So the fight begins...

[why_me]

Hello all

I am currently in a very dark place and feel so low and defeated right now.

I am a married father of 6 and stepdad to 1. Earlier this year I was arrested and questioned about an alleged series of rapes and abuses that were said to have happened during 1999-2000. The so called victims were at this time 9 and 11 years old. I was initially bailed for 9 weeks and earlier this week rebailed for a further 4 months. All my computer equiptment, mobile phones etc were seized.

During interview I had the duty solicitor and answered all questions honestly and to the best of my ability. When I was initially arrested I wasn't told who was making the allegations and still didn't know during the 6 hour stint in the cells before interview. All I could think was that it must be a case of mistaken identity and everything would be ok. However when I was interviewed and told who was making these allegations I was gob smacked. I can't go into too much detail for obvious reasons, but I didn't even know these girls in 1999 and didn't meet them untill 2002! This all came out in interview, and even their own statements through things they have said proove I couldn't have known them when they alledge these rapes took place, and at the time I didn't even live in the house where they claim these nasty things took place. Due to this I was confident that common sense would prevail and I would be NFA'd when I answered my bail. However I wasn't and instead was rebailed untill December!! I am really scared right now and have been googling for the past few days and came across this wonderful site.

However after reading some of the stories on here, I have now convinced myself I will be charged and sent to prison for a very long time. I have read on many a thread that those accused should hold cards close to their chest and not reveal certain things to the police, as they have a habbit of "moving the goal posts" This has really scared me because in the girls statements they have said things that wouldn't hold water if they stuck to the original dates, but now I'm scared the police will tell them what I have said and they will change their stories to fit my answers!!

There are also other lies which I can proove are lies relating to things that I was supposed to have said and done on facebook, but can proove I didn't. They even described me to the police using my profile picture from facebook and said at the time they knew me I had certain identifying marks, which I can proove I didn't get until after all contact with these people was lost and I had moved away from the area.

Anyway suffice to say that this is ruining my familys lives. Fortunately I now have a wonderful wife and she supports and stands by me 100%. She is fully aware of all the allegations as are the dreaded SS who have already been poking their noses in! To be honest I don't know which will be worse a long prison sentance or being excluded from my childrens lives if charged. We are a very close family and in the 7 years my and my wife have been together we haven't argued once and are the best of freinds and true soul mates! The fact that this is tearing her apart is killing me.

Over the past few weeks I have hardly slept and have kind of accepted the fact that my life as I once knew it is over and have lost all will to fight. You see this is just the last in a long line of tragedies that I/we have had to face, starting with me having to bury 2 of my children within 18 months of each other in the mid nineties. My then partner having a massive breakdown, going to the shop one day and dissapearing for 2 years leaving me to bring up 2 young children on my own. Then turning up out of the blue getting custody and moving miles away with the kids I had struggled to bring up on my own and had such a strong bond with. I then met my current wife and thought that my life had turned a corner and finally I could be happy. But then 2 of our children were born seriously ill with life threatening genetic disorders which required bone marrow transplants. The youngest son had his transplant in 2008 when he was just 13 months old, but suffered horrendously after it. A team of doctors literally had to battle for days on end to keep him alive and we were told that he wasn't going to make it on more than one occasion.Then My eldest son had his first BMT in February last year which saw him suffer badly also, and all for nothing as that transplant failed. He then had a second transplant in August which also went horribly wrong and caused a massive brain bleed and blood clot, which required emergency surgery and has left him paralised on one side and unable to walk think or speak properly. And now this!! When will it all end? I genuinely believe that I am somehow cursed. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and never wake up again. I am so worried about what will happen to my family if I am sent to prison! How will my wife cope with all the stresses and strains of raising disabled children alone? How will people treat my children if I am branded "A child rapist" Will all my wifes freinds who are a great support to her abandon her if I am charged? It just dosen't bare thinking about, but think about it I do!! Constantly!!

I am a very hands on dedicated father and love my kids to the moon and back, and would never do the things I have been accused of to any child, woman or beast. Why do people make these accusations? what is in it for them? They are both adults now and must surely know the impact this will have on my family..... I really do feel defeated right now. I even phoned my solictor to ask what to do about certain bits of evidence I had uncovered and they haven;'t bothered ringing back. Maybe they have given up on me too!

Sorry about the long winded post, just needed to get it all of my chest!

[Saffron]

Hello Why Me and welcome. I'm sorry you had to find us but glad that you did.

Do you know why you have been rebailed until December? If Plod have seized your computer and phone I would guess they are waiting for forensic analysis to be done on them. Given that the alleged "victims" were children when they claim you abused them, Plod will be looking for images of child porn, or checking your facebook account etc to see if you have had any contact with them.

These are historic allegations, so there is no other evidence than their word. Your fear that the girls will be given the opportunity to change their stories with regard to dates - well, it does sometimes happen. However, they are claiming that the abuse happened 1999 to 2000, which is a landmark year, being the start of the new millenium. I would say it's far easier to confuse 1998 and 1999, but not 2000 and 2002. However you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that this might happen.

I recommend that you get yourself a good solicitor as soon as possible. Duty sols can be good, but this is a serious allegation, so you need to get a specialist on board - one who specialises in defending false allegations of sexual assault. There is little a sol can do until you are charged as the CPS will not release any statements until that point. (this could be why your duty sol is not returning your calls). However it is very important that you get a really good sol lined up.

With regard to your current solicitor - if they are not returning your calls, ring up and ask for the names of the senior partners and say you want to write to them. I tried this and miraculously our sol came to the phone.

And as for motive, well there could be any number of reasons.
Compensation for the victims of sexual assault is huge, running into thousands of pounds. Are these accusers financially broke?
Attention seeking is another reason. Never underestimate the power of "victim status."
Of course, they could just be nasty little liars as well.

Others will be along shortly with more advice. In the meantime, welcome.

[Casehardened]

Just a quick reply for the moment,

Firstly welcome to the forum, you will find that it makes everything easier to bear if you can chat to folks who, in the main, have been through the mill or know someone who has.

In regard to your particular circumstances, yes 'victims' have been known to change dates and times but, whilst a few days may be excusable, to miss the target by 2 years will be difficult to justify and explain why they got it so wrong. With this huge variation it was probably better to mention it; after all it would be much more preferable for you and your family to get a NFA rather than a trial and a Not Guilty verdict.

Your long bail date suggests that the CPS don't see this going anywhere either.

It will be impossible for you not to think about the case so use this factor constructively to consider a possible defence and possible motives for the girls to make this allegation.

Edit to say my post overlapped with Saffron's (who has made much more sensible suggestions!)

[why_me]

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply Saffron and casehardened. Right now this site is a godsend to me. I tell my wife to try and not worry as it is all lies and it will all come out in the wash, however inside I'm in turmoil. Everytime I look at my kids I feel a bit of my heart break and fall away. They have all been through so much over the past few years and I can't bare the thought of them having to go through this and of not being there for them.

When I was arrested, it was done in front of all the kids as it was at 7:30am and they were getting ready to go to school. Seeing their Dad cuffed and dragged out by 2 burly coppers terrified them. They even took my disabled sons mobile phone, literally out of his hands. I feel so so bad for them and just can't come to terms with it. My 5 year old is now having nightmares about the police "taking Mummy and Daddy away" I thought the police had to be sensitive where kids were involved?

Anyway I have no cofidence in the duty solictor I have as she looked at me worse than the police did when they were questioning me and didn't intervene once when I was being aggresively questioned. I told her that the police were very insensitive in front of my children, and she that it was undertandable given the nature of the allegations!! So I will be looking for a better solicitor should I be charged. Better still if RF can recommend one to me in my area, I'd be very grateful! (I can PM the details)

Saffron, they didn't say why they were extending the bail, just that they had further enquiries to do.

[Verity]

Hi Why me,

Sorry, I can't say anything at the moment or I'll burst into tears, so until
I've pulled myself together have a xxx

[Saffron]

Hi WhyMe

Unfortunately you will not be able to send a PM until you have made 5 posts and been on the site for 10 days or more. This is because we had a big problem a while ago with spammers, and also with people who would register, but then ask for advice via a PM rather than contribute to our little community. Once we had offered advice via PM, they would often disappear without further comment.

If you post up the county you live in (NOT the town, just the county) RF may be able to advise on a sol. If she doesn't know any in your county that does not mean there are no good ones.

Keep your chin up. All is NOT lost.

[psychotic]

support

lately i have been feeling up and down again even though things have gone better than i expected at every step... my situation is similar to yours as they have taken my computer, my cell phones etc... completely crippling my life in general

but i guess the saying goes the best way to learn myself is to teach others - so i must urge you to continue to fight! we are all here to support u and each other!

since my court date was dropped i have tried to live my life like normal before... and although i don't understand why the police won't close the case yet, by being more comfortable with the situation and telling some more of my friends, this makes me feel more optimisitic everyday (until these last 2 days... maybe cus my bday is coming up)

anyway i guess theres nothing better we can all do at this point but to ride it out, the folks here give great advice and support! i still come to the site often to read when i feel down! glad u found all of us here! we will be here for you!

[Saffron]

Thanks for your input, Psychotic. Please remember that you can come here when you are feeling good as well! It does our hearts good to hear positive thoughts

[psychotic]

well i am waiting for the day where the police is done so i can come here and put up a very big positive post!

i read somewhere that on the forum that if the police seized your comp and cell, it takes months for them to do analysis? is it the sole reason my court date was dropped? the cps returned the file to the police for further investigation... that was back in may... and here in canada my conditions have all been lifted... of course my lawyer tells me to continue to carry on... but its been almost 4 months since the cops took my cop... are they just waiting for the computer analysis part? i know canadians do things very slowly as well

although my lawyer also says the longer the cps/police drag this out, the less case they have against you... i have read some other stuff on internet that some people do get charged after 2 years or longer... what do u guys think? my case is not of historical nature

[why_me]

Thanks for the support everyone! This really is a great site. I feel a little better now after having read some more threads, especially the ones were not guilty verdicts and NFA's were mentioned We can only hope!!

Saffron, I am in West Yorks.

[felix]

Hi Why me,

Hang in there. I know the Met has such a backlog of laptops to review that they asked me to help anlayse my own laptop in front of them..... Months - 6+ or more, is not atypical and I suppose it is not trivial to find out whether files names 610079.jpg are of the cat or of a 12 year old girl, or even of a 19 year old girl dressed up to look 12....

[A RUINED LIFE]

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo sorry and digusted at the way you are being treated your just another example of how good the police are great at picking on the weak its like they are hard wired bullies PLEASE BE STONG WE ALL HERE FOR YOU

[windmill]

long wait

I am going through a similar situation. I was given a 6 month bail date and was told that this was a standard period of time to analyse my computer and phone and other electronic equipment that they seized. I actually got my phone back about 6 weeks later and a memory stick but they kept the rest. I was finally reinterviewed and charged 5 months into the 6 month bail period. At the time I was sharing a house with 2 other guys. They got their computers seized as part of my arrest. 1 came back clear however one of the other guys is still waiting and that's now 8 months from the date they were seized! He was had his bail date extended twice now - I suspect the Holiday period has also not helped - so in summary when computers are taken it looks like 6 months plus is quite normal.

[shattered]

So the fight begins...

Hi all

I originally registered last year under the user name why_me, however I lost my password and have been unable to login, and because I have changed ISP I no longer have access to my old email accounts so couldn't reset my password.



Anyway, after many rebails I was charged with various offences and have so far had 2 court appearences. 1 in magistrates and 1 in crown. My case has now been adjourned untill july for the PCMH, with the trial set for November.

The fact that I was charged after a year on bail really knocked me and my wife for six!!! Even my solicitor couldn't believe I was charged given the strength of the evidence produced so far. We don't yet have full disclosure but what we have so far is so far fetched, full of holes and contradictory, I am struggling to understand how any CPS barrister could think he had even a 30% chance of a conviction. Obviously I can't go into detail, but in a weird sort of way, we are looking forward to trial to completely show the non victims up!!!

One thing I want to add is that in my original thread I was a little upset with my solicitors and not very confident in them as I had gone with the duty solicitor. However it turns out that they are rather good and have a very good female barrister that they instruct in cases like this. She is a senior barrister and also a part time judge. I googled her and it seems she is very highly sought after in these sorts of cases by both the CPS and defence, and has won some very high profile cases. She seems very on the ball and immediately picked up on all the **** that these vile leeches have spouted. I won't name them in open forum just now without their permission, but anyone in the west yorks area who needs a solictor/ barrister is welcome to get in touch by PM.

Shattered

[wunderland]

one of my lawyer's who is a very good friend told me listen mate they will try almost anything as long as the girl wan't to proceed