False sexual assault claim

[Forgive&Forget]

Good morning.

I'm going through the mill a bit at the moment.

I have been in a relationship for the last 7 months with quite an abusive and crazy woman. Her family have a history of mental illnesses.

She is a very angry person and spiteful. She accused me back in March of assault which I was on bail for. Apparently I closed her leg in the door when I went to the bathroom. I videoed myself in the bathroom with her feffing and blinding behind the door then you hear a sudden smash. I go out and the tv is all over the floor and she walks in with cuts all over her arms.

I was arrested on suspicion of assault.

During my bail she said she was dropping the charges and that she wanted to be with me and that she went into the station to give a retraction statement. Unfortunately I succumbed and we started seeing each other again.

Then one night, we fell out (weren't together physically I was at mine and she was at hers) and she called the police saying I had broken my bail and was harrassing her although she told me different saying she called the police because she was worried about me.

The police told me not to contact again and that as it was the end of my bail they were extending it again for another two weeks.

As soon as I got home from the station she called me as we were together and she asked me to pick her up. For a week we were doing what we usually did as I recently moved into a new place which she was a part off. Seeing the family doing normal couple things.

Anyway a couple of saturdays ago I went out and she met up with me. We went back to ours where she accused me of cheating again and casually called the police saying I had broken my bail again and where I lived. At this point I went downstairs into the kitchen panicking, she came down and we were arguing when she decided to throw a kettle at me and then picked up a knife. I wrestled the knife of her and pushed her away where she then went at me with a bottle in which I pushed her away again.

I was in custody for the whole day arrested on suspicion of ABH. Then when I was interviewed, they had to re arrest me for another offence. This time sexual assault.

She claimed I bit her neck and lip and was touching her boobs and tried to spread her legs and saying I wanted to rape her.

The next day when I got home from the station there were messages on my FB saying that "she wants to be in bed with me, but she hates me".

A also had voicemails from the 2nd of April where she claimed she hated me and was going to "take me for everything i've got" and that she would "make me suffer" which I didn't pick up until after this event. I was saving these but they've disappeared of my phone. I called the police straight away about these messages but nobody came to pick them us. They were so damning and when I found out they had gone I cried my eyes out.

I think she claimed that we weren't together in the police interview which is a lie. I have CCTV images from my house which show us quite happy and in no duress being with me.

The questions I need to ask are ...

1) If I received a message from her saying that she just wants to be in bed with me, does this not indicate that even if something had happened, there would be consent??
2) If she had lied about us seeing each other and being in a relationship, with the evidence assumed would this dispel her claims as it was an obvious lie?
3) Is the negligence by the police for failing to obtain important evidence when I had called them numerous times?
4) My phone was also taken from the home. I was in custody so it wasn't me and it had a recording of her casually calling the police lying on the bed. They tried to find this but with no luck. This is crucial surely?
5) The voicemails - they are lost but many people heard them within my family and friends, can they still give evidence on what they heard?
6) If she's found to have some sort of depression/mental illness will this discredit her allegations as she has had counselling and I had even offered to pay to help her some more.
7) I have messages on my phone from the past where she has indicated she wants doing what she's subsequently accused me off. Will this help?

She also kept telling me she was pregnant and that she had an abortion during our time together as the baby wasn't growing. She then claimed she was pregnant again when we were back together when I was on bail. Can I obtain her medical records?

Also during bail I had to rush her to A&E after a suspectant overdose. I wasn't with her at the time but the establishment she was in wouldn't call an ambulance. Would this have any bearing on anything?

Sorry for the long thread. Just a bit worried as I genuinely loved her and I feel like i've been screwed over as after 5 days she was back with her ex boyfriend.

I have forgiven her, it's harder to hate somebody and I do still deep down love her but I need to clear my name and right now that's all im focused on. Not getting revenge.

Any help would be great.

Kind Regards

Just a quick update. Unfortunately she made contact with me and made me feel everything would be OK. I was stupid and got back in contact.

I was finding it hard and she said to me that nobody would want me when this got out so I should take her back. I was naive and did.

My doctor confirmed what was happening was severe domestic emotional abuse and I still took her back.

Anyway nothing has happened until a couple of weekends ago.

I went out when she was working and came back to find my car windows caved in and my back door smashed. I got her inside and she went on to trash that. Circa 10k of damage. I was rearrested for breaching bail and her criminal damage.

I have since found a voicemail from that night where she threatens me, my family, my sister and my dog. She also said to me if I wasn't back at 3am she would smash my door down and rip of my face.

Does she have a leg to stand on anymore? She's the crazy one and has severe anger problems. She's also clearly on drugs.

How can some body who's clearly horrendously violent and aggressive have any grounds. If anything it shows that I was the weak one in this relationship and she controlled me.

I just want her out of my life for good. I was so stupid but she's been found out now. I hope this clears the false allegations which she told me in person never happened.

Oh also I have a recording of her threatening to kill herself over me and making it look like I did it and that she was also sexually assaulted by a random man.

I haven't shown this to the police yet.

[Rights Fighter]

It's from her Facebook which has always been on lock down as she's very protective over it.

..................................

I'm just trying to get any ounce of hope I can to be honest.

I appreciate you are looking for positive signs, I really do. But if I and others came in and said "oh that sounds hopeful" and you were charged, you'd have raised false hopes and then you would have to deal with that fall-out of awful emotions.

When I get back to the UK I'll be able to help a little more.

[jittery]

hi

It's also very difficult I suppose as as much as I'm angry with her going cold turkey from a girl a really cared about is hard. I can't speak to her as much as I want too but she's really making me feel more hurt with her still trying to contact me. Difficult times. :-(

Whatever you do don't answer. I know it must be hard, but it's usually a condition of bail that you aren't supposed to contact your accuser in any way.
Stay strong.

[edinashed]

I've had another missed call today. Should I tell me solicitor? Surely this indicates that she did this out of spite and anger.

Record the calls and save the ones or the extracts of ones that would be helpful to you and give them to your solicitor. Conveniently "lose" the phone with all the original recordings, save useful texts etc to your SIM card.

Bear in mind though that she may well be doing exactly the same thing, so if you do talk to her don't do anything daft like ask her to drop the allegations!!! I wouldn't reply to her texts either, even though breach bail isn't an offence it can result in you not being granted bail at a later date.

[Forgive&Forget]

It's also very difficult I suppose as as much as I'm angry with her going cold turkey from a girl a really cared about is hard. I can't speak to her as much as I want too but she's really making me feel more hurt with her still trying to contact me. Difficult times. :-(

[Forgive&Forget]

How do you know the missed call is from her? Does the number register as hers?

If it is, that doesn't prove you did nothing. She could say for instance, that she was feeling angry at you with regards to the allegations.

It's from her Facebook which has always been on lock down as she's very protective over it.

And yes I can understand your point but from a common sense perspective the fact she keeps calling after we've broken up because of these allegations there is an awful lot of inconsistency. The fact she told the police we jaunt seen each other until that night, which has been proved to be a lie the fact she's now contacting after not apparently having contact especially after this accusation is strange.

I'm just trying to get any ounce of hope I can to be honest.

[Rights Fighter]

How do you know the missed call is from her? Does the number register as hers?

If it is, that doesn't prove you did nothing. She could say for instance, that she was feeling angry at you with regards to the allegations.

[Forgive&Forget]

I've had another missed call today. Should I tell me solicitor? Surely this indicates that she did this out of spite and anger.

[Forgive&Forget]

The hundreds of calls before the alligation and the cctv of her at your parents house etc i think goes in your favour. If the police get information from her phone they will see messages before and after. I think that helped our case as it showed the FA as being a typical teenager living in fantasy and the jury were able to read it all too!

the thumbs up is great! Shows her to be in cocoo land, also have you reported your phone being lost? Make sure you know the date so that shes not using it and saying your texting and stuff.

we had an anonymous facebook acc contact us threatening all sorts but showed that it was from us! ? the police wouldnt take it seriously as it didnt prove it was them! Come on who else would it have been!

Yes, I reported my phone being lost on the day. I videoed her casually calling the police accusing after accusing me of cheating on her. They haven't been able to recover it.

My case has already gone to the CPS. I take this as a bad sign considering it's only been two weeks. My solicitor told me they should have a deicision this week.

Within days she was already back living with her ex. I have voicemails where she threatens me with court and that she was going to move back in with him and make it work.

The voicemails I lost indicated she was going to take me for all I had and that she admitted to being jealous of what I had and that I was given everything on a plate and that she was going to take me down to her level.

I know she's a sociopath but she's so clever. It's really difficult. I'm struggling with not only this, losing someone I thought we shared a connection with and now finding out she moved back to an old violent flame so soon.

[bakedbeans]

The hundreds of calls before the alligation and the cctv of her at your parents house etc i think goes in your favour. If the police get information from her phone they will see messages before and after. I think that helped our case as it showed the FA as being a typical teenager living in fantasy and the jury were able to read it all too!

the thumbs up is great! Shows her to be in cocoo land, also have you reported your phone being lost? Make sure you know the date so that shes not using it and saying your texting and stuff.

we had an anonymous facebook acc contact us threatening all sorts but showed that it was from us! ? the police wouldnt take it seriously as it didnt prove it was them! Come on who else would it have been!

[jittery]

hi

The phone calls were up until the incident. I think she told the police we hadn't been seeing each other.

I'm no expert, but it sounds promising. My fa tried to say we were casual acquaintances, text messages from my phone showed this to be rubbish. One of the criteria for the cps to make the descision to take a case to court is whether the accuser would make a compelling witness. Evidence of outright lies isn't really what the prosecution dreams of!

Stay strong!

[Rights Fighter]

Sorry but no. Am just getting ready for a well deserved break.

You can ask your questions here on the forum providing they don't identify anybody. I am sure others who have gone through what you are currently going through can support you.

[Genuine]

Rights fighter

Sorry to be a pain RF - is there any way of pm ing you ?

[Rights Fighter]

I suppose it depends on what she told them. We have no idea of course of that however, maybe she said he rang her and shouted at her? Or she said rang a friend after the alleged assault - or texted one?

There can be any reasons why the police would want to check her phone:

if they believe her then if she says she made certain calls/texts an examination would back that up.

if they do not believe her then calls/texts made to the OP or others might be interesting or important.

[frightened spouse]

I would be interested in what other members thoughts are regarding the fact the police are analysing her phone, it would suggest to me they have some concerns regarding her story and therefore could be a positive sign for you. All you can do is plan for the worst, but hope for the best and stay as balanced and positive as you can, easier said than done I know. Take Care