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Thread: Feeling ill

  1. #1
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    Default Feeling ill

    We are going back to police station in 2 days, and the police will tell us whether they are going to charge my bf. i am feeling sick and depressed. It has been a nightmare for us for over 5 months. Everything stopped after he got faulsely accused, police provided limited info so even today we didint know who the accuser was??!! We were planning to get married this year, but now, we might have to spend everything we have on legal fees to fight a case that didn't exist. Why on earth would someone want to put us through this torture? We are really nice people and just want to do our jobs and form a family.

  2. #2
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    Hello, unfortunately nobody on here can answer the question 'why would someone make up a false allegation'???
    Anyone who is unfortunate enough to find themselves in such a position will no doubt ask this at some stage!!
    This place can really help you though with great advice should the worst case scenario happens!

    I hope you get the correct outcome asap and you move on with your lives!

    I was found 'NOT GUILTY' over 9 weeks ago....I went to hell and back and fought the *******s all the way!!!

    Keep posting and don't feel stupid asking questions, god knows I asked enough : )

    All the best x

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    Thank you Aidy. I feel so sorry that I am so emotional. By the end of the day, I am not the one who has to go through the pain. My bf is. But I am deeply deeply disappointed with the legal system here. It is designed to put innocent ppl through hell rather than put away real criminals.



    Quote Originally Posted by Aidy View Post
    Hello, unfortunately nobody on here can answer the question 'why would someone make up a false allegation'???
    Anyone who is unfortunate enough to find themselves in such a position will no doubt ask this at some stage!!
    This place can really help you though with great advice should the worst case scenario happens!

    I hope you get the correct outcome asap and you move on with your lives!

    I was found 'NOT GUILTY' over 9 weeks ago....I went to hell and back and fought the *******s all the way!!!

    Keep posting and don't feel stupid asking questions, god knows I asked enough : )

    All the best x

  4. #4
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    Hi, it's an emotional time for you both.
    Your lives are on hold for now, but try and support each other it's a terrible thing to be falsely accused, or what makes people make false allegations, it's sickening.
    Keep posting on here even on the dark days there will always be someone to offer advice and keeps your spirits lifted.
    At least in two days time you might get more information and then know what road you have to take.
    Fingers crossed it goes well and you can put this mess behind you and start planning the future.

    Good luck, keep your chin up

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    Thank you all. We are thinking abt put forward a written statement as we have given a no comment interview. Please someone advise how detailed should a written statement be?

  6. #6
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    Default Written statement

    Hi, does anyone have experience of submitting a written statement to cps? We were considering to submit one, but we are not sure how detailed should a written statement be? Our solicitor think it should be detailed, but we are not very convinced....thank you if you could make some suggestions.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PleaseHelpMeGod View Post
    Thank you all. We are thinking abt put forward a written statement as we have given a no comment interview. Please someone advise how detailed should a written statement be?
    Be guided by your solicitor.
    Never say anything without his/her say so.
    You could incriminate yourself unintentionally, or even give the complainant chance to change their story to fit your recollection of events.
    Speak to the solicitor before giving ANY evidence to the police!
    All the best
    YoH

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    Quote Originally Posted by PleaseHelpMeGod View Post
    Thank you all. We are thinking abt put forward a written statement as we have given a no comment interview. Please someone advise how detailed should a written statement be?
    That would depend on the details of the case. I am presuming that the duty solicitor advised a no comment interview and I would suggest that you speak to them or instruct a solicitor recommended on daftmoo for advice.

    I am no expert but I would imagine that there is no point giving them anything if they have already decided to charge your bf, if they want to re interview him then your solicitor will advise on the best course of action and perhaps get some more limited disclosure to work with.

    You could try searching daftmoo for the subject but Always get legal advice.
    Consider carefully what you post in public. To join secure closed forums for those falsely accused of historical sex offences visit :http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

  9. #9
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    I am astonished the the sol has not told you NOT to write to CPS.

    He's not been charged as yet?

    By the way, it's better to stick to the one thread so everything is in one place.
    Chris Saltrese Solicitors - private client only: http://www.chrissaltrese.co.uk ~ Email: c.saltrese@cssolicitors.net ~ Telephone: 01704 535 512:

    Private forums for those maintaining innocence of HISTORIC sexual offences: http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by YearsOfHell View Post
    Be guided by your solicitor.
    Never say anything without his/her say so.
    You could incriminate yourself unintentionally, or even give the complainant chance to change their story to fit your recollection of events.
    Speak to the solicitor before giving ANY evidence to the police!
    All the best
    YoH
    Thank you, our solicitor prepared a very detailed statement which I think is very unprofessional. Just want to see if detailed statement is necessary

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    [Two related threads merged into one]
    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by PleaseHelpMeGod View Post
    Thank you, our solicitor prepared a very detailed statement which I think is very unprofessional. Just want to see if detailed statement is necessary
    From personal experience i would say the following.

    The solicitor at the police station is not someone you can trust to act in your best wishes. Use them to answer your questions at the station but any more than that then i would be wary.

    In a world where the police love to charge and check evidence later, giving them what they want on a plate is a bad idea. Unless you have 100% proof that you could not have committed the crime then keep quiet, the chance of what you say coming back to tear you a new one in court is too high.

    Lastly, get a new solicitor!

  13. #13
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    You need a solicitor who specialises in false accusations. If the solicitor you had originally doesn't, look for another.
    'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

  14. #14
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    So sorry you guys are going through this. I can't even see the report and am getting everything from my nephew. We should have a right to know exactly what we are accused of but I can't see anything until after the investigation is over. I was going to go back to school to get my counseling degree but maybe I will go to law school instead. I don't know if you have more recourse in the U.K. after being found innocent but I know in the U.S. there really isn't. There need to be consequences so people would think twice.

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    No, there isn't any recourse against those who lie here either. The whole system is a shambles.

    One other thing - I know that you are desperate for information, but if your nephew is your niece's brother, you need to be not contacting him too. If you do, it's all just making it possible for them to make up more lies or to accuse you of harassment. You need to stay well away from everyone involved in this and let the process take its course. It's hard, but in your best interests so you can't be accused of anything more.
    'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

  16. #16
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    We are going back to police station in 2 days, and the police will tell us whether they are going to charge my bf

    ...... submitting a written statement to cps? We were considering to submit one, but we are not sure how detailed should a written statement be? Our solicitor think it should be detailed
    Your man has not yet been charged so the CPS are not involved in any way whatsoever.

    Who is this solicitor? Are you sure he has said you should write to the CPS?
    Chris Saltrese Solicitors - private client only: http://www.chrissaltrese.co.uk ~ Email: c.saltrese@cssolicitors.net ~ Telephone: 01704 535 512:

    Private forums for those maintaining innocence of HISTORIC sexual offences: http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rights Fighter View Post
    Your man has not yet been charged so the CPS are not involved in any way whatsoever.

    Who is this solicitor? Are you sure he has said you should write to the CPS?
    We will know whether we will be charged or not tomorrow. Really struggling to focus today at work. The cps should have reviewed the case and returned to police their recommendation by now we think. The written statement was a misunderstanding. I thought the solicitor wanted us to do a detailed written statement, but that turned out not the way he wanted. Not sure what will happen tomorrow, and police has been radio silent over last weeks despite our constant contacts. I thought they normally inform the solicitor what we should expect to happen a few days b4 the return?

  18. #18
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    It's so easy to get things confused

    You need to realise that some people can wait several months, some have waited around two years before getting a decision from CPS so please do not expect something now.

    Having said that, I do hope you are put out of your misery one way or another, soon.
    Chris Saltrese Solicitors - private client only: http://www.chrissaltrese.co.uk ~ Email: c.saltrese@cssolicitors.net ~ Telephone: 01704 535 512:

    Private forums for those maintaining innocence of HISTORIC sexual offences: http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rights Fighter View Post
    It's so easy to get things confused

    You need to realise that some people can wait several months, some have waited around two years before getting a decision from CPS so please do not expect something now.

    Having said that, I do hope you are put out of your misery one way or another, soon.
    Thank you. We haven't heard anything from the police yet apart from validating the bail date 2 weeks ago. Do police normally give a heads up one day b4 the bail date? Thank u

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    Quote Originally Posted by PleaseHelpMeGod View Post
    Thank you. We haven't heard anything from the police yet apart from validating the bail date 2 weeks ago. Do police normally give a heads up one day b4 the bail date? Thank u
    Depends on the police, some of them are none too thoughtful when it comes to giving notice of rebailing and sometimes I don't think they know themselves until the day approaches and they pick up the file.

    It's quite usual for an extended bail date to drop through the post with no warning or they may phone or email, either directly or through your solicitor if you have one. What I did was just to phone the OIC the day before to check when I hadn't heard anything.
    Consider carefully what you post in public. To join secure closed forums for those falsely accused of historical sex offences visit :http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

  21. #21
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    He just went in to the police station to answer his bail. I hope he walks out as a free man and we can get on with our lives. I pray to god that police will drop the case, he did nothing wrong. Why should he go through hell for something he didn't do?

  22. #22
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    Hopefully he returns with a smile on his face and this nightmare is over.
    Thinking about you both

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    Charged. Apparently they didn't want to charge him initially but changed mind later. The nightmare continues it seems.

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    Quote Originally Posted by PleaseHelpMeGod View Post
    Charged. Apparently they didn't want to charge him initially but changed mind later. The nightmare continues it seems.
    I'm really sorry to hear this but please remember that all is not lost. A charge does not mean a conviction.

    I am very concerned about how your solicitor has handled this. If they "didn't want to charge but changed their minds" then it would suggest the accusers evidence (story) is weak but by giving them nothing but a no comment interview he has effectively offered no evidence in his defence to refute the allegations.

    I suggest you seek new legal advice as soon as your heads stop spinning.

    Recommended sols can be found on this thread :

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors
    Consider carefully what you post in public. To join secure closed forums for those falsely accused of historical sex offences visit :http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

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    Oh, no!! :-( I'm so sorry. Now the fight starts in earnest though.

    Having a good, experienced solicitor will make all the difference and there's masses of advice and information on here that will help you through this. We are all here too, and will give as much emotional support as we can. Getting charged can be as much of a shock as the initial accusation, so take time to let it sink in and get back on an even keel before you try to do too much.

    As I understand it, the magistrates hearing is basically a formality and will be a couple of weeks away, so you have time to get your head around today's events.

    for you both.
    'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter1975 View Post
    I'm really sorry to hear this but please remember that all is not lost. A charge does not mean a conviction.

    I am very concerned about how your solicitor has handled this. If they "didn't want to charge but changed their minds" then it would suggest the accusers evidence (story) is weak but by giving them nothing but a no comment interview he has effectively offered no evidence in his defence to refute the allegations.

    I suggest you seek new legal advice as soon as your heads stop spinning.

    Recommended sols can be found on this thread :

    http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...ist-solicitors
    I think you are probably right. We have changed our solicitor, but it's too late to correct the damages made by duty solicitor

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    Quote Originally Posted by PleaseHelpMeGod View Post
    I think you are probably right. We have changed our solicitor, but it's too late to correct the damages made by duty solicitor
    It's not too late, a no comment interview is not fatal to your defence, especially as it was on the advice of a solicitor. You can simply say "I was badly advised".
    Consider carefully what you post in public. To join secure closed forums for those falsely accused of historical sex offences visit :http://www.pafaa.org.uk/wordpress/?page_id=729

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    Quote Originally Posted by Peter1975 View Post
    It's not too late, a no comment interview is not fatal to your defence, especially as it was on the advice of a solicitor. You can simply say "I was badly advised".
    Yes, but we are charged, meaning no job no pay no wedding. Nothing. We are screwed by the system. There is no Justics. I can't breath.

  29. #29
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    The system is awful but it can be navigated. As peter1975 says, a 'no comment' interview is not the end of the world. This whole sorry situation is not the end of the world.

    Please don't think me harsh or belittling, but this is all very likely a bump in the road of your life. It's terrifying I know, but a charge does not mean a conviction. You have time to sort out finances. No job means that legal aid is more likely. No wedding this year does not mean no wedding ever or no family ever. It means you have to put your plans on hold. You are young and stronger than you think. You really are. If all you can concentrate on right now is breathing, do that and breathe as deeply as you can. The panic WILL subside.

    If anxiety and panic are getting the better of you, don't be afraid to get help from your doctor. You need all the mental strength you can muster right now, but you CAN and WILL get through it.

    for you and your boyfriend.
    'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Franticwithworry View Post
    The system is awful but it can be navigated. As peter1975 says, a 'no comment' interview is not the end of the world. This whole sorry situation is not the end of the world.

    Please don't think me harsh or belittling, but this is all very likely a bump in the road of your life. It's terrifying I know, but a charge does not mean a conviction. You have time to sort out finances. No job means that legal aid is more likely. No wedding this year does not mean no wedding ever or no family ever. It means you have to put your plans on hold. You are young and stronger than you think. You really are. If all you can concentrate on right now is breathing, do that and breathe as deeply as you can. The panic WILL subside.

    If anxiety and panic are getting the better of you, don't be afraid to get help from your doctor. You need all the mental strength you can muster right now, but you CAN and WILL get through it.

    for you and your boyfriend.

    Thank you. I woke up this morning, continue to feel very depressed. I don't know how my bf feels. He is losing everything we built over the last 10 years. I feel really sorry for him. Who would know for one night we could lose so much and had to start again . It's really hard for both of us. I have to find a way to save him.

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