Soacial services and solicitors

[Yorkster]

Don't know how to start this debate so here goes .

When my wife got me arrested the social services got involved and boy did they come in hard . Now I know that they have to look in to things but to stop a man seeing his kids is ridiculous . They never investigated my wife and only took her word for the things that was said . They told me to get a sol.

The sol I got at the end of august told me because I worked I would be a paying client so paid up front . With everything that was happening in my life I ended up been put on the sick by my doctor .the sol told me that as I was a paying client I wouldn't qualify for legal aid .this made me ill even more with the money worries . I am on sickness benifit now and it was backdated to September the 26 th

To cut a long story short he presented me with a bill at the end of November for £4200 on top of the £1600 I had already paid him and told me he couldn't represent me until I paid a chunk if not all of it off . When he represented me for the day in court for the family case we didn't really get anywhere . Supposed to get acces to my kids via a contact centre . That was in October . Still no contact .

Now I have had a section 47 done and a case review for child protection . Supposed to get a risk assessment done by the ss but only just got a social worker allocated yesterday , very slow on our case . now the chap who chaired the child protection review rang me the other day telling me he was making an official complaint to social services about there handling of our case and advised me to do the same so I did .

In the mean time I went to see another sol for advise and she has agreed to take my case on . Having read all the reports from social services and the child protection review she has now stated that she will be applying for legal aid for me so I can actually go for residency of my kids . I believe in my heart that after she read all the reports and everything I've told her about the false allegations as stated in my previous posts she does believe that it's my wife causing my children distress and not me .

She also stated that seeing the bill off my other sol does need looking in to and has said that after the children's court date in feb she will help me resolve that . She has over 30 years experience in child custody cases hopefully there is light at the end of my tunnel ..

[just married]

Yorkster, my situation is virtually the opposite to yours. I got a simple allegation to the police from my estranged young wife with whom I was desperately in love, after just 12 weeks of marriage. I had an NFA notice from the police 6 weeks after the allegation, and that was that. No children, just a short sharp and horrible shock. Sometimes, nine months later, I think I'm still in love with her.

I have so much sympathy for your situation, I can hardly bear it myself, the injustice of the system.

I just want to try to send some solidarity your way while you wait for more knowledgeable members to respond and hopefully help. I have read your posts, and wish you everything good...... if karma prevails, then your reward for this huge suffering will be equal.

someone told me yesterday to chill out and relax. Maybe try just for a minute or two if you can find them..

I'm sorry, I'm ashamed to live in a society and be a part of a system where this can happen.

JM

[Yorkster]

Well I was right all along about her seeing another woman all along . The woman she told me she met in march last year is the woman she is seeing now . I also have her name and facebook profile . All her family have added her on facebook too .

So all the time we was supposed to be making the marriage work she was plotting my departure from the house . Talk about a kick in the teeth and all I get from my sister is, get over it ,
How the hell do you get over 12 years and 4 kids and the accusations . Don't even know if I should tell the police about this my head is so messed up tonight

[just married]

As all here will advise you, yorkster, tell your solicitor, not the police. It's unlikely the police are interested in evidence in your favour. It's not their job.

Other married members have heartbreaking stories of betrayal. Premeditated, meticulously planned deception.

You will survive, and you will look back on this.

Two books, helped me;

Paul McKenna and Hugh Wilbourn's 'I can mend your broken heart'.
and
victimologist and psychotherapist Marie-France Hirigoyen's 'Stalking the Soul'.

I hope you got yourself registered for NHS counselling at your GP surgery? It's good to talk to a trained counsellor.

[Yorkster]

I've been seeing a councillor for a few weeks now and she even says I'm suffering stress and depression due to the way I've been treated by my wife's actions .
Every one I've spoken to about my life and what's happening have told me she's only done all this to get me out and her gf in . Why can't the police / cps/ social services see that too . It really is sickening

[just married]

Gad you're doing counselling. I found it a lifeline.... still do.... though I need to register with a new one, as my old counsellor retired due to nhs cuts.

I find it important to keep in touch with the GP, if only for the reason that it keeps permanent records, (with dates, etc) of what is happening to you.

Unfortunately, although it's plain as day to us, once an allegation of this nature is made to the police, they are obliged to follow it up.

the various agencies have to do their work.

"The state process relies on the stigma of an allegation, albeit false, to keep those victimized by it quiet , and to date are succeeding spectacularly to that end"'

While I was trying to reason in my head with my allegation, last year, I drove down to a favourite place by the Thames, near to me, parked the car, and started walking to somewhere I'd always meant to go to on foot. It was about 2 1/2 miles away from where I parked. I got there by walking, and thinking as I walked, for the first time ever, admired the scenery, then turned round, and walked back to where I started.
The next day, I did this again, twice. The next day, four times, then five....
I'd go out every day, walking 20 miles or so... same route....
By the autumn. I bought expensive running shoes, and started running it. By the end of the year, I'd covered 1.000 miles. It was good for my head, getting away from the house, and I also lost 2 1/2 stone, and got my body into pretty impressive nick, though I say so myself.

[Yorkster]

I started loosing so much weight was almost 17 stone am now just over 12 I joined a gym (can't afford it now ) walked up mount snowdon for help the heroes . I was supposed to do Ben Nevis for help the heroes in September but due to what was happening in my life couldn't do all the sponsoring . So because the hotel was booked in Scotland I did the walk anyway .

If some one had told me last January I would be walking up mountains I would have laughed in there faces . Later on in the year I do plan on walking the 3 Yorkshire peaks . Was going to be for help the heroes but if I can find a charity that do falsely accused I I'll do it for that .

[just married]

Brilliant....

good for you yorkster. Climbing mountains sounds pretty amazing. You must be so proud of the achievement. (as, I'm sure, are your family) . Fantastic stuff.... and the three peaks.... Now you've got me envious. (I'm in the city). I did read earlier that you'd lost weight.

While I was walking, I had all kinds of ideas about the london marathon and stuff, and representing FA... However, in the end, I walked just for me. Alone. For my head. For my discipline. For my self esteem.
Got me from over 12 stone or thereabouts down to 9 3/4... (I'm only a small feller- 5'6") I'm back up to 10 now, but want to keep it up and lose a bit more...

I've not been in a gym since I left school a long long time ago. Not really my kind of thing, only maybe that's just my prejudice.

Keep well

JM

[myhome]

Good job - yorkster - nothing better than the outdoors for emptying the head - even temporarily - of "stuff" you don't want there. I find the same when I'm climbing - and have even been seen there laughing recently - ooer - must be careful bout that one