Hi my partner has being charged, i need help!!

[frightened spouse]

Hi

Sorry to hear you are feeling low, the fact schools are informed is yet another humiliating factor in all this. My children's schools were informed within 24 hrs of us finding out about our FA. Although I was still in shock and barely functioning I approached all the head teachers in person to explain our perspective on the FA. It gave me back a feeling of control and also you can discuss any worries you have about how your son and any other children are coping with the situation. The only people that are informed are the head teacher and the class teacher, so I wouldn't worry too much about the gossips.

It is good that social services saw that you have support, they are just as bad as the police when it comes to assuming that all complainants are telling the truth.

Best wishes

Frightened Spouse

[sparks]

I feel for you so much, imagine coming from a village of less then 12,000 people 1, store, 1 doctors, 1 school
And SS telling you oh people are professional, well I don't care it it was run by a silent order of mute monks people talk, but SS do not see that as a problem, they see you as being obstructive, work with these people but do not trust them, visit Fassit for info and assistance in dealing with the SS, best wishes.


Sparks

[HKM20]

Well last Thursday whilst i had guests over and social services decided to show up, They said they could come at another time but i said no i asked them in, my guests asked if i wanted them to leave and again i said no they could stay. Social service seems shocked that i allowed them in with guests being there and that my guests were there to stay. They asked questions which we have answered and then questioned my eldest son in his bedroom. They seemed ok but i dont trust them at all. they have put us on a 45 day assessment, so they can drop in anytime and they are going to the school when it is open for term. We feel humiliated that the school is going to be informed because school mums work there and they gossip so we have hit an all time low at the moment. We have got family who are going to give evidence against her (the ones she has spoke to) and for some reason the dates she has given fall around her birthday (every year) when she was "abused" which is beyond ridiculous! We haven't been sleeping well at all and we feel more exhausted than when we went to bed! I just wish this nightmare would end, so we can get on with life normally.

[sadman]

Draw up a battle plan

As this was a long time ago times and dates will be difficult to recollect
Start with memorable dates which you do know holidays deaths births things you can remember.Then question friends and family about certain periods sometimes they can fill in gaps Build up an event map of that period then try to get supporting documentation or witnesses to support it.The police and CPS will do everything in their power to see your partner convicted.10 months on bail means they have been looking for further evidence which is probably thin on the ground.in most of these cases it is who the jury believe credabilty is everything .look at her allegations as a wall of lies and each brick in the wall has to be taken down so the wall falls down.When you have her statement go through it in fine detail again and again somewhere in it will be weakness.Above all get a good barrister who has experience in these cases the prosecutor will be a top person and they are good so be aware a weak legal team would not help your cause.Don t sit there discuss it and find those weaknesses in the lies

Goodluck

My partner has been charged today of historical child rape that surposed of happened 15 16 years ago (never happened as this person admitted to me she was lieing 10 years ago), My partner is totally overwhelmed and we need help and advice from anyone. we are from the UK so any help and support will be greatly recieved. I know you are the only people who can truely understand what we are going through. I just cant believe this is happening, he was on bail for 10 months before being charged.
Thank you for taking the time to read this
HKM20

[HKM20]

I have been to see the solicitor and she is specialized in that field, she is getting a barrister sorted in that field, our legal aid form has been submitted now and we have been told that we only get 6 months of legal aid. I have asked for the unused bundle which she is getting. the solicitor is also checking if the "victim" has already put a claim in for criminal damages, if she has it proves what we have been saying that she is money grabbing, whether my partner is found guilty or not she will still get paid out which i find disgusting! We might have to sell our home to pay the legal fees after 6 months as we have no saving at all, so we might lose our family home while she is getting rewarded for telling lies, I don't see how that is fair! the investigating officer said to our solicitor off the cuff that she is shocked my partner has been charged! There is no hard cold evidence to say my partner has done it, its only her word so i cant see why he has been charged! :C

[myhome]

Hi - Have you checked to see if your husband's solicitor is experienced in defending cases of alleged historic csa, I can't stress enough how important it is to have a legal team that has a solid background in this area. If you post the region ( not too specific )that you are living in a forum member may be able to recommend a solicitor they have first hand experience of. FS

Hi - have a look at this sticky - you may find someone recommended and some to avoid.....

http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors

[Innocentguy1983]

Hi There

I'm really sorry to hear your sad news, after the long bail date.... I am my self experiencing a historic situation when I was 11-16. So I know exactly how you feel...

Hi

Have you checked to see if your husband's solicitor is experienced in defending cases of alleged historic csa

FS

I couldn't agree more with "frightend spouse", I have yet to be charged but I have spent a considerable long time trying to find the right solicitor.. I mean this can change everything.. going on holiday, getting a mortgage... Make sure you have the best defence you can!

In the end I have decided to go with Mr Gerry Mcdonald at ebr.

Good luck to you both..

IG

[frightened spouse]

Hi

Have you checked to see if your husband's solicitor is experienced in defending cases of alleged historic csa, I can't stress enough how important it is to have a legal team that has a solid background in this area. If you post the region ( not too specific )that you are living in a forum member may be able to recommend a solicitor they have first hand experience of. The sol we have at the moment is ok but if my husband is charged we will definitely swap to a more experienced team.

As for SS, as Sparks said you just have to work with them, they are only doing their jobs. It is a horrible experience to have them snooping into your family but unfortunately in this situation co operating with them will be the easiest thing to do and hopefully the conditions they place on your husband's contact with the children will not be too stringent.

Take Care

FS

[sparks]

Remember you are not helpless you are victims, SS tend to come across as judge and jury but you will have to work with them, do not give them too much information, and make a note of everything that is said, it might assist at a later date,

Sparks

[HKM20]

I cant thank you enough It is such a relief to talk to people who know what its like. You'd think there would be support for people like us but there isn't any anywhere other than here! I have been told social services will be coming now my partner is charged (even though they didnt even bother coming see us when he was on bail) regarding the kids and we are terrified now, just feel so helpless!

[HKM20]

Is the FA in your husband's case short of money at the moment ? there are generous compensation payments available to complainants even if a case does not reach trial or there is a not guilty verdict.



FS

The girl is very money driven their whole family has been, they have done fraud and have had claims for everything going like whiplash and all sorts!
I have lost my job through being off with stress and my partner is fighting for his job (through ill health, and his workplace don't even know about this going on to scared to tell them incase they sack him!) and money is really tight for us. I can only think the reasons why she has done it is because we live in their nans home (which we brought and got a mortgage on it) and my partners mum used to care for her eldery next door neighbour who died and they think she left the house to her (she didnt though, so they will be disappointed to learn they wont get anything from that) and the house is up for sale, since that sign went up the police came knocking. so yeah she thinks she is going to get money out of this. no other reason to be honest, plus she has always been jealous of my partners close knit family because she hasn't got with her own family.

[myhome]

Hi and welcome to the forum but so sorry you have had to find us. You have been given lots of great advice already. Your husband really does need a defence team which specialises in historical abuse cases. This is an awful time for you and an emotionally draining time too......we'll give you all the help we can.....keep strong....MH

[frightened spouse]

Hi

Trawling through the threads and other stuff on the web can make you feel despondent as you look for reassurance, I know I do it all the time.

This afternoon I have spent time looking at my husband's case making notes of any emails/communications over the years that will cast doubt on the allegations. In fact any contact between my daughter and my family in the intervening years since the supposed assault(s). Also motive for making these claims. I don't know how much use it will be but it has made me feel a lot better. If you could do something similar it may help when you visit your solicitor.

Is the FA in your husband's case short of money at the moment ? there are generous compensation payments available to complainants even if a case does not reach trial or there is a not guilty verdict.

Best wishes

FS

[HKM20]

Hi,

As you obviously know the accuser fairly well you will be a strong member of the defence team. As you have looked at other members threads I'm sure you have taken on board the advice regarding engaging a specialist solicitor.

Yes unfortunately she is his cousin it has ripped the whole family open for 15 years, her parents wouldnt go the police back then when my partner wanted go but they wouldn't budge! weeks before she first made the allegation she was on holiday with my mother in law and she crawled into her bed to go sleep cos she said she missed her mum and my mother in law thought ok and then she said as quote "my dad comes in bed with me and goes bed after" my mother in law then replied "after you go sleep" and she then said "No just after.......I want my mum now", She was that upset they had to take her home the next day! why she is blaming my partner i have no idea she and her family have always blamed him for everything when they were growing up if things went missing or wrong. I just cant get over it!

[Boys don't cry]

HKM20.

Sorry to read that your husband has been charged.
At least it is the end of the unknown and the start to fight for the truth and freedom.

You will receive the final disclosure and read all the statements made.
Please ask your solicitor if she can get the unused bundle as well.

Keep confident.