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  • Amazing who you bump into....

    Right, as some of you know, I have been in London all day at client meetings. I dislike going to London for a number of reasons, but mainly because I hate all the walking and having to be polite to clients who I would not normally spend any time with.

    Anyway. This is what happened. I was at Euston looking at times for trains home, and then I walked towards the exit to go outside for a cigarette (yes, I have started again). I looked up and saw HER. The Liar. Yes, the one who lied to put my husband behind bars, and then lied again about the verdict and his sentence. The one who cost him his job, livelihood, and very nearly his family. She was about 3 feet away from me talking into her mobile phone. I saw her, and she looked up at me, and looked me up and down in that calculating way that some women have, then she looked away. (I should add that she doesn't know what I look like, because she gave evidence behind a screen, and insisted on the public gallery being cleared as she walked to the stand. But I know what she looks like, because I google her every day, and have seen her facebook page, and lots of snaps and videos of her at various "celeb" parties - she is a "stylist to the stars").

    Immediately my legs nearly gave way, and my heart started thumping as though I was fighting for life. My sight went all distorted and I thought I was going to pass out. I rang R, and said "I really need to talk to you". Initially he didn't believe that I had really seen her, but I was 100% certain, and he eventually believed me.

    I was torn - part of me wanted to run up to her and thank her for changing my life - for making me realise how much I love my husband, for giving him no option but to pursue the job of his dreams, and for making me understand exactly how strong and resilient I really am. But I knew that she could very easily claim that I had harrassed her, so I refrained.

    However, now I am GUTTED that I didn't take this opportunity to speak to her. It was a chance encounter that will in all likelihood Never happen again, and I lost my chance to make her feel incredeibly uncomfortable whilst being highly complimentary to her(!)

    I hate myself right now. Help!
    Last edited by Saffron; 11 September 2009, 06:19 PM.

  • #2
    At least you didn't push her under a tube train.

    DO NOT waste any more of your life thinking about her - as you say - you've had the last laugh in the end (better ways to get there) but you're both happy, still married and isn't the view better from the high moral ground?

    She may think she's happy, successful, blah, blah - but she'll get her comeuppance when she least expects it. I can guarnatee that. I follow my delightful tribe and none of them are happy or content - they're still holding on to their bitterness and its ruining their lives.
    And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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    • #3
      wow I bet your blood was boiling!

      Good for you for not saying anything. I suppose its one of those situations where you may have rehearsed in your head what you would say to her if you saw her but when you did see her it all went out the window.

      Some things are just better left alone and yes staying away from being done for harrassment is defo a positive thing.

      x
      Life is full of options is just choosing the right one thats hard....

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      • #4
        Hey Isi, nice to see you again!

        I wasn't angry, more terrified to be honest. I have dreamed about meeting her, and I had practiced what I would say, but when faced with her, complete with her "bed hair" and cold sore, it all just went PFFFFT! in a cloud of smoke and I chickened out.

        R and I had a monumental argument when I got home, it was horrible. I was upset and grouchy, and he was rattled that the whole scenario had reared its ugly head again after all this time. We sniped and shouted at each other, both of us being manifestly horrible to each other.

        I can't describe how I felt. This sounds so stupid when I see it written down, but I felt like I wanted to die. My nemesis was in front of me, and I didn't do anything about it. Which again makes me feel terribly selfish, because I know that other people here have suffered far worse than me - perversely, I am one of the "lucky" ones.

        I *know* I shouldn;t let it bother me....if it does bother me, she has won, right? But it does. It eats at me like a cancer. I am not sure I will ever be free of this. I thought I was, but now this.

        OK, I need to stop this self-indulgent cr4p before it gets out of hand. Sorry everyone.

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        • #5
          nope - you resisted sinking to her level, which makes you the better person. I'd have lamped her one and ended up on a charge!

          Hardly surprising you were both rattled, but you've lived through it and survived. Kick her in the shins the next time you see her!
          And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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          • #6
            Pain is pain and it's not a competition. You are fully entitled to air your emotions here.

            I don't know what I would have done - probably have said something or if I had been too shocked, gone home and written and rehearsed something for "next time" if there ever was one.

            Or I might have followed her shouting "have you put any innocent men in prison recently?. Be careful everyone this poor excuse for a woman perjures herself in court - hell hath no fury as they say!!!" and more......

            Had I had a drink I certainly would have done, then disappeared fast!
            People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

            PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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            • #7
              i think we all would like to believe we would say something so powerful and clever it would rock *insert whoever"'s world but in reality we know that
              a) it never works like that and
              b) sods law says that we would get done for it if we hurt the person

              i think you handled it very well.

              i had a close encounter with x (to be honest i could say his "name" cos it wasn't his real one). i would have lierally walked into him at the crossroads if it wasnt for my fear of crossing without the green man. he was with a girl and i wanted to warn her but obviously that wouldnt have been wise. before i reported it i used to walk past where he worked (on the opposite side of the road to go to the drs or my friends house and i look completely different so he would never have recognised me). i wanted to see him suffering but it only made me more angry cos i could see it didnt affect him at all. but then i realised the fact it didnt meant he must be inhuman so i was better than him, or so i tell myself.
              "I dreamt I went to the doctor's and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd been sitting in the f**king waiting room half an hour." Sarah Kane (4.48 Psychosis)

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              • #8
                Friday, your reply made me cry. Thank you for your kindness, you obviously understand what it was like, having been there yourself.

                I told a friend of mine about what had happened, and he said "you should have kicked her in the *insert body part*". Then he said "But I don't want to have to visit you in Holloway, so I think you did the right thing." I still wish I had done something though.

                I have to go to London again on Monday and I am thinking about whether I will see her again...unlikely I know, but I am not sure I can cope with another chance meeting. Part of me wants it to happen, and part of me is dreading it ever happening again.

                WHY is this still getting to me? R is working this weekend, and despite my lovely children I feel terribly alone. oh no, crying again, sorry

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                • #9
                  As hard as it seems - let it go.

                  You know how much I've lost, but it took me a few years to realise that my anger was hurting me just as much as their lies. Ny keeping hold of it they were winning again by me destroying myself and my health,

                  It's not easy to do, but the weight that lifts of your shoulders is immense. You can truly look forward and live your life and most importantly of all be happy - that is the best revenge.
                  And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thanks RFLH, I know you are right. I am blessed in many ways. I was having a self-indulgent moment and wallowing. No more! Never again!!

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                    • #11
                      Saffron

                      You don't come across as a moaning Minnie to me and you do a lot to support others too, so I think you are entitled to a whinge from time to time.

                      You've been discussing the "meeting" with a friend who was supportive, hubby is at work and you now feel alone.

                      You did the right thing by coming here and writing it down. You can do that one the "other" forum too you know! People understand how you feel!
                      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                      • #12
                        I do more than my fair share of moaning and wallowing!!

                        But I refuse to let them grind me down, I'm short enough!
                        And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          You'd need a pair of stepladders for you to reach the grinder.......
                          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                          • #14
                            I shall slap your legs!
                            And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..

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                            • #15
                              I Love you two! You always make me smile x

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