Changes proposed to the forum - Feedback wanted!

[Saffron]

It's true that some people will come here to try and hide among the innocent, and similarly, some people come here to try and get affirmation that they were in fact raped when actually they had sex and then regretted it.

Asking people to register before they can post might go some way to alleviating this.

As for people posting in the wrong areas - could be easily solved by having a mod in regular presence to move the posts and explain why.

BTW, nice to see you back Jo!

[Rights Fighter]

Registering won't actually stop somebody who wants to make a false allegation neither will it stop the guilty wishing to hide among the innocent.

When applications are made to PAFAA they are required to give a landline number, their real name, reason why they are there and the county where they live. If people are not willing to give ALL of these details then they have something to hide. The info is only seen by me and is kept in complete confidence.

Those who genuinely want help will provide all of the info required (unless I happen to know them or know of them, as in RFLH and Saffron's respective cases.

[frankgallagherwasere]

To be honest with you RF sometimes (well for me) its just good to have someone who listens to what I actually have to say - my defence sure didn't and even went out of their way to make sure I wasnt heard properly !!

as anyone who is innocent/convicted knows the damage is done we have absolutly nothing to hide and to be honest only too happy to provide anyone who listens all the details info etc they should ever ask for.

[webmoo]

Hi guys and gals,

I'm still very reluctant to lock people out of any sections. However, I do feel that the text at the top of each section will need to be appraised better and updated a bit. The newer version of vbulletin has got functionality for announcements and notices with various criteria set. I've got a notice being displayed (at the top, saying about the need to register in the near future), and there is an announcement about this thread up on the whole board. I may be able to use these to better effect in the new setup. Have a look and see what you think.

Also, I plan to do a bit of a rules update too, so we can cover things like "You will not question the truth of someone else's posts" or something like that when I go through all that. I'll post a separate thread about rule changes and we can have a separate discussion about that soon. Let's do one thing at time though!

To answer some of your points about moderators - we have been doing some strong thinking about this. We are going to appoint some moderators, and will be asking people individually about this very soon. Until we've asked people and they have agreed or not I don't want to say much on this thread. Look out for a new thread advising of the new moderators soon.

Lastly, everyone seems pretty happy with the proposed changes to the layout, and to the disabling of unregistered users posting abilities. Thus, I plan to implement the changes next week.

The only sticking point seems to be the restriction of users to post in the two different sides, on which opinion seems to be divided. As this will take quite a bit of working out how to implement, I will not implement it at the start anyway. After all, this all started from me not having enough time to do what I wanted! I'll then look into this further if people really want it.

[Rights Fighter]

a) Introduce yourself and tell your story here!

This would appear to be an invitation to the surfer to explain why they are here - ie - I was raped - or - I was falsely accused - or - I have marital problems......

Maybe that title should be re-worded?

Just a thought

[littlemoo]

yep, that's part of the changes. we realised that too.
Jo

[isi]

Hi, Can I join in?

I think some changes to the forums would be a great idea.....

It would definately be nice to see a 'safe' forum for rape victims. A place where only rape victims can post.

I think rape victims come here for help and then due to the way some people reply it scares them off and they feel like they have nowhere else to turn to.

A rape victim is usually a woman.... falsley accused are usually men... as a women I find it quite hard to have a man reply to my posts.

I would like to feel able to post my thoughts and feelings without having to prove to people that that is really how I feel. or. that the situations I have found myself in being questionned because a fasley accused has been badly hurt and thinks that all rape accusations are false.... I have refrained from posting some of the things I would like to opst here due to the responses I have had

It is not nice knowing that somethings have happened to you only to be met with stoney cold falsey accused trying to drill it in your head that your situation is not that bad or it is the same for them as it is for you.... as that is so far from the truth.

So a separartate safe forum would be great!

[isi]

Just to add to my last post - it appears that all the other posts on this thread are from falsley accused so it may possibly reflect what I said about victims being scared away....? Just though I would point that out.

[RFLH]

It's a shame that you feel that way Isi, I agree that you shouldn't.

Having one foot in either camp I do know how you feel. Got the t shirt for both.

I think both sides will always feel aggrieved at the other, the feelings on both are bound to run high, it's the nature of the crime.

Don't be put off from posting, if someone posts somthing that you don't agree with ignore the best you can or reply pointing out why you don't agree with them. Hopefully they may eventually be able to understand why and how you feel the way you do.

[Saffron]

Hi Isi, nice to "see" you again!

I also think it is a shame you feel that way. The subjects of both rape and false allegations are very emotive, and are almost certain to provoke pretty heated debate. Personally I try to be very fair to both sides, but am aware that my status as "wife of falsely accused" may alarm/intimidate some survivors. I am also aware that there have been some fairly provocative posts made recently (on both sides), but I do think that can easily be resolved by appointing more Mods with the ability to edit/delete posts and warn/ban posters. I also think that a "trigger" warning at the top of each forum would be good...ie: "This could upset you! Don't read it unless you are sure you can handle it"

I would be reluctant to "lock out" anyone from either side - for example Friday has offered great support to some falsely accused, and RFLH has done the same for survivors. At the end of the day, there are victims on both sides, and what shouldn't happen is that either side gets involved in a slanging match about who has suffered most.

One of the best aspects of this site is the debate arena - we all agree that the justice system doesn't work, so let's talk about it from both perspectives and try to come up with a solution. I think we are far more likely to be taken seriously if we can present a balanced view.

By the way, some of the people posting on this thread have suffered both the horror of rape and the trauma of a false accusation, so it isn't necessarily one sided

Saffron x

[frankgallagherwasere]

I also think its great we can debate - were not against each other far from it and I would hate to think someone was upset posting about their assault simply cos there are some of us men about - you have my total and complete support.

I do think its right each has a safe place as well as open debate, I think its only right and that both are monitored for appropriate behavour. My only issue is that partners should be able to support understand and work out there problems not just run away - that happens too often in todays society.

ISI Friday and the rest should voice their opinions be heard and lets make this a place you feel is part of you !!

[Rights Fighter]

Isi

The person you are referring to in the falsely accused section does have a bad habit of bringing the conversation around to how he feels, much of the time, instead of concentrating on the subject matter of the thread.

As you know there are some of us in the falsely accused camp who also have one foot in yours.

I don't think this forum can be entirely private on both sides because of the cross-over - some of us are victims of sexual abuse ourselves. Some victims of sexual abuse are also victims of false allegations

It's a difficult discussion this one!

[isi]

Hi.
I was not referring to anyone inparticular... but now you mention it I know what you mean.

all I am saying is that I think that victims should be able to have that choice of a safe place or a 'mixed' forum... I know that if I had the choice I would post about my experiences in life and hopefully find people who can relate to my experiences and not force their opinions on me. I want to feel fully accepted.

I suppose this being one of the reasons I have hung around here. It is a disaster waiting to happen for victims.

Saffron = hello! I agree the thing in common is the law so maybe that could be an open forum.

I been through a few threads where f/a and r/v have come head to head and I think that is avoidable and uneccesary by implementing a safe forum. I also noticed afterwards the victims that were posting are no longer around...
f/a are more supported here and that is why more sticj around and the victims already vulnerable are scared away. and what is wrong with a separate place anyway?

For thise who have suffered on both sides surely they can try and understand a person who has only experienced one side and all the feelings that arise from that want to be i a female envirinment with others who have experienced similar things.

Any why would f/a really want to go into the rape forums? surely they would want to stay away.

I think that life is about options... a bit lije sex... it is an option and should not be forced.... give victims an option as freedom of choice is what is so important to a victim... I find it quite hard to digest that it is causing such a problem with such a suggestion....

[isi]

can I appologise for my typing as my son dismantled my laptop and I have not put it bacj together ptropery yet.

oh yes and I do lije a debate but not about my experiences and feelings as they are not debatable and would love a safe victim forum so offload in = even if I was on y own in there at first - it could worj

[RFLH]

isi - my typing is normally like that!

I can't think of a solution that can suit everyone. It's either share a forum or start separate ones.