Hi

[Alone girl]

Hello,

I am new to this site and just seeking people to chat too. I have been raped twice. Once by a stranger and once by an ex bf. I am currently suffering from PTSD and OCD issues and feel pretty isolated and alone with it all. Just wanting things to get better thats all.

Hope to see you all around sometime.

[Lucky]

the most important thing you have to remember is you are not alone.

talk to ppl who you trust. talk to us on this forum. ppl sometimes knock counselling, but i have only heard good things from ppl who go there.

the first step is the hardest, and you done it by coming here and introducing yourself.

be strong.

[jittery]

Hi

Hello,

I am new to this site and just seeking people to chat too. I have been raped twice. Once by a stranger and once by an ex bf. I am currently suffering from PTSD and OCD issues and feel pretty isolated and alone with it all. Just wanting things to get better thats all.

Hope to see you all around sometime.

Hi alone girl,
I agree with lucky, now you've come forward to introduce yourself here, that could be the first step forwards for you. You may find it easier to open up from hereon in, I hope you do. You do need people you trust, an old girlfriend of mine has been raped, or attempted rape not sure which yet- although she trusts me enough to come to me, she still hasn't really opened up, just needs hugs, reassurance and occassionally she will kiss me. Seems to be her way of getting some measure of confidence back.
Not that this will work, but do you have ANYONE you can turn to. If I were a woman who had been raped I can in all honestly say that I woul probably be too embarrased to talk to anyone I knew.
Lucky's suggestion of counselling may be the best way, especially if you do not feel you want this out in the open yet.
I'm sure you'll find a way, be strong, be true and do your best to find the right answer. And that's YOUR best, not anyone else's perception of what should be best.
All the best
J

[Alone girl]

the most important thing you have to remember is you are not alone.

talk to ppl who you trust. talk to us on this forum. ppl sometimes knock counselling, but i have only heard good things from ppl who go there.

the first step is the hardest, and you done it by coming here and introducing yourself.

be strong.

It has taken me awhile to even have the courage to log back on here and see if I had any replies. So thank you so much for your kind words.

I want to talk to my best friend, I have tried so many times :-( but it is so hard. I am such a quiet person and I keep myself to myself really. On the surface, everything seems fine I guess, but I would really like her to know in a way. I just can't find the words and don't want to either embarrass myself, or worse her really.

Thank you

[Alone girl]

Hi alone girl,
I agree with lucky, now you've come forward to introduce yourself here, that could be the first step forwards for you. You may find it easier to open up from hereon in, I hope you do. You do need people you trust, an old girlfriend of mine has been raped, or attempted rape not sure which yet- although she trusts me enough to come to me, she still hasn't really opened up, just needs hugs, reassurance and occassionally she will kiss me. Seems to be her way of getting some measure of confidence back.
Not that this will work, but do you have ANYONE you can turn to. If I were a woman who had been raped I can in all honestly say that I woul probably be too embarrased to talk to anyone I knew.
Lucky's suggestion of counselling may be the best way, especially if you do not feel you want this out in the open yet.
I'm sure you'll find a way, be strong, be true and do your best to find the right answer. And that's YOUR best, not anyone else's perception of what should be best.
All the best
J

Hello J

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to me, I appreciate it :-)

I am sorry to hear about your ex gf, although she is lucky to have you there for support by the sounds if it.

It is hard, as I have told bf before but it just gets thrown at me in a hurtful way so wish I hadn't said anything really :-( that's why I feel so alone I guess. Not sure where to turn. Just want to forget it all. But somehow I seem stuck and can't move forward. If anything it's gettin worse. Just drink so I can sleep and I know it's no good for me. I'm finding it harder to care about anything at the mo.

[jittery]

hello Ag

Hello J

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply to me, I appreciate it :-)

I am sorry to hear about your ex gf, although she is lucky to have you there for support by the sounds if it.

It is hard, as I have told bf before but it just gets thrown at me in a hurtful way so wish I hadn't said anything really :-( that's why I feel so alone I guess. Not sure where to turn. Just want to forget it all. But somehow I seem stuck and can't move forward. If anything it's gettin worse. Just drink so I can sleep and I know it's no good for me. I'm finding it harder to care about anything at the mo.

It is difficult. My ex gf has stopped coming round now, I text her and she seems ok, so maybe she's moved on. It is difficult I know. I sometimes talk to friends, but they don't really want to hear too much. Now you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but how does your bf throw this back at you?

It probably is difficult for him to hear in his defence, because he may feel as though there's nothing he can do about it. Or he may feel angry because he just doesn't know what to say.

It seems to me from hearing you that you are feeling in a position where you have to keep it to yourself? You don't have to. There are probably groups you can get in touch with or folks you can ring if you feel you'd rather not talk to anyone face to face. Try your doctor's surgery, I'm sure I've seen pamphlets in mine with some numbers you can try.

I know it's easy for me to say this, but don't let this destroy you sweet, you deserve better than that

[Alone girl]

It is difficult. My ex gf has stopped coming round now, I text her and she seems ok, so maybe she's moved on. It is difficult I know. I sometimes talk to friends, but they don't really want to hear too much. Now you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but how does your bf throw this back at you?

It probably is difficult for him to hear in his defence, because he may feel as though there's nothing he can do about it. Or he may feel angry because he just doesn't know what to say.

It seems to me from hearing you that you are feeling in a position where you have to keep it to yourself? You don't have to. There are probably groups you can get in touch with or folks you can ring if you feel you'd rather not talk to anyone face to face. Try your doctor's surgery, I'm sure I've seen pamphlets in mine with some numbers you can try.

I know it's easy for me to say this, but don't let this destroy you sweet, you deserve better than that

Aw sorry to hear that you are not in contact so much with your ex, but hopefully like you have said she may have moved on.

Yes, I get you. You want too talk but like you say 'they don't want too hear too much' this is hard right?!! I want too tell my best friend so much, but not sure whether she wants to hear it. If you know what I mean.

No I don't mind answering. Erm, it's like in an argument he will like throw it back at me kind of thing. Like he will say 'I'm not the one who raped you don't be angry at me' or whatever. Jus makes me sad. He questions me too, like why didnt you just do this or that or whatever...hindsight is a wonderful thing :-(

Yes your right, I keep it to myself. Thx for the advice I appreciate it thx

[Rights Fighter]

Aw sorry to hear that you are not in contact so much with your ex, but hopefully like you have said she may have moved on.

Yes, I get you. You want too talk but like you say 'they don't want too hear too much' this is hard right?!! I want too tell my best friend so much, but not sure whether she wants to hear it. If you know what I mean.

No I don't mind answering. Erm, it's like in an argument he will like throw it back at me kind of thing. Like he will say 'I'm not the one who raped you don't be angry at me' or whatever. Jus makes me sad. He questions me too, like why didnt you just do this or that or whatever...hindsight is a wonderful thing :-(

Yes your right, I keep it to myself. Thx for the advice I appreciate it thx

Are you sure you are with the right man? Good grief!

He should be there for you to share with, without condemnation, and he most certainly should not be asking questions like "why didn't you do this or that?"

Hindsight is not a wonderful thing in this case. Why? Because it could not have been avoided.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. Awful.......

[jittery]

hi Ag

Aw sorry to hear that you are not in contact so much with your ex, but hopefully like you have said she may have moved on.

Yes, I get you. You want too talk but like you say 'they don't want too hear too much' this is hard right?!! I want too tell my best friend so much, but not sure whether she wants to hear it. If you know what I mean.

No I don't mind answering. Erm, it's like in an argument he will like throw it back at me kind of thing. Like he will say 'I'm not the one who raped you don't be angry at me' or whatever. Jus makes me sad. He questions me too, like why didnt you just do this or that or whatever...hindsight is a wonderful thing :-(

Yes your right, I keep it to myself. Thx for the advice I appreciate it thx

I'm sorry to have to say this (for your sake) but RF's right. He should be supportive and encouraging really. And please stop saying hindsight's a wonderful thing, RF's right again, that sounds like you're blaming yourself, don't want to go on about this but I really would speak to someone who can deal with your questions and concerns. If your friend doesn't want to hear it, it may be best to leave be.

Chin up, life's not all about downs, there are plenty of ups too. Seriously though, I think you need to off load sooner rather than later. You've come this far. Be strong, go further; and find the joy!

[Alone girl]

Are you sure you are with the right man? Good grief!

He should be there for you to share with, without condemnation, and he most certainly should not be asking questions like "why didn't you do this or that?"

Hindsight is not a wonderful thing in this case. Why? Because it could not have been avoided.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. Awful.......

Wow! I certainly did not expect a response like this and not sure quite what to say!!!

It is crazy to me that I wouldn't have to take blame for what happened and I see what you are saying, it is just a whole new way of looking at things and I thank you for that x

[Alone girl]

I'm sorry to have to say this (for your sake) but RF's right. He should be supportive and encouraging really. And please stop saying hindsight's a wonderful thing, RF's right again, that sounds like you're blaming yourself, don't want to go on about this but I really would speak to someone who can deal with your questions and concerns. If your friend doesn't want to hear it, it may be best to leave be.

Chin up, life's not all about downs, there are plenty of ups too. Seriously though, I think you need to off load sooner rather than later. You've come this far. Be strong, go further; and find the joy!

Thank you for your kind words, i appreciate it so much, thank you.

Sorry if you think I am all about downs. There is no joy as far as I can see :-(

[jittery]

hi

Thank you for your kind words, i appreciate it so much, thank you.

Sorry if you think I am all about downs. There is no joy as far as I can see :-(

No need to apologise! We all have times when we are seriously down. Now take heart, because I'm sure you will come through this. Why? Because it seems to me that you are starting to get some confidence back. You went a while without looking at your posts, I think you said you were afraid to look? Well you certainly aren't now are you?

Find the joy is something someone said to me once; and I have to admit I'm really not sure what she meant. I'm glad you're starting to mend, KEEP IT UP!!!