be checking next , is that right?. Another thing should I stop my money going into the joint bank!, or just ask for cash as I need it!,

Thanks for ya help ...T...x

[whatsgoingon?]

The DNA samples will probably take several months to come back, so you'll have to be patient.

So far as the bank account goes, that's entirely up to you, either you feel you should and can be contributing to keeping the family home, or you can't or don't feel you want to. There are things you need to do to cover yourself for all eventuallities. Who usually does the house-keeping accounts and pays the bills? Before anything else, you should give the bank ( and any other financial institutions) your new address and ask for a duplicate of all mail to be sent to you at the new address (you might have to pay for this).

I would make sure that you consider and decide whether to make new arrangements for anything financial that could potentially get you into a mess eg mortgage, savings plan, or debts of any kind It might actaully be best for you to open an individual account, pay what you need to into the joint account, but for the moment pay important things (your share of the rent/mortgage, credit repayments) from your new account

I'm sure that someone on here has had to make such arrangements and can give you more precise advice.

Take care.