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  • I need help

    In january I had sex with a 16 year old girl... Im 19.
    Met her outside my work place and we just went for a walk and we had sex in nearby woodlands for about half an hour.
    During sex she did the usual... Orgasm etc.
    But she never said, no, stop etc... Anything like that.
    So I lost my virginity, all good... We walked into town and she asked where her m kat was, I dont know what it is but we swap numbers and head in different ways.
    Next day I chill at home... That evening as I come home from the chemist I see two people enter a car, and as me and my family pull up, they get out and inform me that they are CID officers... So right then I panic, I was accused of rape by the girl I met the night before.
    So I get my clothes, phone, wallet etc and get taken to the police station... 19 hours a medical and interview later I get put on six week bail.
    I go to work, the police were there earlier looking for me... So I told my manager and he knew I wasnt capable of rape, then everyone who knows gives me support... They know im just the friendly barman at the bowling alley... But then the rape victim cimes in later while im on bail and asks for a job... Hold on, why ask for a job at the place where you know your apparant rapist works.
    So six weeks pass, I get called a rapist c@@t at work and had the pleasure of seeing the girl do her usual breaking down routine at college when she see's me.
    Last weekend before my bail ends I get a call from the officer assigned to me... They found drugs in her system and there was insufficient evidence so it was dropped... She ruined my life.

  • #2
    This story is similar to my sons he got nfa it now follows us around like a bad smell I'm scared all the time in case he sees her and kicks Off so I don't think we will ever be free of this I just hope one day we learn how to live with it but for now it's one day at a time big hugs I hope it gets better for you xx

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    • #3
      I got a nfa as well... But now everytime I see her she goes all scared... Which is obvious to everyone its an act.

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      • #4
        If you got an NFA (my son was NFA'd too ) for gods sake be careful

        No One night stands etc don't EVER let yourself be put in this situation again

        It's getting very common for females to cry rape
        This will be on your police files now unfortunately usually on an enhanced check
        My son just passed his normal CRB check but he knows other jobs may do a more indepth one

        You can move on from this terrible situation and you will, it's just that life will be different to what it used to be

        You have to protect yourself now

        If she is being a nuisance to you and causing you grief is there anything that can be done to her ? Other more experienced members will be able to help you

        It annoys me that CPS are ending certain cases with NFA instead of no crime when it's obvious these accusations are lies

        Stay with us, we can guide you through the recovery process, it won't be instant, but you can get there

        We're nearly 3 weeks into our NFA and life is really getting there for us

        We will never forget, and never be who we were
        But my god we are at a better place than we were for our months of hell

        Take care xx
        I live in hope it's over forever

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        • #5
          My son is back with the mother of his kids who he was with 4 years before the she devil but I still trust nobody 100 per cent is that bad of me lolx

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          • #6
            Stand up

            How can this girl on drugs has ruined your life???
            You have already a NFA,you are just 19 so you have your life infront of you.
            You said that your manager trusts you as well as your friends,so just avoid her as much as possible.
            If your manager trusts you that much he will make sure that she doesn't get the job.
            Just keep low profile for a while and just tell the truth:That she was on drugs and attracted you.
            Next time beware of the easy quicky.
            But don't be proud to lose your virginity like this,you will learn that if the girl has feelings for you maybe she won't claim for you know what.
            She didn't ruin your life but gave you a lesson.
            Just keep your chin up and enjoy the rest of your life.
            Non,je ne regrette rien.

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            • #7
              The thing that worries me... What if I go for a job and the owners, ask for a CRB check and it comes back like this.

              XXXX XXXXXXXX

              Accused Of Rape / Sexual Assault

              My chances of getting a job in I.T. will be over :'(
              Last edited by Casehardened; 13 March 2012, 10:59 PM. Reason: To remove name

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              • #8
                Edit your post and take your name out, this forum can be read by anyone

                I'm sure in IT you'll be fine if I'm wrong someone here will tell you otherwise

                My son is more in the building trade so would probably need an enhanced check but he knows the drill if he has to explain

                It takes 2 lawyers who separately look at your case at CPS to decide on no further action, so that speaks volumes that your accuser had flaws in her story
                If you think an employer will want a full CRB check it's good to quietly explain what happened to you, that you were no charged but had to go through the formality of it being investigated, your honesty will also show them you're innocent

                You have your whole life ahead of you and you have to enjoy it, but safely

                There is life after NFA, you have to remember this
                Xx
                I live in hope it's over forever

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                • #9
                  An NFA will only show up on an ENHANCED CRB.
                  That is only required for work with children or vulnerable adults.
                  So unless the IT job was somewhere like a school, I don't think it should matter.
                  "Be sure your sin will find you out"

                  Numbers 32:23

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