Sleepwalking anal rape ! What.

[MaybeBoo]

Greetings,

My son (15) has been accused by his cousin (16) of analy raping her whilst sleepwalking.
He has no history of sleepwalking or rape.
No one saw it (except her)
No one heard it (despite 6 people in a small house with her mother next door 6 to 8 ft away) and him having a 'big tool'.
He doesn't remember any of it and doesn't believe it.
He claims to be a virgin - as does she - is this verifiable?
She has a sore anus 7 weeks later (when this 'comes out' and it's too late for DNA) so something has certainly happened to her.

She has kept it secret to 'protect us all' until it slipped out whilst drunk -
but did tell her doctor and also asked for an std and pregnancy test and told an older male, a confidant that she was hoping to date about it (apparently it all got out of hand with him and he used her as a fun box.)
Her mother believes her. I cannot, as there are too many inconsistencies and backtracks however, she is a social worker and justifies all these inconsistencies as trivia.
This is a very simplified version - there is more, but I have been up for 24 hrs now - I cannot sleep or eat, whilst the accusors went out for curry night (I must be very odd ) but writing it all down was too confusing, even for me.
What are my options here, are there any 'experts' out there please?
I am related to both and so the normal 'rules of engagement' cannot apply.
Obviously something terrible has happened here.

Bizarre is an incredible understatement.

Thank you.

[Saffron]

How very strange that no-one heard or saw anything.
Is it your son who is supposed to have been sleepwalking, or the accuser?
Has the accuser told the police? Has your son been arrested?
This information is very important before you can be advised on the best course of action.
Let us know and we will do our best to help.
Hugs x

[Rights Fighter]

I find it difficult to believe that somebody who is asleep can perform an act of sodomy without waking up!!!

It sounds very far fetched to me!

As Saffron says, without putting any identifiable information on here, let us know if the police are involved and if they are, whether he's been charged.

[RFLH]

I know in the last couple of years there had been a few trials where its been proved that there is such a phenomenon and the accused has been found not guilty - but that was their defence. I've not come across one the other way round.



Sleepwalking man cleared of rape

A man accused of three counts of rape has been cleared by a jury because he was sleepwalking.
James Bilton, 22, told York Crown Court that he could not remember the alleged attack at his flat on Hope Street, York, and must have been sleepwalking.
Mr Bilton told police he had walked in his sleep since the age of 13.
A sleep expert said Mr Bilton was one of only 1-2.5% of the adult population who suffered from the condition. Mr Bilton had denied all three charges.
During the trial, the court heard the victim knew Mr Bilton and had slept in his bed after a night out, while Mr Bilton slept on the sofa.
'Completely oblivious'
Later, the 22-year-old, who can not be named, claimed she woke to find her trousers had been taken off and Mr Bilton was assaulting her.
She denied consenting to sex.
Mr Bilton said he could only remember waking up after sticking to the leather sofa and was "completely oblivious" to what had allegedly happened, the court heard.
But he said he had a history of sleepwalking which ran in the family.
Sleep expert Dr Ishaad Ebrahim said people who are sleepwalking can carry out actions that they do when awake.
Sexsomnia diagnosis
And of the 1-2.5% of the adult population who suffer from the condition, 4% carry out sexual behaviour.
Mr Bilton's acquittal follows a similar case in Canada last month when Jan Luedecke, 33, was cleared of raping a woman after a judge ruled he was asleep at the time of the attack.
Mr Luedecke and the woman had gone to a party in 2003 where the woman fell asleep on the couch. When she woke, she said she found him having sex with her. He was charged with sexual assault but during his trial sleep experts testified that he suffered from sexsomnia - when a person has sex while they are still asleep.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/n...re/4543340.stm

[Rights Fighter]

I find it incredible that he is supposed to have been asleep while penetrating her anus - he would woken up at the point. People wake up when they are being lightly shaken. Very bizarre!

[MaybeBoo]

Answer to Saffron

Yes, isn't it. In fact I find it totally implausible that such an outrageous act could have taken place without any noise whatsoever.
It is my son, who the girl says was sleepwalking. (This other man told her to 'look it up on the internet', and I think it was chosen as a 'safe' option, as apparently you cannot be convicted for an act you are not aware of - I think she is naive enough to mean him no ' real harm, but is covering up a guilty 'secret' of her own - ( see http://www.theforensicexaminer.com/archive/spring09/15/ )
We are staying at their house following ours burning down (another involved story!) and have nowhere to go.

Both my sister and I wish to get to the truth, however, now that 7 weeks has elapsed, that may be very difficult, as she obviously believes her daughter implicitly and does not want to subject her to further trauma. i.e. actually being questioned on the validity of her claims, she is of the opinion that it is normal for one to backtrack, tweedle, change story etc, as young girls are bad witnesses - ' therefore rapists get off in court'.
I cannot approach it as I would anyone else. The police have not yet been informed (even though I suggested they were, as I am desperate to prove his innocence) but proving innocence is not their remit, gaining convictions is.
I am now truly frightened, as 12 years ago our lives were disrupted in a similar way by a 'story' from this same girl, then 4. That was not sexual in nature and was directed at me, but was enough to cause a serious family rift for 3 years and me to move house. All on a lie, albeit an innocent enough one, but a lioness defending her cub cannot be reasoned with, even though said lioness is usually pretty logical.

Just to highlight how precarious my situation in logic; Last night, after the curry, they went to an entertainments park where the act was an illusionist.
This girl was picked as one of the 7 'volunteers' who had to draw either a counter or not from a black bag (there were 3 in it) and then say if they had one or not. They could lie or tell the truth and he would then pronounce whether or not they were lying or telling the truth and tell them if they had a counter. Apparently he said to her ' If asked a direct question, you cannot lie.' This counted with her as EVIDENCE that her daughter is truthful and that this is real. I think she is covering up someone else's deed (I certainly think something has happened to her) but it cannot be as presented, it does not make sense. I need to 'gently' find the truth.
The doctor said as she told about it after her 16th birthday (although it allegedly happened before) the authourities would not automatically be involved unless she wished, and at the moment, she doesn't. I think my sister would like me to roll over, accept that my son is a rapist and take him for 'help', then it will be put away for the next time it is taken out as a 'fact'. I am not willing to do this (I might were it me - but this is a boy at the start of his life who is now being traumatised far more than she realises and he thinks it is just a vindictive plot from a soap opera, (for which Estrella has had excellent trainin from Miss Haversham)). It is quite amazing the hand life can deal, just when you thought it couldn't get worse, it invariably does. I was just contemplating writing the wholly unbelievable story of my life to this point when this knocked us for six!.

I need some good advice for possible courses that will limit the damage to both of them!
Thanks so much for your time and effort.

[nervous wreck]

I find it incredible that he is supposed to have been asleep while penetrating her anus - he would woken up at the point. People wake up when they are being lightly shaken. Very bizarre!

Yea....this almost sounds impossible. And anal sex isn't like vaginal...it takes work.

If he hasn't been charged. I would keep faith. If he has, I would still keep faith. I can't think of a jury in the world who would convict a young man for something like this under said circumstances.

[mark]

very strange story,too unbelievable to imagine this could possibly have happend.
i wouldnt wory too much about this tbh.

[MaybeBoo]

Thanks NW,
To be honest, a conviction is not what really worries me. If it went to court and I have to pull out all the stops, one of them will be ruined.
The false accusation against my son, who is already a shy young man with dreams, who lost his Father not that long ago, is already taking its toll. At the moment he is angry, confused and getting adrenaline rushes, not being cleared, does worry me, for 2 reasons.
The girl is my niece - for her to get away with this (if she is 'at it' ) will be devastating to her for the rest of her life, for whatever reason she has done it. Whether spite, fear, guilt, whatever. I do know that one month before this her mother made it clear that she would never throw us out, under any circumstances - she has just achieved that - we have understandably been asked to leave. To 'win' if it is a game will be ' bad ' for her. If it is not a game, it is a sickness, just as bad but not as 'evil'. If that is the answer, she needs help.
If justice does not out, whoever is the innocent party will be scarred for life - that is my greatest worry. Should my son ever achieve his aim of 'ruling the world' this would stop him from doing so legitimately and as it is recorded at the doctors, already is a matter of record in any future. (Not necessarily with current legislation but who knows where we are going!)
I will indeed keep the faith. Thanks.

[mark]

Iwould not wory about this affecting your son long term,it will not do that provided he gets the truth from your niece.i have no doubt he will bounce back a stronger young man for going through this.(he shouldnt have to i agree fully)
it was my own niece that falsley accused me,and like your son i HAVE NO IDEA WHY, i loved her as one of my own children for nearly 17 years and she accused me of a dreadfull crime rape.
i have gone through all the emotions one would think didnt exist,depression,fear,shame,hatred, etc etc etc all this and like your son i did nothing.
BUT as time is going on (now 16 months) these fears are residing into nothing,and i am getting stronger as will your son.
you must concentrate on getting the truth by any means imo, then your son will be fine.time is a great healer even with such dreadfull allegations. he will bounce back.. mark x

[downtrodden]

It sounds to me like she is using him as a cover for something someone else has done to her. She is obviously ashamed about what has happened, but really needs to find someone to confide in so she can tell the truth.

[friday]

i am no expert on this topic and cant possibly say if this act would have been possible to do while sleepwalking but there have been a number of cases of sexsomnia where a man has raped a woman during sleep and it has been proved to be true by the accused being hooked up to EEGs and monitored over months. if your son has no history of sleepwalking it seems unlikely they would take this route.
although most people would expect a woman to wake up this is not always true. some people sleep very deeply (ive slept through a fire alarm before!)

the court will be looking to prove it happened "beyond reasonable doubt" so the fact their is no dna makes this more difficult. as does the fact she didnt awake when the act took place (and if she was a virgin anal sex would not have been the most comfortable thing so you would expect the pain to awake her). of course you need to expect the worst so you can be as prepared as possible.

i hope everything works out for you and your son
x

[Rights Fighter]

Unless I have missed something (it's likely considering I have just moved) the girl said she was anally raped so this would have no bearing on her virginal status.

[Saffron]

Just to clarify -

The girl is claiming she was raped anally by the boy. She alleges the boy was sleepwalking and she was conscious. The police have not yet been informed, and the boy has not been arrested or charged, so there is not a court case on the horizon as yet.
I just thought I ought to point this out in case Maybeeboo thought we weren't listening to her.

Maybeeboo, if the police haven't been informed yet, PLEASE do not go to them yourself. They will be looking for evidence that the crime has occurred, not evidence that it hasn't. Informing the police will certainly result in the arrest of your son, and wheels of the Law will start their inexorable roll!

Your son will not be affected by the girl having gone to the doctors. It will be on her medical record, but it shouldn't be on his. Something certainly seems to be troubling your niece - as Downtrodden said, maybe something has happened to her, and she is using this as cover whilst desperately needing to confide in someone. Perhaps counselling might help her?

There is something very strange about this accusation.
1) Being anally raped is (i am almost certain!) incredibly physically painful, and the victim (unless she was drugged or something) would most certainly scream, particularly if she is a young girl. That no-one in a small household should hear this is verging on unbelievable.
2) Your son has no history of sleepwalking. Somnambulism is a recognised medical condition, but the majority of those who suffer from it have done so since childhood. I have always been a sporadic sleepwalker, usually in times of stress, and my husband usually takes me by the arm to guide me back to bed. Even just taking my arm brings me to a state of semi-consciousness. That someone who has never been a somnambulist could manage, while asleep, to summon the physical exertion required to force anal sex on another is highly unlikely.
3) In the cases of sexsomnia that I have heard of before, the victims have no idea that their attacker is asleep. Most somnambulists walk around with their eyes open - that is how they don't bump into things - so they look, to all intents and purposes, as though they are awake. It can be quite spooky, my husband says! So how does your niece *know* that he was asleep?

From what you say, I agree that your niece seems to have taken the "safest" option in her accusation. The question is why?

In terms of what to do next, I suggest that you write down everything you can remember about the alleged incident - get your son (if he is up to it emotionally) to do the same. Write clearly, not emotively. Make copies, and keep them safe. Please do not go to the police. It may be worth taking your son to the GP and asking for a referral to a counselling service. I would also recommend that your niece's mother does the same with her daughter.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

[Saffron]

Sorry, I have just thought of something else. Forgive me if I ask lots of questions, I don't want to alarm you! I am just trying to help you outline the inconsistencies and improbabilities of the accusation.

My understanding is that she claims to be a vaginal virgin.
She asked her doc for a pregnancy test. Why? If she is 16 she must know that you cannot get pregnant from anal sex. I can understand her asking for an STD test, but the pregnancy test request completely baffles me.

You said in your initial post that 7 weeks after the alleged rape she was complaining of a sore anus. I am not an expert, but 7 weeks seems to be a long time to be suffering from the effects - if it is still painful 7 weeks later, she must have sustained some pretty severe damage, which I am guessing would have required immediate medical/surgical attention. Without wishing to be too graphic, if it still hurts 7 weeks later, she must have not been able to do some basic bodily functions for quite some time.

Could she have had consensual sex with someone, but then got afraid of being pregnant and decided to blame your son? Although I am still puzzled by her request for a pregnancy test if she is certain the penetration was anal. You say she had a "confidante" - an older male who "used her as a 'fun box'" (which I am assuming means she had sex with him, but he saw it as just a bit of fun - what a nice bloke!).......Yet she claims to be a virgin....unless of course, she didn't have vaginal sex with him, only anal...(which could explain a few things). She told this older male about the alleged rape, and he was unsympathetic and told her to look it up on the internet (Lovely to know he supported her so well!)...Look what up on the internet? Somnambulism? or anal rape?

My feelings (and they are only feelings, based on the very few details we have) is that if anyone needs to be investigated, it is this "older male". He is the one who sounds dodgy to me, unless I have completely misread your posts.

Again, sorry if I am asking too many questions. Just trying to help!

Saffron x