Regretting my decision to report

[MIS34]

Hi there,

I was wondering if anyone would be able to advise me on a massive problem I have at the moment. My ex partner sexually, physically and mentally abused me in a very violent way over the six years of our relationship. I reported it to the police after finally escaping the situation and he was bailed with strict conditions. I am now deeply regretting the decision to report it. I'm still very much in love with him and while I thought reporting it would bring closure and help me to move on, in fact it has done the opposite and dragged me into a very deep depression.

I desperately want to retract the statement, although they have texts which provide some evidence of his violence. I want to put this in the past, move on with my life and get the help I need without being dragged through the emotional turmoil of the legal process. A trial date has been set for eight months away and I really don't feel like I can make it to that point. It's getting to a point in which I'm spending all day crying and struggling to get out of bed. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and I entered this process looking for a form of closure and support but instead it's seemed to cause more emotional distress and constant pain and reminders of everything I had to go through.

I was wondering if anyone can advise me on what my options may be or if there's anything I can do to get out of this whole mess and move forward with my life. I can't cope with this whole process and if anyone has any advice on how to handle it in terms of the police and legal system and if I do have any options? (UK police, law etc.)

I know for the sake of others he should be prosecuted and I understand that but I cannot stress how desperately I want this all to end and I want to try to do what's best for me for the first time in so long.

Sorry for the essay but just wanted to explain the situation so any advice possible can be accurate.

Thank you so much

[jittery]

hi

Hi there,

I was wondering if anyone would be able to advise me on a massive problem I have at the moment. My ex partner sexually, physically and mentally abused me in a very violent way over the six years of our relationship. I reported it to the police after finally escaping the situation and he was bailed with strict conditions. I am now deeply regretting the decision to report it. I'm still very much in love with him and while I thought reporting it would bring closure and help me to move on, in fact it has done the opposite and dragged me into a very deep depression.

I desperately want to retract the statement, although they have texts which provide some evidence of his violence. I want to put this in the past, move on with my life and get the help I need without being dragged through the emotional turmoil of the legal process. A trial date has been set for eight months away and I really don't feel like I can make it to that point. It's getting to a point in which I'm spending all day crying and struggling to get out of bed. I've been diagnosed with PTSD and I entered this process looking for a form of closure and support but instead it's seemed to cause more emotional distress and constant pain and reminders of everything I had to go through.

I was wondering if anyone can advise me on what my options may be or if there's anything I can do to get out of this whole mess and move forward with my life. I can't cope with this whole process and if anyone has any advice on how to handle it in terms of the police and legal system and if I do have any options? (UK police, law etc.)

I know for the sake of others he should be prosecuted and I understand that but I cannot stress how desperately I want this all to end and I want to try to do what's best for me for the first time in so long.

Sorry for the essay but just wanted to explain the situation so any advice possible can be accurate.

Thank you so much

Hi, I'm no expert, but I THINK I have read that you can retract your statement and no action will be taken against you . The police would have to satisfy themselves that you have not been forced into it by your ex though.
I THINK I've read that they may push ahead with the case even if you do retract your statement.
I've no idea what PTSD is, but maybe you could use that as a reason?
Either way the best thing to do is to get the right advice. Do you feel up to goin g to the police yourself- or maybe you could go to citizens advice, I'm sure they'll have a solicitor you can talk to.

[MIS34]

Hello!

Firstly, thank you for your advice.

I am seeing a counsellor tomorrow who specialises in helping people through the legal process so that's a good first step I think. If not the Citizens Advice Bureau will probably be a good idea and something I wouldn't have thought about before. Feeling a bit more hopeful after reading your comment so thank you again.

In case you were interested PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder.

[jittery]

hi

Firstly, thank you for your advice.

I am seeing a counsellor tomorrow who specialises in helping people through the legal process so that's a good first step I think. If not the Citizens Advice Bureau will probably be a good idea and something I wouldn't have thought about before. Feeling a bit more hopeful after reading your comment so thank you again.

In case you were interested PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder.

No problem Course I'm interested, I wouldn't have asked otherwise, glad I've helped, good luck !

[endurance]

Hi MIS34, as a new member I have just come across this post and hope you are feeling a bit better. Having gone thru much the same as you I know how you are feeling - these feelings will pass but it will take time and you will need to be your own best friend. There is nothing more terrible than having to leave someone you love for your own safety - I did it and it was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and even now I don't doubt that if I ever saw him again all he would need to do would be to smile and I would just go back willingly. I thought I would never escape the relationship but I did. I became so afraid that he would actually kill me that I was more afraid of dying than I was of him. You said you wanted to retract the statement - did you have any problems with that?