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  • Partner accused of rape

    Hi there.
    police brayed on door and arrested my partner in the early hours of this morning, as his ex-partner has falsely accused him of raping her.
    Friday gone he actually filed a report with the police over her assaulting him infront of their son. I believe her accusations have stemmed from anger over this. She is unstable, to say the least.
    I'm sickened, and i am scared, and looking for any information or advice anyone could give please.

    Have phoned the police station and asked them what the process is with such a situation, what is likely to happen, and who, if anyone, i can speak to. The lady was pretty helpful, told me to try get a little more sleep (yeah, right!) and to ring back when i woke up, as they should be able to give me a little more info then, and he should be booked into custody by that point so they can let him know that i have been in touch and ask him for permission to speak to me. I am watching the clock.


    What is likely to happen from now??

    Is there anything I can do?


    Anything anyone can say would be really appreciated.

    Thanks in advance.
    c&c
    xx

  • #2
    Hello again,

    What a awful thing to happen and a shock for you both.

    If you do get a chance to speak to him the most important advice you can give him is to not be interviewed without a solicitor present (this is tempting if one has never been in trouble with the police before)

    At this moment it probably won't be possible to source a specialist solicitor so accept the duty solicitor; he can always change later.

    From the information you have given us, I would predict your partner will be processed (fingerprinted, photographed, DNA swabbed) and interviewed regarding the allegation. Unless he admits the allegation he will almost certainly be bailed pending further enquiries and be back home later today.

    You will then both be on the merry-go-round that many other members are presently on. (and will doubtless have many more questions)

    Easy for me to say don't worry, but as I mentioned on your other post, this is not an unusual scenario and because of the complaint from his ex the police are just doing their job.
    Last edited by Casehardened; 14 February 2012, 08:12 AM. Reason: correct early morning typos
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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    • #3
      Hi again Casehardened.
      Thankyou for your response.

      I've since spoken to the custody (suite? i don't know the correct terms) and was told he is still there (Which of course i expected), and he will be there for some time yet, and was told that I can keep checking back in with them, and if i'm willing to provide a contact number then they can let him know that i have been in contact and that if he wants to call me when he gets the opportunity, then he can. .....Not sure what this means, whether they mean once they're done questioning him and he can come home, or if he won't be out on bail, or what.

      There is no way he will admit to it, he didn't do it. He's been involved with the police before, and he has his head screwed on well and so i don't believe he'd even dream of not accepting a duty solicitor.

      My head is spinning, probably not helped by the fact that my little boy stayed here last night for the first night in a while (he lives with my mum due to physical issues that I have which make it hard for me to provide him with all that he needs), and all of this has happened. Of course, it's nothing compared to what my partner is going through.


      I'll no doubt return with more questions, looking for more advice.

      thank you for taking the time to reply, it's much appreciated, though i'm struggling a little to take stuff in right about now.
      xx

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by cluelessandconfused View Post
        Not sure what this means, whether they mean once they're done questioning him and he can come home, or if he won't be out on bail, or what.

        There is no way he will admit to it, he didn't do it. He's been involved with the police before,
        As his ex says he did and he says he didn't the CPS will have to make a decision as what to do based on the police interviews and investigation. This will inevitably take time, possibly even some months. In these circumstances bail will almost certainly be granted (unless the other involvement with the police was for a similar allegation or if he skipped bail then)

        Hopefully once he's home you will be able to relax a bit.
        'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Casehardened View Post
          As his ex says he did and he says he didn't the CPS will have to make a decision as what to do based on the police interviews and investigation. This will inevitably take time, possibly even some months. In these circumstances bail will almost certainly be granted (unless the other involvement with the police was for a similar allegation or if he skipped bail then)

          Hopefully once he's home you will be able to relax a bit.
          Thanks so much. It was for assault, and he didn't skip bail.
          I'm not even sure when he is supposed to have done this, is he likely to know when she has said that it's allegedly happened? Would he have been asked his whereabouts on such-and-such, etc?

          Have a very limited, and probably very wonked!, view of all things police-related, as only going by tv shows! I realise i'm completely naive when it comes to this, so as i thought, more and more questions just seem to be coming from nowhere.

          What is the CPS? Is that crown prosecution service? Is there a topic here that you could please point me to that explains all the jargon, please?


          thanks xx

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by cluelessandconfused View Post
            I realise i'm completely naive when it comes to this, so as i thought, more and more questions just seem to be coming from nowhere.

            What is the CPS? Is that crown prosecution service? (yes) Is there a topic here that you could please point me to that explains all the jargon, please?

            I'm rather immodestly going to plug my own sticky

            http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now
            'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

            Comment


            • #7
              cluelessandconcerned, you are both about to face the biggest test of your relationship but the good news (cold comfort just now) is that if you stick together, this could make your relationship unbelievably strong.

              Prepare for your partner to be quite distressed on his return...no one can prepare themselves for the nasty experience at the police station. Even if he has had dealings with police before, it will never have been about something along these lines, I assume. He will be asked some pretty nasty questions and the police will try and come over to him in various different ways. If he has a solicitor with him then it shouldn't catch him out. They may try anything such as threatening to arrest you, implying that they have proof, assuring him that this could all be over etc etc. Don't be alarmed by this...it is all normal.

              An arrest doesn't imply that they believe him to be guilty necessarily although the cold truth is that you will soon find out his innocence is irrelevant once the police get their eye on a juicy potential conviction. Whenever a complaint of a sexual nature is raised, police must follow a certain procedure which usually involves an arrest.

              Like casehardened says, he should then be bailed whilst the police continue their investigation. This will involve them putting your husband's statement to the accuser if he has said much (I say that as it is fairly normal for a solicitor to advise a 'no comment' interview...don't worry if this happens. It is the police's job to gather evidence and often it is advisable to give them no ammunition that can be twisted...particularly if the case is shaky in the first place)

              Once they have gathered what they want (and don't fall into the trap of handing over any evidence you find to support you...keep it safe in case a charge comes as the police are just looking for anything that might secure a conviction. If they get evidence they will only go back to the accuser and get them to change their statement so it fits in. Not always, but it is more widespread than you think so best not take that risk. The police will play the 'we are just trying to get to the truth' line but they are not to be trusted...they have targets to meet. Any evidence that you do have to hand over, ask your solicitor first and only send copies) they will then send a file to the CPS who will decide whether or not to charge. The whole process can take months.

              Be prepared to feel numb and upset...there will be feelings of dread and fear but I promise it does become easier. You won't ever feel normal during the process...but it isn't always as horrific as it starts out. If either of you feel particularly low, visit your GP who can support you with counselling.

              Spend time finding a decent solicitor and remembering ANYTHING than can help...but remember to take time out from it all and take your mind off of things with other activities. Come here anytime you need support.

              A million more questions will come to you after you are reunited with your partner. Give him a big hug when he gets home.

              Take care.
              "Be sure your sin will find you out"

              Numbers 32:23

              Comment


              • #8
                That's the sticky I was looking for...extremely useful and way more concise and factual than I've put it!
                "Be sure your sin will find you out"

                Numbers 32:23

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Faith View Post
                  That's the sticky I was looking for...extremely useful and way more concise and factual than I've put it!
                  However your reply was personalised towards Cluelessandconcerned
                  'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I don't suppose you know if he has his own solicitor there and not the duty one? I suggest that you look into getting one that specialises in this type of accusations. If you can give a county hopefully someone can give a name for a good one.
                    And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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                    • #11
                      I would give a county, if we could make our mind up on what it's actually called! I'm going to go with Teesside, as I think that might be the most well-known. Also known as Cleveland.

                      I'm currently trying to keep my little one entertained while juggling the phone, a house full of pets and washing up, and a plumber, so please forgive me if my replies are somewhat stilted at the moment, will get back to you all in more detail as and when i can.
                      I feel terribly rude for being so short when you have taken such care in your replies and they are evidently well thought-out.

                      Please know your replies mean the world to me right now.

                      xx

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                      • #12
                        http://www.davidgray.co.uk/brian-hegarty.htm

                        Had some direct dealings with this solicitor before I went with Chris Saltrese.
                        He seemed to know his stuff and has a track record of dealing with these kind of cases.
                        Based in Newcastle. Give him a call to see what if he fills you with any confidence.
                        "Be sure your sin will find you out"

                        Numbers 32:23

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          dont go with andrew foster and partners..........based in
                          redcar .. i can recommend avery good one in boro if you need ..bit closer for you

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Faith View Post
                            http://www.davidgray.co.uk/brian-hegarty.htm

                            Had some direct dealings with this solicitor before I went with Chris Saltrese.
                            He seemed to know his stuff and has a track record of dealing with these kind of cases.
                            Based in Newcastle. Give him a call to see what if he fills you with any confidence.
                            Thankyou, i've taken down his details and will make an enquiry, though i'm not sure how much I can do personally, but it's good to have a few ideas for when he's released, right?
                            x

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by gem View Post
                              dont go with andrew foster and partners..........based in
                              redcar .. i can recommend avery good one in boro if you need ..bit closer for you
                              That would be much appreciated if you could, Boro is closer, yes.
                              x

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