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Thread: Giving up hope..

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    3

    Unhappy Giving up hope..

    Hi
    I've been looking at the sight since October when my whole world fell apart.
    My 18 year old daughter accused my partner (step dad) of raping her.

    All sat down for dinner and she came out with it after an heated exchange about her going away to uni and us not being on hand to support. My partner completely denied it told me if I don't call the police then he will. Which I did, he has been bailed once already due to go back tomorrow.

    He had spoken to his solicitor earlier in the week he said he suspected that he would be bailed again.
    My daughter has been displaying odd behaviour she has both physically illness and I do believe mental too. I'm trying to get her the help she needs as well as remain impartial.
    The forensic did find traces on DNA semen on her duvet but I'm not totally convinced by this as she had our spare duvet as we had winter and summer ones she got a new double bed and just used the spare one.

    She never told me till a week after and is now living in supported accommodation for young people as she kept running away. She's gone on to sleep with 2 other individuals since this happened at the end of September. Would you really behave like this?

    I've had a very challenging week with her, and today it transpired that the police called her earlier in the week and told her not to say anything to me but they will be pressing charges. Isn't this a breech of rights? Surely the accused. Should be first to. Know? (However she could be lying)

    I'm totally wiped out with it all, partner is adamant he has never looked at her in that way let alone raped her, we were just about to start ivf, my daughter was an only child.

    Could she really be that against me to make all this up???

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    15

    Default

    hi and welcome.
    I'm in a similar situation with my daughter accusing my husband of inappropriate touching. My mind is in constant turmoil of 'one of them is lying'.You'll find this forum full of support whether you're a poster or a lurker (I do a bit of both).
    From my own experience I can only say it's a long journey and the absolute definition of 'emotional rollercoaster'
    Have a hug from me
    SL

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    3

    Default

    Thank you SL, I thought that I had already joined as a member but the past few months have been such a rollercoaster like you say. I'm trying to support them both as she is certain it happened and he is certain it didn't and as I was away at the time I honestly don't know. Only she knows for certain if this happened and him if he actually did it. Being stuck in between 2 people you love is so difficult,

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Posts
    55

    Default

    Hi In Despair 22. I am glad that you have found this forum, but sorry to welcome you here. What you are going through is awful, but you have come to the right place. There are some members on here that have been or are currently going through similar situations. So please don't feel like you are on your own. Only small comfort at the moment I know.

    You will get through this. Keep posting if it helps.
    Unforgiveness is like acid; it destroys the vessel in which it is stored. Author unknown.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    15

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by In despair 22 View Post
    Thank you SL, I thought that I had already joined as a member but the past few months have been such a rollercoaster like you say. I'm trying to support them both as she is certain it happened and he is certain it didn't and as I was away at the time I honestly don't know. Only she knows for certain if this happened and him if he actually did it. Being stuck in between 2 people you love is so difficult,
    I know how you feel - and you will be bombared with 'where's your motherly instinct' - keep strong, I know its hard to try and support them both

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    3

    Default

    What a long day.
    They've decided to charge him, he will appear in court next month.
    The only evidence they had was the DNA on the duvet.
    I'm some what releaved that they didn't find anything, I just hope that my instincts are right.
    I had decided that if NFA was taken today I would book myself a nice holiday somewhere hot instead I think I need to battern down the hatches and be prepared for the rough ride ahead.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    15

    Default

    Sorry to hear this - here if you need to rant (I dream of a holiday but know that's a long time away!)
    SL
    xx

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