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Thread: False Accusation - Early Stages. Looking for Support & Advice

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
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    2

    Default False Accusation - Early Stages. Looking for Support & Advice

    Hi Everyone.

    As its still an active case Ill be careful not to say too much. However about 5 months ago I was arrested for a rape accusation by a friend who I was having a casual relationship with. I was told that I should hear within 16 weeks but I've heard nothing and its still with the CPS so its still just a waiting game.
    After reading some posts on here it could well be a long road so I'm going to try not think about it.

    BTW I'm an overthinker about EVERYTHING! Its had me in serious bouts of anxiety and depression. Theres good things happening in my life but its marred by the thought of this case. I go from "It's fine, you're innocent" to "You're going to prison and going to get beaten and blah blah" Worrying about corrupt police, biased judges etc (with no reason to suspect this btw) So you can see how my brain works!

    So this forum may well be good for me.

    I've read some conflicting stats so I'm going to avoid reading too much about conviction rates, what happens if its just my word against hers (I used to think it would always go the way of the 'victim') There's alcohol involved in my case and that adds other factors to consider.

    Its just a total mind **** isn't it. Especially when, as a 32 year old who previously was following a religious life style, I have only been sexually active for less than a year and this person is only the second I've ever slept with and she was a friend who I thought had a potential future with!)

    Anyway. I may post more info or feel free to ask questions but thought I'd just say hi for now.

    Thanks

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
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    57

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    Quote Originally Posted by thewiggy View Post
    Hi Everyone.



    BTW I'm an overthinker about EVERYTHING! Its had me in serious bouts of anxiety and depression. Theres good things happening in my life but its marred by the thought of this case. I go from "It's fine, you're innocent" to "You're going to prison and going to get beaten and blah blah" Worrying about corrupt police, biased judges etc (with no reason to suspect this btw) So you can see how my brain works!



    Thanks
    Hi thewiggy...I can SO identify with this statement....that's exactly how life is for me and has been for 11 months now

    I expressed on here my worries about going to prison too, as I have read such awful things about what 'rape' prisoners go through in prisons, but someone on here put my mind at rest a little by saying that's not the usual case, and I should put all those thoughts out of my mind as it's a long road and I would drive myself mad if I thought about it. I have to be honest I do get dark days ( and nights) when my mind goes to those places, but mostly now I just try to keep busy , and follow all the advice I got on this site, and put dark thoughts out of my mind

    You certainly were unlucky to encounter such a girl so soon after you began to have sex. I have been sexually active now for many many years with many girls and this came out of the blue for me

    Good luck mate, we'll travel this hard and VERY long road together eh?

    Sam

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    322

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    Welcome to Daftmoo Wiggy,

    I'm always sorry to hear of someone suffering from yet another false allegation but there is a lot of wisdom on this long running site, handed down by many others who have been through it and come out of the other side.

    The investigation stage can in many ways be the worst and it's impossible to stop thinking of the worst at times but the antidote is to keep busy, stay healthy, confide in some close friends and family and do what you can to be prepared should they decide to charge you.

    Evidence is in short supply in cases that involve consent, people very rarely have sex in front of an audience of independent witnesses but please save all messages and emails between you and if can stalk the accusers social media and take screenshots so much the better.

    Write down everything you can remember about your relationship and from the evening in question in a chronological order and keep a notebook with you in case you remember anything else, details can sometimes prove important.

    The other thing you can do is find yourself a decent solicitor should you need one, you will sleep a little easier knowing who to call should you get bad news. RF has a database of good sols and barristers and if you give us an idea of where a potential trial will be held we will hopefully be able to point you in the right direction.

    Alcohol and consent are difficult topics, obviously there are odious men out there that target women who are legless but the daily mail have been publicising a spate of recent cases where women appear to regret their actions while less inhibited the night before, have proven to be unreliable witnesses and the jury's find the defendant not guilty. Drunken consent is still consent and the law has to be able to prove that you did not have a reasonable belief that she was consenting.

    This is the CPS guidance on consent (PDF) : https://www.cps.gov.uk/publications/...consent_v2.pdf

    All of this said, the vast majority of allegations made to the police go nowhere, only 1 in 5 are charged and less than 1 in 10 are found guilty by a jury. In the groups, where we would hope most really are innocent and not just pretending they are, I suspect the conviction rate is far lower than the national average. False accusers find it much harder to lie to a courtroom and a good barrister than they do the credulous police.

    As Sam says, try not to think too far ahead and just look after yourself. Avoid media stories and television shows about prisons and bear in mind that they are not a realistic portrayal of what actually happens. Sex offenders are classed as vulnerable persons (VP) and are all locked up together, many of them will be maintaining innocence. Violence is quite rare on a VP wing. The more common problem is boredom.

    Have a look at some other posts and you will see that you are far from alone in going through this. Also check out the useful information section, and in particular Casehardeneds post, what happens now:

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

    Come back for support and if you have any questions someone will always try to answer them.
    Consider carefully what you post in public. To join secure closed forums for those falsely accused of historical sex offences visit :http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
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    I was coming home to thank everyone for the support.

    YET IVE COME HOME TO A NO FURTHER ACTION LETTER!!!!

    I was bracing myself for a 2 year wait this week.

    OMG! Thanks Everyone!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
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    Lucky You

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2015
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    Brilliant news,
    Look forward to a brighter future

  7. #7
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    Jan 2017
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    Whoop whoop! Congratulations Wiggy.


    Consider carefully what you post in public. To join secure closed forums for those falsely accused of historical sex offences visit :http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    Great news!!
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

  9. #9
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    Up Nanny's room behind the wallpaper
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    Whoooooooooooooo Hooooooooooooooooooooo!

    Chris Saltrese Solicitors - private client only: ~ Email: amy@chrissaltrese.co.uk or sarah@chrissaltrese.co.uk ~ ~ Telephone: 01704 535 512:

    Private forums for those maintaining innocence of HISTORIC sexual offences: http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

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