Wife Says its over and she doesnt love me,

[Guest]

Hi Well My wife has announced that she does not love me.
And we should split up.I already work away from home but this has come out of the blue.
We have a good physical relationship but she is now saying that she has just been doing it to keep up the pretence.
I have been there before with someone who doesnt want sex and my current wife is not like that at all.
Last time I was Home we had very good. Physicsal, Long Love making.
You cant fake that sort of thing. She needs to love someone and like somone to do it.
Also she says she has fel like this for a while...Since before we had another child.
You dont bring a child into the world if you feel like splitting up!
I am back for chrismas and Out of the blue again she said she is going out on new years eve and staying over.
She says she is going out with the other moms but I know them and I dont think they would appreciate her staying over as they all have kids.
I have a feeling she want to split up so she can go off with somone on new years that she has not told me about.
I know she would never mess arround while we are together.

Last time I was back I dropped her off shopping, as soon as I dropped her off she phoned a guy who lives round the corner..I found out as I was making the tea and waiting for the kettle to boil messign with her phone.
dropped off at 11.30 called guy at 11.32.

Am I being paranoid.
Should I let her go or ask her to come home after the night out.
We have had a bad year this year and I think things have got on top of her.

Advice please

[littlemoo]

There are various things you can try to see what can be done about the relationship. I presume (although you have not said as such) that you love her and wish to continue with the relationship.

You will need to try and get her to explain why she is not happy with the realtionship and if there is anything you can do to improve it. For example, it may be something to do with your working away. Try not to get into a shouting match, but note the points she makes and think about them before replying (even if this takes several hours or days)

I don't know your relationship so don't know how she will react to you asking her about who she is phoning round the corner and why, or how she will feel about you asking her who she is staying over with, but they are things you could ask her to reassure yourself.

If you feel it is difficult to talk, try emailling her or writing a letter, but at this stage, you need to try and understand what has brought this on and to try and make her see that you don't like it.

Best wishes
Jo