Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Partner being falsely accused of rape

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Partner being falsely accused of rape

    Hello, I am from Australia, I know this is a UK forum and I know the laws are different but I cannot find anything for support for this specific to Australia and I really need some help. I also apologise for this being so long but I feel like some back story is necessary and I am so lost and scared.

    My partner had an over 6 month sexual relationship with someone who was married and had a child with her husband, to make this easier I will call her Betty (not her real name) and her husband Bob (again not his real name). My partner admitted to me late August about the sexual relationship with Betty. According to what my partner has stated to me, for him it was strictly a sexual relationship but for Betty not so much. She seemed quite adamant that my partner was going to leave me for her but that was never the case. My partner said he tried to end it with Betty on multiple occasions but Betty would threaten him saying she would slash his car tyres, graffiti our home, threatened to hurt me and even pulled a knife on him once. He felt like he was backed into a corner until I found out. About 1 month before I found out, Betty was claiming to be pregnant to my partner, prior to this she was on the contraceptive pill but said she stopped because she thought she was pregnant. Against my partner's better judgement he still continued to have sex with her.

    After I found out, he had the courage to end it with her completely, blocked her number and on all social media. The next day he received over 70 anonymous phone calls from Betty. Later that day he messaged Betty and asked her to leave him alone, she continued with the pregnancy news and my partner was constantly asking for proof but Betty avoided this, eventually sending through a photo of a pregnancy test but as she was in the process of separating from her husband Bob was moving her belongings out of their shared home and could have been the pregnancy test from her pregnancy with Bob (yes women do keep those things).

    Fast forward a couple of weeks and Betty was now latching herself onto my partner's best friend whom he works with, whom I will call Norman (not real name). Betty rang my partner off of Norman's phone claiming when she (allegedly) went to have an abortion they told her to go to the hospital because she had already miscarried. The next day Betty contacted my partner crying asking to meet with him alone, he went along and they ended up having sex again. One week later my partner was told by a fellow workmate that Norman wasn't at work the day after they last had sex because he had spent the morning at the police station with Betty who was reporting him for raping her. My partner decided he finally wanted to come clean to Bob about everything and we spent the evening having a conversation with him.

    Today, my partner received a phone call from Norman's mother explaining that Norman and Betty had reported him and that the police have a recorded phone conversation between my partner and Betty were he (allegedly) admitted to raping her, but they weren't going to go ahead with the charges unless he continued his behaviour (no idea what this meant). He remembers the phone conversation and he did not say that he raped her, but did say something like "sorry if you felt like it was a bit forceful" but according to my partner, this is how they had sex each time because she "likes it rough" which Bob has admitted to that she does. Five minutes after the conversation ended Norman's mother sent my partner a text saying that after reviewing his behaviour and seeking advise from advisors they were going to go ahead and press charges. My partner says the sex was consensual, but since it was just him and Betty it's her word against his.

    He spoke to a lawyer today who told him that if the police come to talk to him to ask them to arrange a time where he can go to the station with his lawyer.

    My partner and I have been together for almost 6 years, and not once has he ever forced himself on me or made me do things that I did not consent to or wasn't comfortable with, and still to this day asks if I'm okay and whatnot during our intimate times. This was the same with his previous relationships as well. I can't speak for everyone but from this experience I know it would not be a pleasant feeling to be accused of something you didn't do, especially something as serious as rape. It has been a week since Betty went to the police but my partner has had no contact from them yet. He has confided in his family and has their support but has said to multiple people including myself that he is on the verge of seriously harming himself because of this allegation and has had many "what if I am a rapist" moments. I think it is important to note that his side of events has remained consistent with each person he has confided in.

    I am incredibly scared as I have never been in this sort of situation before and do not know what to do.
    How do we deal with something like this? Does anyone know of any support or advice forums or anything else that are Australia based? Sorry this is so long...

  • #2
    Hi dingo 123, glad you found this forum even though you are so far away and things will be different in your country, I'm sorry you couldn't find any support or advice at this terrible time, I can't offer any advice to you, but you are very welcome here to vent anything you need too, we do not judge, we are simply here as we all have our own experiences to tell, I'm sure someone will be along soon to offer advice and support, keep posting on here as you are with friends that will listen, offer comfort and help any way they can

    Comment


    • #3
      Quick Update

      Thank you for your kind words, I really do appreciate the support. I wish there was something closer to home that could help but unfortunately not.

      Just as an update, my partner is having a formal conversation with police officers tomorrow. He has a lawyer but is unsure of what he should take with him. Should he take text conversation evidence that he has with Betty showing she threatened to hurt him two days before the alleged rape. He also has a screenshot of her posting on Facebook saying shes in love with him, everything else was either a verbal threat or through Snapchat which deletes the messages once read. We're both incredibly scared of what could happen and have no idea what the process is or how it happens.

      Comment


      • #4
        I'd suggest that you take whatever you have in terms of screenshots or messages but with the intention of showing them to the solicitor and not necessarily to the police - certainly not without the solicitors advice.

        There should be time to talk to the solicitor about things like that before the interview.
        'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

        Comment

        Working...
        X