Advice for my son falsely accused of rape

[mrsray]

I feel like i might loose my mind

this is my worst nightmare. It has just begun. My son is not a horrible villan that the police are trying to make him and see him as. What i find even more apauling is that they are not our freinds. the police try to trick and lie to get what they want from families. i will never trust a policeman ever as long as Live and I know i am not alone.

[kazzarat]

mrsray

I feel exactly the same as you about them, we live in a small town and they are still victimising him and looking down there noses, it dosnt help that the accuser is the neice of the policeman that came to arrest him, which i still think is not right.

I have lost all faith in the system and i will never regain it. They have treated him like an animal.

I am now getting very angry about the whole thing and how these girls can just do this so willy nilly and not think about the consequences to the boy or there family.

My son is trying so hard to remain strong but i know he is struggling, i am hoping we will get through this in one piece because right now i cant say we will.

[edinguy]

Parents, Partners and friends..

I just want all the people who's son, boyfriend, husband or friend is going through this to know that if it were no for all of you then the situatian we are in would be unlivable.

I can tell just by the look of my family the toll this is all taking on them and there is not a night that goes by that I don't hate myself for doing this to them all. I know they do not blame me and would want me to feel like that but I think I like most do feel this and it's punishing to say the least.

The police do not care about the accused and treat us like monsters even although they do not know a single thing about us. They told me there was 2 sides toe very story but as soon as the interview was underway it was clear they had no interest in my side of events...

I would not wish the pain I and my family (and you guys) are going through on anyone in the world, will I ever be the same person as before? I very much doubt it.

[mrsray]

I thank god for all of you out there

Thanks to all for being there for each other, It helps just a little. We must all pray for gods help for all of us. I agree with you, I too will never be the same person after this, I dont think my son will either.

[mrsray]

I too would never wish this on anyone

[our entire home feels like a prison. I wait everyday for the other shoe to drop. Every car door that shuts I run to the window. I dont want to see or talk to my freinds. I feel so alone and isolated. I hate this. Not crying everyday seems impossible. Thank you all for being here.

[edinguy]

It's strange to think others out there are feeling the exact same way you are but reading these forums you realise you are not alone. For the weeks after my interview I just sat at the window and watched for the police to come and take me away again, every day at work whenever I heard the door I would panic.

A phone ringing, door bell ringing or car door slamming just seems to put me on alert and im in a state of shock. Stresses and terrified are not enough to describe it, finding grey hairs and only in my early 20's. It's bad enough all this happening to me but knowing my family and girlfriend are going through it too makes it so so much worse!

What other option do have than to stay strong for each other and try to get on with our lives?

[mrsray]

Amen

You are right, there a small amount of releif, knowing you alone do not have these feelings of sheer terror. I am in a constant state of panic and panic attacks. I wonder everyday how much longer I can go on like this before I crack.

[edinguy]

'I wonder everyday how much longer I can go on like this before I crack.'

You have always got another day in you, thats what to tell yourself when feeling at the brink.

If you were my mother I would tell you that if you keep it together and get through whatever it is we are going to go through then I will do the same. I try to think of the good times and joy I felt before this and remind myself no matter what be it next week or 9 years down the line I WILL get that back.

Never give up because there is always light at the end of the tunnel no matter how far down it may be.

[mrsray]

Thank You

I try each minute. Thank you so much for your contact and your supoprt and kind words, I prey for you too that you may get through your hard time too.

[kazzarat]

Yoy have to keep going

Hi you have got to try to stay strong for yours and your sons sake, it is so hard but it does get a little easier, we are 11 months in and things are moving now its still so very hard but i have to try to remain strong for my own sanity.
Your friends will be supportive mine have, its the most difficult thing in the world to tell anybody what has happened, but your friends will stand by you. Mine have been great and all the people that know and care about my son and me are there for us.

We are now at the angry stage and we are dying to prove this girl is fabricating the whole thing. We will have our days in court and we will hopefully get the outcome we want, i cant think of anything else right now we have to be positive.
Keep in touch and we can all help each other.
It is a terrible situation to be in but like edinguy said its good to know your not alone in all of this mess. Take care and try to have a good day.

[Saffron]

Ithe accuser is the neice of the policeman that came to arrest him, which i still think is not right.

I don't think that is right at all, and is certain to have affected that policeman's judgement. Does your solicitor know this? If not you MUST tell him/her of the family connection. It might help a great deal.

[kazzarat]

I agree

Hi yes our soliciter is aware of this, we are just at the stage now where we are collecting our evidence.
The policeman stood at my front door with a tazer gun while 3 of them ran upstairs to arrest him it was ridiculous, prior to this the accused's farther came to my house threatning me and my son and the same policeman came to remove him from my house, anybody else would of been arrested for threatning behaviour.
We will be bringing this up in court as it is all wrong. Thanks for your reply.

[mrsray]

trying desparetly

Itis hard to stay strong when your son is being tried on the internet by her freinds.
we found a fabricated face book last nite in his name with pics of him with rapist written all over, How do i live through how does my son, through this torment.

[kazzarat]

it is so hard

Maybe you need to keep a copy of these things as you never know if they may be of use. I know its hard and we have had a similar thing, i couldnt even go to the local supermarket without nearly having a panic attack. The gossip and the talking does die down after a while, you have to hold your head up and dont respond to any of it. You know your son is innocent and you have to channel all your energys into that. My son has lost 3 jobs because of this and the first one was his final year in his bricklaying career which he had worked really hard to achieve for 2 years prior to this, it broke my heart, but we are keeping strong.
This girl will have her comeuppance one day and i hope i will be around to see that.
When and if he is proved innocent i figure she will then feel some of what we have been feeling when everbody realises she is not a victim and just some silly little girl that has nearly ruined a lot of lives, hope this helps.

[mrsray]

Its just not fair

I know that one too. I go far away from my area to go shopping now. Her father is the one that cant beleive his little girl would have sex. He is relentlessly going after the police to press charges. My faith in people becomes dimmer.