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Hi all sorry for the long post but I could really use some advice.
Ill start of by telling u whats going on.
About 2 years ago i started talking to someone on facebook. we got chatting more and more and after a few months met up. and got on great. We started a long distance relationship as she was 5 hours drive away. after 6 months she moved down to live with me. we found a house and moved in.
Thats when it started going bad. within a week she started getting very violent towards me. the violence continued getting worse and worse. she would blow up at the drop of a hat. one of the best ones being because she dropped the tea towel on the floor. i told her a number of times i would leave if it continued but it got worse and worse. on 2 occasions I had to lock myself in the bathroom because she was trying to stab me and in her temper she smashed my radio alarm clock up and smashed in 2 laptops because i locked myself away and she couldent hit me.
So i moved out but we carried on seeing each other while not living together on the condition she got anger managment help. she dident and the violence continued. we kept splitting up and me being to soft kept giving her one more chance.
however she then set up a test for me to prove my love which was for me to find her having a cosy drink with another man. the test was if i loved her i would hit the guy which i dident. i walked away and for me that was the end.
A few weeks later i recive a visit from the police. she had made a complaint off harrassment and said i had been in her back garden at night smashing things up. they handed me a slip saying it was a warning to keep away from her. I told them straight i dont want nothing to do with her and certainly havent been in been in her garden. A week later they turn up at the university i work in. and the same thing was said I had been in her garden! I told the officer straight I had not been there please leave me alone. After the third visit i told the officer I had had enough and asked if they had actualy looked at the garden as its completly enclosed by high wals with no way in or out.
The police went to take a look and returned later on. the police man told me that they had gone to look and agreed there was no way in or out and when they told my exe this she said that i must have been coming in over the house roofs then.
I said am i spiderman or what???? the police man agreed. he told me that they could see she was playing games and not to worry about it as they would deal with it..he then said but be warned often in these types of cases if the woman dosent succeed with the first aligation they will make something more up.
The next weekend i finished work and as i always did stopped in tescos on the way home. regular as clockwork id be there at 4.40 and she knew this having lived with me for 6 months and dated me for over a year. as i walked in she was in the entrance waiting. she looked at me and pretended to panic.
I spoke to my friend that night and told him guarenteed id get another visit from the police now.
And i did, the next day a big riot van pulled up outside my house and i was arrested on the suspission of harresment and to my shock RAPE!!
I was put in a cell at 10pm and not told anymore only that i would be interviewed by CID when they had finished with my exe.
7pm the next day they turned up and it was only at that point i was told what i was accused off.
She has accused me of on 7 or 8 occasions while we were living and sleeping together of having anal sex with her while she was sleeping without her consent.
I looked at my solicitor and said WHAT!!! thats not even possible!!!
I had my interview after which my solicitor said "well that dident go as I expected as they dident have a go at you dident attack you just talked to you. its probably because everything you said made sense and everything she said sounded a joke" We applied for bail which i was granted withing 30 minutes.however it was conditional. I was not allowed to enter my home town as she lives there meaning that after 2 months i could no longer afford my house so lost it and I am on curfew of 11pm allthough I have not been tagged.
I found out that the police had searched my office and taken my pc and laptop. ransacked my house and taken my laptop phone and xbox.
My head of HR came to see me a couple of days later and I explained to her what had happened, the university had spoken to the police and i returned to work a few days later as both parties were happy for me to be in work working with student!!!! surely they would not allow someone they thought was a rapist to work?
Since then the police have done absolutly nothing. I have a list of 20 witnesses that are alibies for many of the times I was supposedly in her garden (she would phone next morning so the police dident come out that night to see i wasent there)
and since then she has been going around telling people i raped her. also she has got in contact with one of my exe girlfriends trying to get her on side and trying to get her to back her up which she obviously dident.
She then stalked on of my female friends making her very scared and having to go to the police herself. the police officer she spoke to was involved in the very start and looked at my friend when she said my exes name, shook his said and said "she is not all there!
a week ago i had an email saying that the DC that was investigating had been taken off the case and now a TDC was investigating. A bloody Trainee DC.
This is getting beyond a joke now. I have lost 2 stone in weigh and havent sleped for 5 months.
how long can this go on for??? and how long are they alowed to keep me on curfew when i have not been charged with anything? my life has been destroyed by this woman and the curfew is keeping it that way.
I have met a lovely lady 4 weeks ago and I have explained what is going on. she is a social worker and has seen it all before so is not but off especialy as the aligation is so stupid.
but if its so stupid why cant they just throw it out? can anyone please tell me how long this will go on for and how long they can keep this curfew going when I havent been charged with anything. its stoping me get on with my life. I feel like I am being punished when i havent done anything.
Any advice would be greatly recived.
Thank you
Ill start of by telling u whats going on.
About 2 years ago i started talking to someone on facebook. we got chatting more and more and after a few months met up. and got on great. We started a long distance relationship as she was 5 hours drive away. after 6 months she moved down to live with me. we found a house and moved in.
Thats when it started going bad. within a week she started getting very violent towards me. the violence continued getting worse and worse. she would blow up at the drop of a hat. one of the best ones being because she dropped the tea towel on the floor. i told her a number of times i would leave if it continued but it got worse and worse. on 2 occasions I had to lock myself in the bathroom because she was trying to stab me and in her temper she smashed my radio alarm clock up and smashed in 2 laptops because i locked myself away and she couldent hit me.
So i moved out but we carried on seeing each other while not living together on the condition she got anger managment help. she dident and the violence continued. we kept splitting up and me being to soft kept giving her one more chance.
however she then set up a test for me to prove my love which was for me to find her having a cosy drink with another man. the test was if i loved her i would hit the guy which i dident. i walked away and for me that was the end.
A few weeks later i recive a visit from the police. she had made a complaint off harrassment and said i had been in her back garden at night smashing things up. they handed me a slip saying it was a warning to keep away from her. I told them straight i dont want nothing to do with her and certainly havent been in been in her garden. A week later they turn up at the university i work in. and the same thing was said I had been in her garden! I told the officer straight I had not been there please leave me alone. After the third visit i told the officer I had had enough and asked if they had actualy looked at the garden as its completly enclosed by high wals with no way in or out.
The police went to take a look and returned later on. the police man told me that they had gone to look and agreed there was no way in or out and when they told my exe this she said that i must have been coming in over the house roofs then.
I said am i spiderman or what???? the police man agreed. he told me that they could see she was playing games and not to worry about it as they would deal with it..he then said but be warned often in these types of cases if the woman dosent succeed with the first aligation they will make something more up.
The next weekend i finished work and as i always did stopped in tescos on the way home. regular as clockwork id be there at 4.40 and she knew this having lived with me for 6 months and dated me for over a year. as i walked in she was in the entrance waiting. she looked at me and pretended to panic.
I spoke to my friend that night and told him guarenteed id get another visit from the police now.
And i did, the next day a big riot van pulled up outside my house and i was arrested on the suspission of harresment and to my shock RAPE!!
I was put in a cell at 10pm and not told anymore only that i would be interviewed by CID when they had finished with my exe.
7pm the next day they turned up and it was only at that point i was told what i was accused off.
She has accused me of on 7 or 8 occasions while we were living and sleeping together of having anal sex with her while she was sleeping without her consent.
I looked at my solicitor and said WHAT!!! thats not even possible!!!
I had my interview after which my solicitor said "well that dident go as I expected as they dident have a go at you dident attack you just talked to you. its probably because everything you said made sense and everything she said sounded a joke" We applied for bail which i was granted withing 30 minutes.however it was conditional. I was not allowed to enter my home town as she lives there meaning that after 2 months i could no longer afford my house so lost it and I am on curfew of 11pm allthough I have not been tagged.
I found out that the police had searched my office and taken my pc and laptop. ransacked my house and taken my laptop phone and xbox.
My head of HR came to see me a couple of days later and I explained to her what had happened, the university had spoken to the police and i returned to work a few days later as both parties were happy for me to be in work working with student!!!! surely they would not allow someone they thought was a rapist to work?
Since then the police have done absolutly nothing. I have a list of 20 witnesses that are alibies for many of the times I was supposedly in her garden (she would phone next morning so the police dident come out that night to see i wasent there)
and since then she has been going around telling people i raped her. also she has got in contact with one of my exe girlfriends trying to get her on side and trying to get her to back her up which she obviously dident.
She then stalked on of my female friends making her very scared and having to go to the police herself. the police officer she spoke to was involved in the very start and looked at my friend when she said my exes name, shook his said and said "she is not all there!
a week ago i had an email saying that the DC that was investigating had been taken off the case and now a TDC was investigating. A bloody Trainee DC.
This is getting beyond a joke now. I have lost 2 stone in weigh and havent sleped for 5 months.
how long can this go on for??? and how long are they alowed to keep me on curfew when i have not been charged with anything? my life has been destroyed by this woman and the curfew is keeping it that way.
I have met a lovely lady 4 weeks ago and I have explained what is going on. she is a social worker and has seen it all before so is not but off especialy as the aligation is so stupid.
but if its so stupid why cant they just throw it out? can anyone please tell me how long this will go on for and how long they can keep this curfew going when I havent been charged with anything. its stoping me get on with my life. I feel like I am being punished when i havent done anything.
Any advice would be greatly recived.
Thank you
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