Still suffering traua, I'm new but need support. Would appreciate if there are any hotlines or advice websites etc?

[donkey123]

I got falsely accused of spiking a girls a drink and raping her last year. This happened last year and got dealt with immediately and the case didn't proceed further because the officers could see through her lies and contradictions. I don't have to go into detail because it is water under the bridge now. What I will say despite being somewhat lucky because it didn't go further, is that the emotional and psychological impact for me has been horrendous. I feel isolated and helpless because hardly anyone knows the full extent of it including my parents and friends. When it emerged that the shameless cow had gone and lied so callously to the police, it tore me up inside. I know I shouldn't worry about it but there is a constant fear of something like this re-emerging. I have lost my appetitie, become fatigued and depressed. I could be a hypochondriac because I have the constant fear that I am seriously ill and I've even had a blood test. Yeah I feel sorry for myself. Things I used to care about I don't anymore and I have become so cynical and frustrated. I was looking forward to a career in the Royal Marines but that is in tatters now because my confidence has all but been destroyed. I can't begin to tell you how paranoid I feel. I used to feel sorry for her because she clearly has issues to come forward to the Police like she did and lie about me but I know she is an evil attention seeking C*** and I will never forgive her for what she put me through and my experience taught me to keep an open mind about 'so called' rapists and paedophiles because to be honest anyone of the accused might well have been in my situation which was innocent. I had no support but I'm sure its out there. I seriosuly need some reassurance to get my life on track!

[RFLH]

Hi, what you are feeling is completely normal.

This is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone and it takes a great deal of time to come to terms with.

Have you asked your GP to put you forward for counselling?

[donkey123]

I am too proud to do that to be honest and If it went on record that I was mentally unstable then I don't want it to harm my future job prospects! Cheers for the advice though I think I will have to look into something like that.

Regards, Donkey x

[LS]

Hi Donkey, welcome to the site. Unfortunately there are many of us in that same boat, some convicted, some not so. The emotions are all there and all the same.
As far as I know there are few advice sites other than this one, and PAFAA, and I'm not aware of any advice lines. Like most in this situation, I found going to the GP and being referred for counselling and/or antidepressants is about the only thing there is.
Sadly, no one in a position of power seems to give a toss about how we feel and we are a forgotten chunk of the population.
I'm sorry I can't give you more help, but I was looking for exactly the same things before I found here.

[RFLH]

There's no shame in asking for help if you need it - it's an illness the same as any other.

Most of us on here end up going! It's a lot better to admit you need help rather then try and cope on your own and failing dismally making your mental health a lot worse.

Use this place as therapy, write it down and talk it out.

[Casehardened]

Anger is a natural phase but self-destroying if held on to for too long.

If you don't want to ask for help (and I can relate to that) try thinking about what might have happened if the police hadn't seen through her.

This may lead you on to appreciating the freedom to go for a walk when you want, have a drink when you want, or enjoy quiet solitude when you want.

Focus on little bits of life, one step at a time, if the bigger picture is too depressing.

[new hope]

Hello donkey,

I just wanted to say hello and I understand everything that you are feeling because I feel exactly the same way and I was as you were happy outgoing and had love for everyone, now its all been replaced with paranoia and doubt and lack of interest in things that I once loved, my case was nfa,d about 2 months ago and I thought that once I heard that news I would feel better about the whole thing but ive learnt that isnt the case, Im constantly depressed I gave up college because I could not concentrate on anything else at the time I was worried sick, my accuser is still out partying every weekend and going to drug parties and I have to build myself up to even leaving the house for an hour, its horrible, anyway I found this site to meet people in similar situations for advise and freindship, and have found it to be very good at least you get to write what you are feeling and talk to other people about it, we all live in hope for the future!

[RFLH]

I'm pleased you're finding this place useful, keep posting.

[0990]

i understand your feelings , but im taking things slowly , if i let this get the better of me then the woman who made the false accusation wins .
things could have been a whole lot worse , having seen other posts , this thought keeps me going .

[Constant]

I would like to add my penny in - I feel the same also - feel bad looking at women, feel like I'll never be able to trust again - go on a bit of self destruct at times - almost like I deserve it then realise that its not my fault.

Stay healthy and strong - think positive and I swear where I can I will support all those wrongly accused - anything i can add or offer as advice what happens to me I will post - if this is proven enough then maybe just maybe the world will change.

[Saffron]

Hi Donkey and welcome.

As others have said, anger is a very destructive emotion. I still feel it, but refuse to let it hurt me. (apart from the occasional meltdown, as others will bear out!)

Perhaps you could try writing it all down on paper and then burning it. This is a symbolic action that survivors of great trauma often use. It might help or might not. Worth a try though? Also I echo what others have said - asking for medical help is nothing to be ashamed of. I went to see my GP and she was very understanding, referred me to a kind cousellor. When R was first accused and was self-harming, I marched him to the GP as well. He was prescribed anti-depressants. He was also referred to a counsellor - didn't find it helpful, but I did.

If you need help and don't ask for it, you could end up more dcamaged than you already feel.

The other thing that keeps me sane is this site. If I can help and support others in a similar situation, then some good has come of it all.

I wish you peace.

[RFLH]

well done constant - the more you put in - the more you get out.

[Constant]

You know prior to being falsely accused I never considered the pain and torment that happened - I'm not the most charitable of people - but wow when it happens to you - it really is a wake up call. I have just over a week before I return for Bail - all plob said was that they should have a way forward by this date last time we spoke - I am seeing my newly appointed legal people next week and will inform what I can.

Travestity is not a word used lightly - stay strong - "ITS NOT YOUR FAULT"

[witsend]

Hi there. As you can tell, nearly all of the people who post on here are or have felt the way you do. If you feel you can't speak to your family or GP ring the Samaritans, sorry to harp on folks, but I found them invaluable when we were going through the hell of our son being falsely accused. You can be honest and upfront with them, they are impartial and non judgemental. Also remember to keep coming back here.

[LS]

sorry to harp on folks

Don't ever feel you're "harping on." What you think is harping on might just save one of us from doing something permanent. People have cracked under the strain, so the best we can do is look out for each other, and if this means re-emphasising counselling, GPs, Samaritans then that's great.
The worst thing any of us can do is to not say something in case we feel we're going on. Well done Witsend.