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Been a While...But I had to Come Back

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  • Been a While...But I had to Come Back

    Just to let you know the case was dropped against Taf. Yayy, I possibly hear you all shout, however, it was an exceptionally hollow victory.

    The case was dropped by the CPS two weeks before we were due to go to trial, BECAUSE, they finally received the bloody evidence we had been screaming for all along. (Trial was to take place in January 2013) Yes it has taken me that long to get my head around it. To spend twelve months preparing for the trial and worrying about the outcome really affected my mental health. I got to the point where if I even heard the word rape last year, I was resorted to a jibbering wreck. There were times when I really, really struggled, so apologies for not being supportive on here (I still feel exceptionally guilty about that) but there were days when putting one foot in front of the other was an effort such was the sense of burden.

    Anyway, back to what is now my grief/gripe etc. The CPS were allowed to drop the case when they saw that we had proof she lied. Taf attended court not knowing why he was attending and was told that the case had been dropped. To add insult to injury, the judge said: 'You can leave with your good name in tact.' WTF? Hang on, is it not in the public interests to prosecute someone who has blatantly lied with a definite motive? Where is her punishment for the anguish she caused to Taf, to his family to me and ultimate on a far wider scale my children who had to witness my awful despair?

    I am not particularly interested in the woman who accused him. What goes around comes around. However, the judicial system needs addressing big time. As for anonymity? Funny how that has suddenly entered the media circus for discussion when well known celebs are accused. The whole thing makes my blood boil.

    I was approached by a journalist at the Daily Mail who wanted to know my story way back in March 2013 after she stumbled across my blog. Funnily enough, not heard a word since. I did express that my issues re: anonymity were not just in the interests of the man accused but their families. I suggested doing the article on that slant.

    The Daily Mail are quick to roll out stories about false allegations as they occur but don't want to do **** all about it on a serious level, i.e support a petition to grant anonymity. What is the point? That's like writing an article against child abuse and telling the NSPCC to sod off.

    Anyway, I am in a much better place now. Almost back to my old feisty self. I feel I can now offer support on this forum in a much stronger and more positive way than would ever have been possible in 2012.

  • #2
    A victory is a victory so Congratulations !

    I do understand your gripes and the judicial system stinks, and don't get me started on the mediaLP
    Together We Can Beat This Hell

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    • #3
      Glad to hear the case has been dropped. Here are some bananas! Now it's
      "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

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      • #4
        Hi - that's great news
        "Only love can light the mirror of your soul" - Chris de Burgh

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        • #5
          Brilliant news; you & Taf can now look forward to a great future together
          'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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          • #6
            Aww thank you all. Me and Taf are still trying to really get our relationship back on track. It completely changed everything about us. I used to be so carefree and optimistic, he was never the emotional type. We always used to laugh and stuff and that just gradually disappeared to nothing to be honest. However, last time I spent time with him I noticed he was just a little more upbeat. We laughed like we used to a bit more but I don't know if we are alone here, it just feels like a really slow process.

            I am not angry any more. I think the anger I felt was probably the worst thing for me because I genuinely don't usually have bad feelings towards any one. I certainly never hated before, but I did a spell of hating and I now know why I never entertained it before all this happened, it really does eat away at you.

            I just leave it all up to karma now. What she did was absolutely diabolical and I refuse to let her have some minor victory by making our lives a complete misery. It won't be for nothing, I am determined to make sure that this thing happened for a reason if it's only for me to be able to help other people and give them some comfort.

            “To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived - that is to have succeeded” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.

            It's the best i can do really!

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            • #7
              I'm so pleased to hear that the case was dropped. I completely understand your frustrations about the FA and the powerlessness us affected by FAs are subjected to.
              I thought your post was very well-written and heartfelt. Please don't apologise for not being here. I'm glad you came back to tell us the outcome though.
              I sense this is a hollow victory for you, so just the one banana from me.

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              • #8
                I'm really happy for you both but can understand how you feel.
                Wish you both all the best and need to post a banana

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                • #9
                  Congratulations to you and Taff!

                  I know it must have been a real dissapointment, but in another way, you didn't have the hell of the court case. If he was aquitted, you can write to the court asking for a 'certificate' to say so.

                  Originally posted by tiftaf View Post
                  We always used to laugh and stuff and that just gradually disappeared to nothing to be honest. However, last time I spent time with him I noticed he was just a little more upbeat. We laughed like we used to a bit more but I don't know if we are alone here, it just feels like a really slow process.
                  The laugh went out of our house at the end of 2011 when my son was falsley accused and is only now,slowly returning (his trial was in january). I used to sing alot, including in the house ( a sort of infuriating automatism, if you see what I mean!) and I only realised yesterday when I caught myself singing again that things are coming back while others probably never will, and somethings were just ...ruined. He will probably remember his 21st birthday as being the worst in his life, for example.

                  I think we need to be kind to ourselves for a while, TifTaf, we who have been through this were taken out of the mainstream, so to speak. Whether we can or want to jump back into it is another matter.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by whatsgoingon? View Post
                    Congratulations to you and Taff!

                    I know it must have been a real dissapointment, but in another way, you didn't have the hell of the court case. If he was aquitted, you can write to the court asking for a 'certificate' to say so.



                    The laugh went out of our house at the end of 2011 when my son was falsley accused and is only now,slowly returning (his trial was in january). I used to sing alot, including in the house ( a sort of infuriating automatism, if you see what I mean!) and I only realised yesterday when I caught myself singing again that things are coming back while others probably never will, and somethings were just ...ruined. He will probably remember his 21st birthday as being the worst in his life, for example.

                    I think we need to be kind to ourselves for a while, TifTaf, we who have been through this were taken out of the mainstream, so to speak. Whether we can or want to jump back into it is another matter.
                    Thanks. I have felt a bit of the depression creeping in again this week but managed to smack it on the head and try and remember that looking back serves no purpose. I am glad you are singing again. Apply for the X Factor maybe? lol

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                    • #11
                      sorry only just read this, I'm glad the worst is over. The rest will come back gradually but I suspect that life is never quite the same. That doesn't mean it can't be really good though

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