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Thread: Not a good day

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
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    25

    Default Not a good day

    Partner was at magestraties yesterday as everyone said it was over quickly. Hes been given half the case file and are awaiting the rest to be passed over by cps. He was very positive after talking to solicitor and is arranging a meetig for after the initial crown hearing next month to go through it all.

    Sadly after spending the last 6 weeks assuring him it will be all over eventually and that these 2 appearances are nothing to worry. My positivity seems to have ran out. Even after the positive news from yesterday iv spent the day in tears so far. Think the reality that it isnt going to go to trail till dec/ jan has hit me. Its been 6 weeks since he moved out and im really struggling to comprehend how were going to get through another 7 to 9 months having a relationship that is confine to 2 days a week.

    Its silly things im worring about i know were strong enough to get through it but like how much of a struggle its going to be living on 1 wage for another year, how to get through it when he doesnt want to speak about it untill he has too but that leaves me with noone to talk to about it as i have no friends or family to confide in.

    This year we had just moved in together we were planning a wedding, a family all the silly things that couples are meant to do like holidays and days out. The accuser has stopped all of that and life is very much paused as every plan we had has had to be cancelled, yet she manages to go about her life just fine.

    By the time its over he wont have seen his children from his previous relationship for 18 months. This is a major worry of mine how its affecting him and the children.

    Sorry for the rant just needed to let it out somewhere

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
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    Up Nanny's room behind the wallpaper
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    Default

    Positivity has run out because you have now stepped on the first rung of the ladder, which takes you closer to trial.

    Hold on on there. Your anxiety is perfectly normal for the abnormal situation you find yourself in.
    Chris Saltrese Solicitors - private client only: ~ Email: amy@chrissaltrese.co.uk or sarah@chrissaltrese.co.uk ~ ~ Telephone: 01704 535 512:

    Private forums for those maintaining innocence of HISTORIC sexual offences: http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Posts
    13

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rights Fighter View Post
    Positivity has run out because you have now stepped on the first rung of the ladder, which takes you closer to trial.

    Hold on on there. Your anxiety is perfectly normal for the abnormal situation you find yourself in.
    This is an emotional rollercoaster. Expect to have bad days and some not so bad days. The churning in the pit of your stomach is sadly part of the experience. There are times that you will feel like you are going insane but you are not. You are having to live in an insane situation where you have absolutely no control. The complainant is the one who walks around with not a care in the world which evokes a deep sense of rage. Again these are normal feelings in such an abnormal situation. Sadly all you can do is to take one day at a time and try to be kind to your self. As hard as it sounds your life is on hold until the trial. This is the first time that the complainant would have been challenged. In my family's situation there was a complainant and several of her friends, when they were skilfully gently and sarcastically challenged they were shown up for the liars and fools that they were. They are now living their life sentence and Karma will get them in the end.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Posts
    254

    Default

    firstly big hugs to get this far you sounds like you've done amazingly!!

    We had social services involved (3 young children) and as my hubby was returning home we had a fantastic 'family practitioner' who had been through a false accusation herself. She said it's really important to keep talking, otherwise you will end up with PTSD. I know for some men it is hard to talk but i really think you need to encourage him. Is he allowed absolutely no contact with his children? Is this a bail condition or a social services agreement?? I'd like to reassure you that children do 'bounce' back from things quicker than us grown ups.

    You're doing amazing, and don't look at how far you've got to go, look at how close you are to getting your partner home.

    Keep Strong xxxx
    "Only True Love Can Survive This"

    -Hubby was accused - arrested in June 2015 - re-bailed December 2015 - NFA'd March 31st 2016 - SS allowed him back home to our family April 2016-

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