So down in the dumps

[Hol]

Today my husband was seeing the barrister before the start of the trial Monday. Drives all the way there to find the secretaries have got it wrong once again. He now has to go tomorrow for a twenty/thirty minute session and hope it all sinks in for the five days ahead.
He works nights and I'm sat here with too much thinking time. My head is done in. I've been so brave and been able to keep on top for my family, but honestly I'm running on auto pilot.
My husband is scared if things go wrong, what will happen to our house, it's on mortgage and I'm disabled so can't work. But I would live in a tent as long as he's with me, he's my life.
I don't even know if I've registered on here properly. I so stupid I don't know what an URL is, or how you add tags etc. Loosing it big time.
Can't see what I'm typing for tears sorry
Hol

[RFLH]

yep - they do get it wrong - my ex missed his own trial as they gave him the wrong date.

You are doing really well, you are entitled to feel down - nobody can be strong all the time - you'll feel better after a good cry and feel able to cope again.

Be kind to yourself.

[Hol]

Thanks

thanks Rflh
My emotions are all over the place. People think that there only one thing going on in our lives, but I have my mother and daughter to consider. Were just getting my mum settled, she's 85 in may and needs a lot of attention, but so does my daughter who's not coping well and mostly my husband. So I need to be strong for them and I'm finding it hard. I am on painkillers and suffer in silence because my husbands pain is a lot more than mine at the moment.
Just put me in the middle of a room and all you supportive people on here stand around, me then I can cry and I can scream and I can laugh when nothing is funny, and I don't need to explain why. Cos you'll know and you'll let me.
Hol

[just married]

so sorry about all of this, Hol.
The system is at fault. Not you.
JM
x

[Hol]

Hi there

Thanks for your response.
I've been asking myself for nearly four years, "how do you cope", but you do. I never knew the strength I had. Just wondering were it's gone. It's hard to express what i actually feel inside, but I suppose you understand me. I'm a very emotional person and a good listener, I find it hard the other way round, but thanks to this site and yourselves, I'm getting there.
Thank you
Hol

[Boys don't cry]

Good morning Hol.

I followed your posts and I am sorry to find you in this situation but you must always keep faith.

I am sure that you care about your family and some of us discovered as well strength through these terrible lies.

Take care and try to get some rest.

[NOHOPE]

dont think this is uncommon. the trial is nearly here and i was exactly the same thought i was coping then a week before thr trial i just wanted to run away and someone ring me and let me know how it all went.
i also went through a lot at the same time as this was happening to us but for what ever reason you do cope and come out the other side.
once this is all over and you start to relax when things in your life go wrong this whole thing made me cope better with all the other stuff that goes on in normal day to day life as you think well if i managed to cope with that and be strong i can cope with everything.
wrightly or wrongly i dreamt of being on my own if the worse happened and my hubby was convicted how would i cope with bills house work kids going to visit him all sorts went round in my head but you DO MANAGE basically we have no choice and just get on with it.
i remember as thr trial was coming up my son forgot to put the bin out and i was screaming and crying and all i kept thinking were will i put the rubbish and my hubby will be in prison. its just all enotions are so on the edge little things big things just tip you over the edge.

keep going then the only thing you will have to worry about is reading everyones post with bananas congratulating you.


it is going to be the worse week of your life no matter what anyone says BUT you can and will come out the other side

[Hol]

The kindness of you all

Thank you oh so much. I have just got up after a sleepless night and thought, of what I have to do today and smile through my mums moans because she's forgot what's happening and I do t want to remind her cos she will start worrying all over again and I can't keep her strong as well as myself.
So before I went out I thought I would come on and check my emails and you have just brightens my day. You have given me the strength to open my front door and go about my routine.
Thank you
Hol

[RFLH]

I'm pleased that you are finding some comfort from the forum - its doing its job right then!

[Hol]

Hi Rflh
Nice to here from you.
I'm getting great response. Everyone's being great.
My husband has been walking the carpet all morning and has now just got a call from the barrister to say he's out of court so drive down and we can have a bit of time to go through things.
How long, I don't know. I hope he can fit enough in and it's not rushed.
Going to try and chill a bit till he comes home. Oh Rflh can't wait till it's over!
Cheers
Hol

[myhome]

Hi Hol
The turmoil of emotions you are experiencing are horribly familiar to all of us - whether we are the FA or supporting the FA...Have you seen you GP for medication/anti-anxiety support/couselling? They are generally extremely supportive. If you feel like running and screaming go to a wide open space and do it!!! Or try a "silent scream." Open your mouth as wide as you can and make the physical action of screaming but don't make the sound - it does work!!!
With regard to the trial and the justice system, it is easy just to take note of the posts on here that have little faith in the justice system and I did do that too. Last week I went along with Billykickass and his GF to his trial and after the initial shock of seeing the inside of a courtroom and the dock, I found some positives to take away - not least, the ability of a jury to listen to evidence from both sides and then reach the right conclusion.... hugs to you babe - you will get through even though it seems like youwon't because the alternative doesn't bear thinking about......x

[Faith]

Please remember that these desperate feelings will not last forever
The supportive posts above are spot on

[lonley place]

Hi Hol.. we are all here for you every step of the way. LP

[Hol]

Wow!!

Oh my god! I can't get over you all, (crying) if I won the lottery right now, I couldn't be more glad of you all. You don't even feel like strangers, i feel I've known you.

My husband came back and the barrister had just gone through a few things with him. Still keeping him very much in the dark, so alls we can do now is hope.

Will the prosecutor ask me personal questions on our sex life?
He also verified that when a case gets taken to court the accuser gets 12k? Anyone else know about this?

Hugs for you all
Hol

[Hol]

Hi

Hi Hol.. we are all here for you every step of the way. LP

Hi LP
you put a great big smile on my face and a couple of tears in my eyes
And the boost I needed
Thanks Hol