Loved one accused of rape

[fighter]

my line would be "no good deed goes unpunished". My partner fed, clothe and spoiled the accuser and he is punished for this

[Denise]

I provided meals and comfort for one of them but dedicated a lot of time for the other one in the hope she didn't turn out like no 1 xx

[Browneyedgirl]

At the drop of a hat, My husband and I helped them financially, fetching and carrying at a moments notice and gave them advice and guidance. Look where it got us.

[Denise]

It's all just so unfair browneyedgirl it really is xx

[Browneyedgirl]

Hi Denise
I just thought I would ask how you are doing. I'm assuming you haven't heard anything yet? We haven't heard anything and it's really doing my head in now. Some days I'm ok and others I just cry. I just wanted to let you know I am thinking about you.
XX

[Denise]

Hi Browneyedgirl

Still no news, I've just written on Izzys thread but no real update

It's been almost 5 months now this started, sooo many days , too many to count that I've felt so stressed and angry and desperate

I'm sorry you're still waiting too
I wonder what the statistics are that people come out of these situations sane ?
I'd bet it's a low figure
Thankyou for your post , it means a lot
Here's to a good outcome for all of us eh ? Xx

[Browneyedgirl]

It’s good to hear from you Denise.
I don’t imagine there are many people who come through such an ordeal without being affected one way or another. Whether it’s their relationship/marriage, job, health, extended family……the list goes on doesn’t it? The months seem like years though don’t they? It’s been 4 months so far for us and it feels like it’s a lifetime. Sometimes it’s difficult to even remember what life was like before all this. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s all their (the accuser’s) doing as sometimes I find myself directing my anger at OH. I just wish both of us had some news Denise, even if it wasn’t the outcome we want, at least we would know what we are up against.
xx

[fighter]

hugs to you browneyed and denise! I really hope you get the decision soon! I hope you dont have to wait for longer. My partner and I waited for 10 months and then he was charged. You are right browneyed, whatever the decision is, better to get it soon so you dont waste a lot of time hanging in limbo.

Try to keep busy or get a normal routine; when my partner got charged after 10 months. I regretted all the time I wasted on worrying! I know it is hard not to worry; but I could have been more productive with my work; and do some projects so I dont feel like the accuser has taken so much from us; but you know we are only human But that is something I would say to somebody waiting for decision, fight worrying for now, you cannot do anything at this point, when the decision comes give it all your time and effort! Fight like you are fighting for your life. Reserve your energy and time for the fight.

I know am sounding too positive, but really I was a mess those times too. Sending you strength and courage vibes!

[Faith]

Denise and Browneyedgirl, you sound like very strong and positive people but, as Fighter says, there is no getting away from the fact that inside, it doesn't always feel like that.
Glad you are getting so much support from eachother, that's what this place is all about.

And fighter, to go bak to your post about good deeds being punished...I can relate to that. We did the same things for our accuser that you did...even more a kick in the teeth that she would do this to us after all the support we gave her

[Browneyedgirl]

Faith and Fighter, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. Having read lots of threads and advice on this forum, my OH and I have not wasted a moment collating evidence and information while we wait for a CPS decision. I got him to talk me through his interview while I typed out each question as he remembered it. I then typed what his response was during the interview. Then together, we noted down other observations and evidence which contradicts what the accuser’s say. We are ready to fight this.

I can not tell you how much strength and support this forum has given me, particularly during the low points (and there are loads). I’m not sure how I will cope if he have to wait another 4 months (that must have been hell to wait 10 months) but I am even more determined that those money grabbing, selfish so and so’s are not going to get the better of us.

xx

[Faith]

We are the same browneyedgirl. Bail date in under two weeks. We have a big fat folder full of every documentation we can think of that is even slightly relevant.

Bring it on!!

[fighter]

I’m not sure how I will cope if he have to wait another 4 months (that must have been hell to wait 10 months)

xx

it is hell; but your mind and body cannot take so much hell that after some time you got numbed and we forgot about it for some days. The hard part is always the week when he has to go to the police station for rebail. Two to three days before and after each bail date all anger and frustration comes up again. We are thankful he was not suspended from work; and I have work and studies. These aspects of our life was affected but at the same time helped us cope.

I really wish for everyone to get the decision as soon as possible; because if it is charge (hope not!) it would be good to know it now. See, between being charged and the trial dates of my partner is six months!!! If we have been charged just within four months of the arrest we could have been way over this by now. But on second thought, I was thankful that he was charged much later because I managed to finish my studies. I think things happen for a reason! This happening to us has only made my faith stronger... that someone is looking out for us.

Hang in there browneyed, faith and Denise... sometimes the long wait has reasons behind it.. only we will know later!

[Denise]

Hi everyone

Got a confirmation this morning that there's still no news, CPS still deciding

But I wanted to write something positive for once

My son got his puppy yesterday and he's smiling again

I can't fix his situation. I'm powerless on that one
But to know we've contributed to something that's making him happy and giving him a reason to live each day is a great feeling

I refuse to let the scallywag accusers wreck this moment for us

Hope everyone is as well as can be considering everything we are all going through

Thinking of you all

Xx

[RFLH]

good news about the puppy - we need more details!

[Faith]

Wonderful!
My pussy cats get me through a lot of bad times!!!