the waiting game

[jonathan]

hi all , well now on week six , as you warned me it would be an emotional rollercoaster, the first two weeks were the worst. i have tried to occupy my time , i wrote a letter to my mp last week about how we are all trapped by false allegations, waiting to hear back from her. i rang my solicitor last week , but unless i get charged dont get to see him , asked him about putting in a claim for deffamation of character , he said there was no point , i realise that he does not get paid unless i am charged. there is no help outside of this site and seemingly nothing that i can do . as i was a support worker i lost my job and not able to apply for that type of work , so looking at everything else , the job centre are not really interested , i have a meeting with an advisor there next week , an nfa for me now would be no good , i almost need to be charged to clear my name , the problem is what to do with myself in the meantime , i find that i am able to block it out during the day but at night my sub concience takes over and i am lucky to get 4 hours sleep .
everything happens for a reason

[Bluenikky68]

Hi Jonathan
I'm only in first half of week one and think I know what you mean. Totally lost and although I can go to work tomorrow, I'm not sure I want to, despite my manager being fully aware and totally supportative.

I've spent a lot of the past 2 days on here, reading and learning and trying to understand. At night, I'm using zopiclone, but at half the doctor's suggested dose. I know I need to sleep, but they're addicitive and I don't need any additional problems in my life right now! I've also been given diazepam for 'emergency' times (again, I don't want to use, as addictive) and Propanolol to try to use instead. Apparently, these beta-blockers are not addictive and don't dull my mind, only the physical nausea, shakes and anxiety symtoms. I had these already, due to the stress caused by no contact, but the police didn't return them in my property so the doc gave me a repeat prescription.

Seems sill for somebody that s falling apart to say it, but "Be strong" if you can! Take care J.
BN

[just married]

Good to hear from you again jonathan.
You sound to be impressively motivated. Well done. I don't remember from your previous posts if you mentioned seeing your GP and getting counselling? (Yes, I remember now, there was a delay, and a waiting list...and snow.... sod's law... How is it going.. , the counselling, Did you start yet?) It can help a lot, giving a bit of once-a-week structure, and another dimension to the isolating situation.
Hopefully you have a few trusted friends and family to talk to as well?
Do keep on posting and let us know what's going on.

JM

[jonathan]

hi again

i have my first session with a councellor on wednesday , also on saturday i rang the samaritans, not for help but to join them , i am going to go to an open day in 2 weeks and see if i can become one , trying to use my skills in a different way x

[Boys don't cry]

Jonathan.

Well done for all your proactive resolutions.
I would like to reassure you about your state,especially at night.We are all going (or went) through the same.

You have my greatest respect for applying to be a Samaritan.
I walked pass a center today and remembered...I did ring them 3 or 4 times and some are life savers.

Well done and keep on.

[just married]

Jonathan you're doing amazing things with your energy, I'm humbled. Good for you.
The first counselling session is gonna be about getting accustomed to each other.... I spent best part of an hour trying to raise a smile... at the 50 minute mark, there was a trace of one, and after that, the following week, the relationship became strong and incredibly positive... good luck with it....
Samaritans, wow.... I may well think about following your lead on some of your ideas.

Mind you, with your previous support work within the NHS, you're ideally qualified to help..... brilliant.. all power to you.
JM

[myhome]

Hi Jonathon - this sounds really positive......keep strong....

[jonathan]

nfa

hi all. early evening last night i got a call from the police officer that arrested me 9 weeks ago , saying that she had some good news for me, she said that to progress they needed a 50 percent chance of a conviction . it turns out that they found messages of an adult nature on my accusers phone to somebody else. bringing her character into question . so nfa. not even a sorry . i have lost my job, also my accuser still wanted me prosecuted . i had done all my homework and had a good case against her . i will take this as a learning curve and try to help others on here and in life, best wishes to you all ,regards jonathan

[whatsgoingon?]

Hi Jonathan, really pleased to hear this and I hope you're not dissapointed as I believe you said earlier you wanted it to go to trial so that you could clear your name. This nightmare is over (the rest will just be headaches) . It's bound to take a few weeks for you to get your sleep back and resume some level of normality. Good luck job hunting!

[just married]

Jonathan, delighted to hear this!! Congratulations. I hope and pray that the new energy you've found within yourself can be put to good use throughout the future.
Interesting that the police looked at her phone.... was she also investigated, I wonder.
Welcome to the world of nfa.

[myhome]

Hi Jonathon - can understand some disappointment at nfa but you can now start to look forward and rebuild your life again. As I said in a previous reply, I htink - would you really want to work for such a judgemental, callous and uncaring company. I think this shouldn't show up on a new CRB (now called DBS) - my renewal has just come back with nothing on it - though happy to be corrected by those in the know. In the meantime

[lonley place]

Congratulations Jonathon LP

[billykickass]

Congratulations mate go forth and have a great life and never look back!

[RFLH]

that's brilliant news, very pleased for you.

[Boys don't cry]

Excellent news Jonathan,all the best for your future.