any advice me on how to stop being paranoid please!

[tbryz]

<span style="font-family:Arial"><span style="font-family:Arial"><span style="font-family:Arial Black">Hi i would be really greatful if anyone can give me any advice, ive been with my husband for 15yrs married for 10 were both 32 with 3 great children, i have very strong evidence to believe my husband had an affair twice in our marriage although he strongly denied it, and i often "check up" on him by checking his mobile, and recently i found texts from a woman, he denies they happend but i saw them for myself...i know im getting obsest but its making me so miserable i cant trust him and im so so unhappy, he seems happy enough at home he always tells me he loves me and spoils me rotten, i get to the point now that i dont believe it when he tells me and i dont feel i can get close to him anymore, i just need to speak to someone who can help in anyway
Thanks</span></span></span>[size=2]

[diana_holbourn]

It&#39;s no wonder you feel you can&#39;t trust him if you&#39;re sure he&#39;s been lying to you. Have you told him how it makes you feel when you&#39;re sure you have strong evidence but he denies it? Have you told him about all the evidence you feel you have? Perhaps you could write it down in a list. Then you could try to work out if there&#39;s any other explanation for the things that happened, and if you can&#39;t think of any, challenge him with the list of things and ask him what else the things could mean if they don&#39;t mean he&#39;s had affairs, and see whether you can believe what he says. If you can&#39;t, you can put reasons to him as to why you don&#39;t believe him, and tell him how it makes you feel when you suspect you&#39;re being lied to.

That might help.