Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 31 to 39 of 39

Thread: My 16 year old is accusing her step dad of rape

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    scotland
    Posts
    22

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Izzy View Post
    Hi Dandare

    Sorry to hear what you've been going through. You wrote

    It's not against the law to give a 16 year old alcohol at home or on private premises in Scotland so you weren't breaking the law.
    Thats what i thought, dont understand then why my husband was charged with this then, or why the social work are being so nasty by telling me i was irresponsible for allowing this. Thanks for clearing that up Izzy

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    82

    Default booze

    Quote Originally Posted by dandare View Post
    Hi BMH

    You are so right, as my mum has said 'she has made her bed now let her lie in it'!!! I can confirm that she had 2/3 very weak drinks that night and i also know for sure she drinks quite a lot with friends, i always told her to be very careful of what she was doing but like most parents know if you tell them not to do something they do it behind your back anyway. But according to social work i was stupid to even allow this, but i really didn't think this would come back and bite my ass but i suppose i didn't think my daughter could be so cruel either but i know when this all ends nothing will happen to her anyway so its no skin off her nose anyway....Why does the law allow this i really think people who make false allegations should be charged!!! Thanks for your support x
    I would like to add to what izzy says that I suspect the law on drinking applies to England as well.

    A typical bully tactic that ss take upon themselves to scare people when half the time it would be laughed out of a court. In consideration that they work closely with the oic who divulges bail conditions and other privacy matters it is so often a bloody disgrace that these power crazy freaks are getting away with this type of inaccuracies. Of course all so many are scared beyond belief of having their children taken away that they do not challenge them, and if we were brave enough to oppose the wrong they would be full up with complaints to investigate. I so hope in time especially with so much that ss has failed to comply to that they will be answerable for their failings and can be easily challenged without the fears that we all go through.
    The times I have heard that they threaten to take kids away unless you agree to do this or that sickens me,, its a form of blackmail and totally against the law!!!

    If ss recognise abuse etc upon visit then they have the power of removal instantly, beyond that they have to take you to magistrate court where you have your objections etc heard and is determined by the judge .

    I hope more people read my comments as we have been victims of them throughout our ordeal and I believe too many sufferers have not got the courage or strength left to explore how you can fight back.

    regards b.m.h

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    left before the rainbow
    Posts
    190

    Default

    The SS will use and twist what ever they can to justify their actions, they accused me of being obstructive and evasive because I could not recall dates from 13 yes ago, they have also indicated to my wife that if she were to end our marriage it would assist in the removal of our children from the at risk register, the fact I am in another country seams to have no bearing, write down everything these people say to you, make no mistake they will lie, and when it comes to a court of law who do you think the judge will believe.

    Sparks

  4. #34
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Posts
    139

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dandare View Post
    What an end to a day, my husband phoned his lawyer to go over everything and to confirm what she had said, unfortunately my sister in law had picked it up wrong and had my husband convinced, what has happened is the bail has been dropped and the PF had not done the paper work and want more investigating done from the police so nothing has really changed apart from a day wasted sitting outside a court room. I do apologise for the miss info but i couldn't be there as i had our daughter, but he did have his family there for moral support. I am keeping a note of everything, SW will no longer talk in front of my family or friends so i have been advised to write down everything said while she is here as this is well within my rights, but then again i thought having a friend sitting with me was as well but according to the social worker she will not discuss anything in front of anyone!! Is that right??
    Hi Dandare,

    I am in Scotland too...it sounds like charge wise you are in the same position as we are. It seems to make no sense to me.
    My partner was arrested, detained over the weekend, and due to appear in court on the Monday. He was taken to court kept in a holding room, then policeman and lawyer told him he was free to go but had bail conditions and had to return in 4 weeks (he did not actually appear in front of the fiscal)
    He attended court four weeks later. There was a couple of hours of hanging around then his lawyer told him he was free to go, bail conditions dropped. Again he did not appear in front of fiscal. No date to reappear. So now we wait. His lawyer has advised that sometimes after 6 months ( we are nearly at that point) they review cases and something may happen then, but other than that there is nothing he can tell us. Supposedly there is to be further investigation. However nothing has been done as yet (it wasn't in the first place either!) no witnesses who saw us that night have been interviewed. There can be no further evidence to be found, in fact the longer that things are left the less there is, potential witnesses will have forgotten etc.

    It seems bonkers to me. But if I am being positive, the fact bail conditions are dropped must mean they have serious doubts / lack of evidence, surely if there was a true believe my partner was a rapist then bail conditions would be in place and dates set for further hearings. Or maybe that is naive of me.

    Hope it does not drag on too long for you.

    Regarding SW, we have managed to avoid SW contact so far, although I have contacted the childrens school to ensure there is no behavior changes, contacted Family Law Scotland and Parentline for advice. Their advice was very good, it also means that should SW become involved I can show I have considered my children and sought advise where I could. Unfortunately with SW you have no choice but to work with them, and try and evidence to them that your children are your priority, but that does not alter your beliefs. (I have also read somewhere that if your partner has no bail conditions and no formal charge, legally the only way SW can remove your children from your care is through court, which obviously they are reluctant to do - not sure if this is fact though)

    Not sure how helpful any of this is to you Dandare, but I am thinking of you and take care.

    CGU XX

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    scotland
    Posts
    22

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by breakmyheart View Post
    I would like to add to what izzy says that I suspect the law on drinking applies to England as well.

    A typical bully tactic that ss take upon themselves to scare people when half the time it would be laughed out of a court. In consideration that they work closely with the oic who divulges bail conditions and other privacy matters it is so often a bloody disgrace that these power crazy freaks are getting away with this type of inaccuracies. Of course all so many are scared beyond belief of having their children taken away that they do not challenge them, and if we were brave enough to oppose the wrong they would be full up with complaints to investigate. I so hope in time especially with so much that ss has failed to comply to that they will be answerable for their failings and can be easily challenged without the fears that we all go through.
    The times I have heard that they threaten to take kids away unless you agree to do this or that sickens me,, its a form of blackmail and totally against the law!!!

    If ss recognise abuse etc upon visit then they have the power of removal instantly, beyond that they have to take you to magistrate court where you have your objections etc heard and is determined by the judge .

    I hope more people read my comments as we have been victims of them throughout our ordeal and I believe too many sufferers have not got the courage or strength left to explore how you can fight back.



    regards b.m.h
    Hi bmh

    Sorry if im being silly but what is oic? As im relatively new to this i need told Each day i feel stronger and i will be fighting this treatment from ss as soon as the police have finished their investigation and prove my husbands innocence. I have even thought about going to the media to expose such treatment as i know this is completely wrong and any complaints will go unheard within ss.....yeah that is fighting talk!!! I have proved to ss that my children are my main priority and they have recognised this but still want to play mind games and twist my thinking which i know is wrong. I am so glad i studied social care because it gave me the understanding to know what the correct behaviour from a social worker is accepted, they really have made so many screw up's it is unbelieveable and i will not go unheard but i know i have to bide my time just now. I will look into the correct way to fight back and so my voice will be heard !!!

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    145

    Default

    Hi DD

    OIC is officer in charge or sometimes IO investigating officer. The alcohol matter is totally ridiculous, can you imagine if every household where a teenager has a couple of drinks was under scrutiny, social services would be over run. They are just playing nasty games even the most well intentioned, common place actions can be twisted by them to imply "Grooming." Stay strong and do whatever you need to do to protect yourself.

    The truth is like a lion. You don't have to defend it. Let it loose. It will defend itself.

    St Augustine

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    scotland
    Posts
    22

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cantgiveup View Post
    Hi Dandare,

    I am in Scotland too...it sounds like charge wise you are in the same position as we are. It seems to make no sense to me.
    My partner was arrested, detained over the weekend, and due to appear in court on the Monday. He was taken to court kept in a holding room, then policeman and lawyer told him he was free to go but had bail conditions and had to return in 4 weeks (he did not actually appear in front of the fiscal)
    He attended court four weeks later. There was a couple of hours of hanging around then his lawyer told him he was free to go, bail conditions dropped. Again he did not appear in front of fiscal. No date to reappear. So now we wait. His lawyer has advised that sometimes after 6 months ( we are nearly at that point) they review cases and something may happen then, but other than that there is nothing he can tell us. Supposedly there is to be further investigation. However nothing has been done as yet (it wasn't in the first place either!) no witnesses who saw us that night have been interviewed. There can be no further evidence to be found, in fact the longer that things are left the less there is, potential witnesses will have forgotten etc.

    It seems bonkers to me. But if I am being positive, the fact bail conditions are dropped must mean they have serious doubts / lack of evidence, surely if there was a true believe my partner was a rapist then bail conditions would be in place and dates set for further hearings. Or maybe that is naive of me.

    Hope it does not drag on too long for you.

    Regarding SW, we have managed to avoid SW contact so far, although I have contacted the childrens school to ensure there is no behavior changes, contacted Family Law Scotland and Parentline for advice. Their advice was very good, it also means that should SW become involved I can show I have considered my children and sought advise where I could. Unfortunately with SW you have no choice but to work with them, and try and evidence to them that your children are your priority, but that does not alter your beliefs. (I have also read somewhere that if your partner has no bail conditions and no formal charge, legally the only way SW can remove your children from your care is through court, which obviously they are reluctant to do - not sure if this is fact though)

    Not sure how helpful any of this is to you Dandare, but I am thinking of you and take care.

    CGU XX
    Hi CGU

    Yes the ss has pointed out to me many times that i dont have a choice but to work with them, even if the police drop the case or my husband is found NG.
    Which must show it was all lies but were still being punished. Thanks it is very helpful and i will contact FLS and PL as i think it may be of help to us too. I dont know how bad things would be if i didn't have the insight and support i get from this forum. xx

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    scotland
    Posts
    22

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by frightened spouse View Post
    Hi DD

    OIC is officer in charge or sometimes IO investigating officer. The alcohol matter is totally ridiculous, can you imagine if every household where a teenager has a couple of drinks was under scrutiny, social services would be over run. They are just playing nasty games even the most well intentioned, common place actions can be twisted by them to imply "Grooming." Stay strong and do whatever you need to do to protect yourself.

    Ahh thats it lol x Yeah i know, i have friends with teenagers all that allow their kids to have a few drinks, think with my situation they are a bit more in reserve now. Im bewildered as to the treatment from ss and didn't see it before this situation, now i know why they are hated so much!! I will FS dont know where this daily strength comes from but you all have a hand in it and i am grateful xx

  9. #39
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    scotland
    Posts
    22

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by sparks View Post
    The SS will use and twist what ever they can to justify their actions, they accused me of being obstructive and evasive because I could not recall dates from 13 yes ago, they have also indicated to my wife that if she were to end our marriage it would assist in the removal of our children from the at risk register, the fact I am in another country seams to have no bearing, write down everything these people say to you, make no mistake they will lie, and when it comes to a court of law who do you think the judge will believe.

    Sparks
    Hi Sparks

    Oh i so see this now, i am nervous at the fact i have been ask to write question down i would like to ask my husband but i have none but i know it will be seen as obstructive and not working with them! I will write everything down, and they have blatantly lied and twisted things so i am very on guard. But i will not be bullied by them. Thanks Sparks

Similar Threads

  1. Wife accusing me of rape
    By spike in forum Help and Advice: Falsely accused of rape?
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 29th December 2013, 10:12 PM
  2. escort accusing me of rape.
    By freewayz in forum Help and Advice: Falsely accused of rape?
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10th April 2013, 08:10 AM
  3. Someone is falsely accusing my Dad and sister of sexually abusing my Daughter.
    By TLGP304 in forum General discussion about false rape accusations
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 8th January 2013, 06:26 PM
  4. Daughter accusing step dad of attempted rape
    By brokenmotherandwife in forum Help and Advice: Falsely accused of rape?
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 25th July 2012, 10:08 PM
  5. spoilt brat claim step-dad raped her!!
    By raine in forum Help and Advice: Falsely accused of rape?
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 25th November 2009, 04:19 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •