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  • life after NFA

    sorry about my English, it is not my mother language


    hello
    After I got NFA from police and DI, my nightmare is still not over.
    An accuser is spreading a story that I am rapist and she is asking people to spread her story more. She even making a joke about me on her Instagram and I really don't know what to do.
    She kept sending a message like "are you happy?" and I am ignoring her but I keep hearing story about me all over the place and I cannot handle it anymore.
    Is there anyone who is suffering same pain as me? Any advice would be very appreciate. Thank you.

  • #2
    Hello palace. This is a horrible situation to be in I know. Unfortunately there's not a lot you can do. The important thing is that you know that you are innocent and the NFA reflects that.

    The best thing you can do is block the accuser so that you get no more messages from her. Not doing that keeps the door open for more accusations.

    As for what she is saying on Facebook and to her friends, that's best ignored too, if you can possibly manage it. Honestly, what her friends think and say is unimportant. I have a phrase I try to remember in these situations -

    What other people think of me is none of my business.

    It doesn't always make the hurt go away, but it helps me not take things to heart. Remember that there are people who know, love and support you. Those are the people's opinions who matter; no-one else.

    I hope this helps.
    'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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    • #3
      If you are a teacher you'd be protected by the education act as you'd have the right to anonymity - if you're not, I'm not sure of any other professions that are protected. I wonder what the possibility is of a solicitor's letter regarding possible action for harassment, defamation of character or libel/slander might be an idea? Sounds to me like she is bitter as a result of your NFA and realising that she is culpable if she harasses you (particularly since you have proof - don't delete anything). That would be costly just for a letter, but a threat is sometimes enough. But, I think Frantic is right - if they are friends then they will be by your side - if they are prone to believe allegations which have been proven to not have enough substance to pursue, then y'know - do you really need them as friends? I think not. Do not respond directly to her, cut her off and go live your life. You were NFA'd and not pursued by the CPS via a false claim, so enjoy it. Radical, alternative thought; get rid of facebook and all social media, because it is let's face it nonsense and get rid of your mobile phone or just switch it off! How much time do we waste on these things and how useful are they!

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      • #4
        Hi palace
        With regards to the direct contact:
        There's not much you can do except log all the direct contact and you may in the future need to take it further.
        It needs to be a course of conduct.
        This means there needs to be several (more than 2) direct contacts in quick succession (i.e. In the same week).
        Then the police can issue a warning to them.
        If they continue to bother you directly the police can prosecute them.
        However, this is a long and frustrating battle!

        With regards to the online attacks you must learn not to look at it, or listen to it.
        This is extremely hard when your innocent but you can do it.
        We are exactly the same position as you and its devastating!
        But you have to rise above it.
        Just treat it with the disdain that it deserves.
        It's **** - and doesn't even need acknowledgement.
        People will lie about you and spread gossip.
        You are innocent!
        Ignore it!
        Eventually they get bored when they see it's not affecting you how they want it too.

        Block everyone from bothering you and keep away from their rubbish!
        Big hugs
        YoH

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