Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Only been married 6 months and it's fallen apart - please talk to me

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Only been married 6 months and it's fallen apart - please talk to me

    Hi,

    I have been married just 6 months but my husband and i just do not get on. We are both nice people however together we just dont seem to make it work. I dont find him attractive and so we dont have sex (unless I drink a lot then do it just because i feel i should) however i dont think this is an issue i have. I love him but dont know if i love him THAT way. We have split up 3 or 4 times in the 5 years we have been together and think maybe we just got back together each time as it is hard to get used to be not together plus we have a 3 year old girl to think about. I dont want to live my life as a lie and feel awkward and unhappy around him forever. it seems a bit sill just to stay together for our child as that will not make anyone happy in the long run and if we separate maybe we can both find happiness and lasting love elsewhere one day? A lot fo things have happened to bring us to this point. We have been arguing a lot and he recently walked out which I think deep down i resent and cant move on from. He did come back the next day but i seem to have a lot of anger because of this and during a night out after the pub we had to most horrific screaming match and i hit him around the face. I have apologised for this and cannot believe i would do something so out of character. I never want to be in that situation again. I love and care for him but dont see us being happy if we stay together. I dont want to hurt him and know it will be hard for him to move out but should be just stay together becuase its easier??? maybe a trial separation would work. I know it would be hard being on my own as my husband looks after me very well, driving me around and is a great father, but I dont want to live like this. We are both unhappy. Another issue is that he doesnt like me to go out (which i dont often do) but i love to go out to clubs dancing with my girlfiends once a month but he hates this and it always causes a problem. he says people only go out to "pull" and "wifes and mothers should go out to clubs" which i find ludicrous! he has no reason not to trust me. He is incredably moody and he has recently been to the docs and got some medication for depression. nothing has changed though and I cant see my life with him. I think it speaks for its self that we have split up so many times and each time i have begged him back, i think maybe just because I look back on things with rose tinted glasses. Please offer advice x

  • #2
    It sounds difficult - you have obviously given this quite a lot of thought. Maybe you should talk to someone like relate (and possibly get you husband to go too) and they will probably have some kind of program that you can go on that will ask some deep meaningful questions about why and whether you want to stay together. After that, if it goes badly, it sounds like you may want to try that trial seperation - there's no point being unhappy for a very long time for yourself or your kid - you won't appriciate it.

    Comment

    Working...
    X