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I just wanted to make a post to say for anyone in the same position- please look through this great support forum. I just want to thank everyone for posting as it’s really helped me but I just wish sooner as I feel it could’ve been different 
. Sorry it’s going to be a fair amount but I just hope this helps me feel a bit better writing it out.
My case is just all over the place from disgusting lies from a part of the now ex family as they’ll never be anything to me or my parents.
The only part that actually happened which I’ll explain now my 21st birthday & the same cousin who made these accusations wanted to stay round but didn’t happen due to the ex girlfriend & parents but he said add him on snap and play Xbox etc His mother also that night was taking pictures with me kissing my cheek saying how proud she is of me how much she loves me etc. forward after that I play Xbox with said cousin he says to add him so I do, all normal joking etc etc. won’t go to far into detail with the ex relationship but after it all when you think about it, you really mess yourself up thinking it’s right. Me being me this quiet always easy no problems person with depression is a perfect target for a person like her. I had the worst trait and that’s people pleasing no matter what so come 2019 my ex has warped my brain into thinking threesomes is what’s needed and I’m not a good boyfriend because of it.
Bare in mind naming points - she spoke to her exs because she felt bad, I allowed it because I didn’t know, she only talk to guys because she didn’t get on with girls, she did all these things and I just allowed it because she would be happy otherwise it’s an argument couldn’t break up or make her move back home as she threatened to kill herself because she hated it there. It’s shocking knowing I allowed all this. But with the whole threesome thing was I asked my friends who i spoke to, Not to actually do it but for me to understand the whole would you sleep with her, your thoughts on this and that. Also said it to said cousin because he jokes about stuff like that as well like oh just done this and that with a girl and I would reply with a laughing emoji because that side of the family from when I was younger acted like that from when I was 10 onwards the said mother and other ex auntie would shove their butts and breasts into my face laughing. Constantly ask me questions have I had sex yet fingered sucked etc etc while laughing. So at this time nothing was a problem with saying that then a bit after he posts on his story what shoes should I get and all this (very expensive) I knew he didn’t have a job yet. I had a feeling he could’ve been a mule as growing up constantly in trouble causing problems lying. Staying out late not coming back home when I asked if he was selling drugs he kept shhhing me and then he became a bit off so I was just gonna see what happens really if he’ll eventually tell me. I go on holiday with parents and ex & this is the part that has ruined my life all from a phone error. Snap has a streak etc send a picture for it to carry on so being stupid and thinking it’s a funny joke I write a caption just had sex and click the camera for a picture to keep the streak. I didn’t get to see what was actually sent as it did auto. He screenshotted I was so confused and said why what was it as It fat fingered, he told me he didn’t mean to and it was nothing. A week later after looking after my ex nans dog with the ex girlfriend - also said cousin telling my mum joking saying they are gonna have sex in nans bed. Got told by my mum the said mother called saying this and that.
next part got invited for a police statement to find out the said picture had my flaccid penis in it, I was shocked and devastated it happened. I told them what happened how it happened gave over my phone like they wanted. That’s all they asked me about. My free solicitor at the time went through it and said I got nothing to worry about. - end of the year comes up I get an email asking for any update because they cant get in contact with the officer, I say nope nothing. Fast forward end of the next year a new solicitor emails asking I say still nothing? Thinking that’s it. But no 2/3 years ago my mum gets contacted by a new officer asking about his ear being cut that I had nothing to do with or would’ve been there/ known. He had a bully in school that did it. Back then The mother said to my mum she wanted me to fight him apparently.. im at work and the cousin comes in and sees me I’m shocked didn’t shout or anything just frozen he said to his gf lets get out of here. The next day I get a call from HR saying a woman has come in saying I raped a younger family member I’ve been charged and have a court date. I then get investigated by work explain it and no I wasn’t charged or a date. Now this year in Feb I get woken to two officers saying I’m being charged of 8 counts 3 “aid abet rape” the others SO. I was all over the place the same shocked and frozen they leave and I didn’t really know what to do. My mum gets her to call back and asks about it just for the officer to say maybe counselling to help him? Not the main things like a solicitor all this. I call a few breaking down crying trying to explain they all want money I understand and get the money but they was saying so much and not even speaking just the fees upfront. One said I couldn’t get legal aid I have to pay 3k for magistrates and crown court plea before maybe I’ll get legal aid.
im up at 3 in the morning no longer able to sleep I can’t even remember how but I stumble on this forum and it really helped me so so much reading other posts & information. Me not knowing how the system worked I emailed miss Shirley just asking for help as I saw the post from a user with their experience. Steven the main man who does the emails replies and helps a lot recommending a firm ACA not only that calling them letting them know I’ll be calling. They was so helpful got the legal aid done both courts for the trial to now be in 2028 with Miss Shirley taking it on for me, They both want screens for the trail.
This all would’ve never happened if all you wonderful people didn’t post and keep this website up!
the whole prosecution has been a shambles - magistrates my bail was I couldn’t go to my home address? also they have put this only happened at my home? But I have also stayed at theirs and the nans in those years?
crown court plea - Miss Shirley told them how the counts are wrong and it shouldn’t be aid & abet? The judge said the years are all over the place they are putting forward because I was also a child at the time and then one part I’m a young adult. The prosecution didn’t have the right files saved for the judge at the hearing, the judge also asked if social services was involved he didn’t have an answer for then the judge to basically say forget you and asked me if they did (they didn’t)
I have another part of my mum side family that also got pushed out by the same cousin and mother who will fight on my side with this. I am just hoping for the chance of they put their side through and I can just shut it all down with the truth so it doesn’t get to the point of trial? The only thing is that photo which has helped them to claim historic as it was rampant at that time. The time frame was like 2010-2016? I don’t understand how they can’t see it as the accident it was? I gain nothing from sending it on “purpose”? The new officer she shouldn’t be one has lied to my mum about things, my parents never got questioned about any of this when it happened it and at the time I was also a child?
sorry for getting that off my chest felt good having a deep breath after that.
i hope everyone on here past and present is having a great life they deserve
. Sorry it’s going to be a fair amount but I just hope this helps me feel a bit better writing it out.My case is just all over the place from disgusting lies from a part of the now ex family as they’ll never be anything to me or my parents.
The only part that actually happened which I’ll explain now my 21st birthday & the same cousin who made these accusations wanted to stay round but didn’t happen due to the ex girlfriend & parents but he said add him on snap and play Xbox etc His mother also that night was taking pictures with me kissing my cheek saying how proud she is of me how much she loves me etc. forward after that I play Xbox with said cousin he says to add him so I do, all normal joking etc etc. won’t go to far into detail with the ex relationship but after it all when you think about it, you really mess yourself up thinking it’s right. Me being me this quiet always easy no problems person with depression is a perfect target for a person like her. I had the worst trait and that’s people pleasing no matter what so come 2019 my ex has warped my brain into thinking threesomes is what’s needed and I’m not a good boyfriend because of it.
Bare in mind naming points - she spoke to her exs because she felt bad, I allowed it because I didn’t know, she only talk to guys because she didn’t get on with girls, she did all these things and I just allowed it because she would be happy otherwise it’s an argument couldn’t break up or make her move back home as she threatened to kill herself because she hated it there. It’s shocking knowing I allowed all this. But with the whole threesome thing was I asked my friends who i spoke to, Not to actually do it but for me to understand the whole would you sleep with her, your thoughts on this and that. Also said it to said cousin because he jokes about stuff like that as well like oh just done this and that with a girl and I would reply with a laughing emoji because that side of the family from when I was younger acted like that from when I was 10 onwards the said mother and other ex auntie would shove their butts and breasts into my face laughing. Constantly ask me questions have I had sex yet fingered sucked etc etc while laughing. So at this time nothing was a problem with saying that then a bit after he posts on his story what shoes should I get and all this (very expensive) I knew he didn’t have a job yet. I had a feeling he could’ve been a mule as growing up constantly in trouble causing problems lying. Staying out late not coming back home when I asked if he was selling drugs he kept shhhing me and then he became a bit off so I was just gonna see what happens really if he’ll eventually tell me. I go on holiday with parents and ex & this is the part that has ruined my life all from a phone error. Snap has a streak etc send a picture for it to carry on so being stupid and thinking it’s a funny joke I write a caption just had sex and click the camera for a picture to keep the streak. I didn’t get to see what was actually sent as it did auto. He screenshotted I was so confused and said why what was it as It fat fingered, he told me he didn’t mean to and it was nothing. A week later after looking after my ex nans dog with the ex girlfriend - also said cousin telling my mum joking saying they are gonna have sex in nans bed. Got told by my mum the said mother called saying this and that.
next part got invited for a police statement to find out the said picture had my flaccid penis in it, I was shocked and devastated it happened. I told them what happened how it happened gave over my phone like they wanted. That’s all they asked me about. My free solicitor at the time went through it and said I got nothing to worry about. - end of the year comes up I get an email asking for any update because they cant get in contact with the officer, I say nope nothing. Fast forward end of the next year a new solicitor emails asking I say still nothing? Thinking that’s it. But no 2/3 years ago my mum gets contacted by a new officer asking about his ear being cut that I had nothing to do with or would’ve been there/ known. He had a bully in school that did it. Back then The mother said to my mum she wanted me to fight him apparently.. im at work and the cousin comes in and sees me I’m shocked didn’t shout or anything just frozen he said to his gf lets get out of here. The next day I get a call from HR saying a woman has come in saying I raped a younger family member I’ve been charged and have a court date. I then get investigated by work explain it and no I wasn’t charged or a date. Now this year in Feb I get woken to two officers saying I’m being charged of 8 counts 3 “aid abet rape” the others SO. I was all over the place the same shocked and frozen they leave and I didn’t really know what to do. My mum gets her to call back and asks about it just for the officer to say maybe counselling to help him? Not the main things like a solicitor all this. I call a few breaking down crying trying to explain they all want money I understand and get the money but they was saying so much and not even speaking just the fees upfront. One said I couldn’t get legal aid I have to pay 3k for magistrates and crown court plea before maybe I’ll get legal aid.
im up at 3 in the morning no longer able to sleep I can’t even remember how but I stumble on this forum and it really helped me so so much reading other posts & information. Me not knowing how the system worked I emailed miss Shirley just asking for help as I saw the post from a user with their experience. Steven the main man who does the emails replies and helps a lot recommending a firm ACA not only that calling them letting them know I’ll be calling. They was so helpful got the legal aid done both courts for the trial to now be in 2028 with Miss Shirley taking it on for me, They both want screens for the trail.
This all would’ve never happened if all you wonderful people didn’t post and keep this website up!
the whole prosecution has been a shambles - magistrates my bail was I couldn’t go to my home address? also they have put this only happened at my home? But I have also stayed at theirs and the nans in those years?
crown court plea - Miss Shirley told them how the counts are wrong and it shouldn’t be aid & abet? The judge said the years are all over the place they are putting forward because I was also a child at the time and then one part I’m a young adult. The prosecution didn’t have the right files saved for the judge at the hearing, the judge also asked if social services was involved he didn’t have an answer for then the judge to basically say forget you and asked me if they did (they didn’t)
I have another part of my mum side family that also got pushed out by the same cousin and mother who will fight on my side with this. I am just hoping for the chance of they put their side through and I can just shut it all down with the truth so it doesn’t get to the point of trial? The only thing is that photo which has helped them to claim historic as it was rampant at that time. The time frame was like 2010-2016? I don’t understand how they can’t see it as the accident it was? I gain nothing from sending it on “purpose”? The new officer she shouldn’t be one has lied to my mum about things, my parents never got questioned about any of this when it happened it and at the time I was also a child?
sorry for getting that off my chest felt good having a deep breath after that.
i hope everyone on here past and present is having a great life they deserve