Help, need strong advice...

[depressedjulez]

I have been married to my husband for 3 years now... we got married very young at 18... Things were great first, sex was amazing and we did it a lot everyday... after we got married things changed... especially sex wise... I feel like he isn't attracted to me anymore and doesn't even care about sex anymore. Like sex doesnt matter. Things got so out of hand about 6 months ago that I ended up cheating on him with someone who wanted to have sex with me all the time, thats what I wanted. At first I thought it was going to be a quick phase but it lasted for 4 months... I fell in love with that man and how he treated me... soon I started comparing my husband to the other man and seeing how much more I matched with the other. Things got carried away, basically afterwards I decided to stay with my husband, I told him everything that happened and explained to him for the thousandth time that Im not treated the way I need to be...
Well... I'm still with him now and I want him to change, but nothing changed yet... still no sex in sooo long. And truthfully Im having thoughts about the other man again.... I know we match more together even though he isnt good for me.. (he does drugs now) it hurts.... but I think I need sex more than anything, I need someone who can flirt with me, love me fully, make love with me a lot, try new things, be aggressive...... you know I wanna feel butterflies everytime I see them... which I dont.....it hurts.... please help... any advice ... please I don't know what to do.... Do I love my husband? -- Yes.... but I want him to be like the other man was to me...


-Depressed & Confused Julez

[littlemoo]

Have you asked your husband why he doesn't want sex? Since sex (or lack of it) seems to be the problem, you need to ask him what he wants out of the relationship and tell him, without shouting and demanding if you can, how you feel and what you want out of the relationship.

If you find it hard to talk to him, do what "quiet" suggests on one of the other posts, and either write a letter to him or email it. Then you can say what you want without it coming out wrong.

Hopefully then you can discuss options, possibilities and solutions together.

If there is no improvemenrt in the situtation, you may want to consider going to a councellor - relate perhaps. http://www.relate.org.uk/

Don't have an affair. Either you love your husband and this is a problem you want to solve together, or you don't love him and want to be single to see other people again.

Hope you sort it out, marriage is special.
~Jo