Victimized by a false accusation - any advice?

[Lamont]

Hello everyone.

Like everyone else who has posted in this section, I have a most unfortunate story to share. I am a university professor who became involved with a graduate student (she was not taking a course with me nor was I her thesis advisor, so there was no conflict of interest). I had learned from a friend long before that this young woman had been infatuated with me for some time. Sure enough, she boldly asked me out one day, thereby launching a fling that I will regret for the rest of my life! Our first date went well, and entailed a lot of making out largely on her initiative. The second date later that week is when things would go awry... to put it mildly!!

After consenting to a sexual encounter and leading me to believe that everything was fine during our time together, she would later accuse me (via text message) of ‘forcing’ oral sex on her. Stunned by this accusation (as I mentioned, she showed no hint of being upset when we were together and enthusiastically engaged in further sexual activity after the act in question), I attempted to reach out to her only to be harshly rebuffed. She demanded that I leave her alone, and I complied. The bizarre and completely illogical experience left me shocked, confused, and distraught for weeks.

Fast forward one month. I am on the verge of getting over this ordeal when I receive a call from the Dean’s office at my university and a police detective informing me that this woman had filed an allegation against me. Most on this board can appreciate how horrifying this was! The accusation was so ridiculous that the police and the university investigation team were able to see right through it, resulting in my being fully exonerated by both bodies. Indeed, the police detective pretty much laughed off the accusation and assured me that no charges would be forthcoming.

Although I was exonerated by the university for which I work, I was horrified to learn that the complainant approached one of my colleagues with this bogus allegation. Not knowing what to do, this colleague then approached two other faculty members for advice, and two of these individuals brought the matter to the attention of the Dean (the investigating officers would not tell me who the faculty members are, but I can guess).

Upon the conclusion of the investigation, the investigating officers met with the three faculty members who know of this, informed them that the investigation team was satisfied that there was no wrong doing on my part, and swore them to secrecy where this matter is concerned.

At first glance everything might now seem fine, but my concern at this point is twofold. First, what do these senior colleagues now think of me given that they have only heard the complainant’s side of the story? Second, to what degree has news of this affair been injected into the bloodstream of my department? (The university administration assured me that it will do its best to control the rumor mill, but that can be like trying to control a raging bull!) Everyone has been prohibited from ever speaking of the matter, and I’m not sure how healthy that is where my reputation is concerned.

As most of you can relate, it’s indescribably traumatic and frustrating having your reputation destroyed by such a stigmatizing accusation when you’ve done nothing wrong. Has anyone on the board found themselves in a similar situation? If so, how did it play out? Any tips on how I might handle this ordeal?

BTW, to no surprise on my part, I would later learn that this young woman is a deeply troubled individual from alcoholic parents with a history of abusive relationships and a substance abuse problem.

Many thanks in advance for whatever advice folks can offer. Best of the new year to everyone.

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Lamont

I guess from your style of writing you are in the US. Our laws are different so can't advise you on a legal basis.

I think the only way you will find out what your two colleagues really think about the situation is to ask them. Do you get on with them usually? Do they know about the accuser's troubled past?

Hopefully you will have learned from this that casual sexual encounters with somebody you don't know well can often result in false allegations when the complainant feels "rejected" for whatever reason.

Good luck and I hope 2008 brings you closure

[Saffron]

Hi Lamont

If you do know who the 2 people are who raised this matter to the Dean, then i would try to approach them privately and ask them what their thoughts are. you will then be able to set straight any misinformation.

if this girl is clearly troubled (as she does seem to be) you may find that many people will take whatever she says with a pinch of salt. it is interesting to note that the colleague of yours she went to did not immediately call the police, but rather sought advice from someone else, who then went to the Dean.

the only other thing you can do is ignore it, hold you head high, and try not to let it worry you. I know it's easy to say, but short of making an announcement in the local paper, there is not a lot else you can do. this girl will not be at your University forever, and time changes a lot.

At the very least you can be glad that the matter did not go any further than it did.

Saffron

[Lamont]

Hi Saffron and RF,

Thank you for the prompt replies and the support. My inclination at this point is to ignore the situation and go about my business as usual. If something emerges related to this affair, I will take my colleagues aside to discuss the matter at that point.

It's surreal and ridiculous to find myself in this very awkward situation when I've done absolutely nothing wrong. What makes the matter worse is the fact that this young woman will get away with this childish action after putting me through the sheer hell that I've endured. Sexual assault is a very serious matter and it's distressing to see it trivialized by the ludicrous actions of self-serving individuals such as this woman.

Anyway, thanks again. And regarding my location, you're close RF. I'm actually in Canada.

[Rights Fighter]

Will this allegation remain on your record? It would over here.

The fact that this girl has done this to you now indicates it's not beyond the realms of probability that she will do it again to somebody else. Keep your ear to the ground because next time she might succeed in a prosecution (lots of money to be made in "compensation" for a false accuser - some people make a living out of it) and your experience might assist any potential defence.

[Lamont]

Good point, RF. This has struck my mind as well and I will certainly keep my ears open.

Re. your first question, the allegation will not appear on my record. I'm told that the notes related to the case will be locked away in a safe in the HR office so the university has a record that due process was followed, but it will never again see the light of day. My colleagues who know of this have also been warned that this matter is not to influence any voting related to my tenure and promotion. I'm strictly concerned about my reputation within the dept and my relationship with colleagues at this point.

[Rights Fighter]

I wish you the very best of luck. I am so pleased for you that it has worked out as well as it could have done. So many people are sitting in prison as I type this, who should not be there and all on the basis of lies. It's so sad.

[utterlydestroyed]

Good luck.

In Britain the UK police DO NOT handle such allegations with anything like as much tact.

...and in the United Kingdom it would remain on your record, even leading to being struck off professional employment...even where NO charges made...let alone NO conviction. I have been contacted by someone (via another website I post too) to whom this has happened. They have not worked since & it has effected their health.


False Allegation...it is abusive & violating EVERY bit as much as a genuine RAPE.

[Lamont]

I appreciate the good wishes. Thanks so much.

You're so right, a false allegation IS every bit as abusive and violating as an actual assault. And it's so easy for some jaded and troubled woman with nothing to lose to make a bogus allegation. This was definitely an eye-opening experience, to say the least!

I know many falsely accused individuals on this board have had unfortunate experiences with the police, and I feel for all of you. I was fortunate in that I was treated with the utmost repsect by the police. I am Black and my accuser is a white female 11 years my junior, so I was quite worried going in given that the presistence of racism within Canadian police forces is well documented. Still, I must confess to being treated very well, perhaps because the allegation was so ridiculous and transparent.

I'm back at work this week and things *seem* okay so far.... let's hope my colleagues are sufficently open-minded to at least give me the benefit of the doubt. If they are unable to reflect critically on the allegation made by this individual, this would certainly reveal a lot about the people with whom I work. Their refusal to give me the benefit of the doubt would also be an insult to my friends in the dept, as the implied assumption would that these individuals would associate with someone who would commit such a horrible act.

[Saffron]

Hi Lamont

Have you thought about pressing charges against her? I know that being falsely accused is a terrifying and deeply wounding experience. if you make a formal complaint against her it might help you achieve closure. It would also deter others from making a false allegation.

In the UK the police are reluctant to proceed against women who make a false allegation - even if it is flagrantly false. they believe it will deter the genuine survivors of rape from coming forward.

my personal belief is that false accusers not only cause misery for the people they casually accuse, but they also make it so much more difficult for genuine victims to get justice. If you were to proceed with making a complaint against her it would also serve as a public denial to any of your colleagues who may be in the "no smoke without fire" camp.

Just a thought. regardless of what you decide, I wish you good luck.

Saffron

[Lamont]

Interesting suggestion, Saffron. I didn't know a criminal charge can be made against a false accuser. What would the specific charge be?

I have thought of launching a defamation suit against her. She owns nothing, however, and would likely declare bankruptcy upon losing the case, leaving me stuck with the legal fees.

From what I've read, there's also a bit of a wrinkle in this case where taking legal action is concerned. To my understanding, one only has a case for a law suit if it can be proven that the complainant deliberately fabricated the accusation. In this case, however, from what I've been told, in this woman's disturbed mind I actually did do something wrong. A case can perhaps be made the she deliberately manufactured the allegation (and this could well be the case), but I imagine it would be tough to prove.

There's also the question of whether it's best to draw this out any further or just let it die. This is a very troubled young woman and the more forgiving part of me feels I should simply let it be and pray that she pulls her life together. I'm really not sure what the best course of action would be at this point.

You make a good point regarding closure. A woman who is assaulted/raped can get closure by having her assailant charged, convicted, and put in jail. People who are falsely accused, however, rarely achieve such closure.

[Rights Fighter]

Here in the UK one would contact the Crown Prosecution Service to request that the accuser be charged with a) perverting the course of justice and b) (if it went to trial) perjury. That's not to say they would agree to do so but it would be worth a try if you can do that in Canada.

If you lost anything such as family, wages etc due to the false allegations you might be able to sue for that but I think you would have to pay for your legal representation. Plus as you have mentioned defamation of character (slander) and if put in writing - libel. Just for starters.....

[utterlydestroyed]

Dear Rights Fighter

That I did NOT know... and yet I have been in communication with the UK CPS as the police where I live repeatedly IGNORE the CPS deffinition of a "HOMOPHOBIC INCIDENT" and Police also ignore the " TRUE VISION" policy on homophobic crime.

Now that is something I am interested in as there ARE witnesses to the false allegation and further physical & material evidence as well.

Quite frankly it is the UK POLICE who need prosecuting as they are failing in their 'duty of care' and do so frequently and repeatedly.

(Oh! Well done Canadian police for getting it right:- re. subject of thread)

[Lamont]

Utterly destroyed - I'm so sorry to hear about the unfortunate way in which the police have treated you. It's tragic when things like homophobia and racism impede the realization of justice. I hope everything works out for you and you manage to achieve some form of closure in the end. Good luck.

RF - I've done a little research and the Canadian equivalent to what you describe is known as a 'public mischief' charge. If I were to make a pm allegation, I wonder what the odds are that a charge will actually be laid??? (I infer that those odds aren't great in the UK.)

Let me reiterate how much I appreciate all of the wonderful feedback and support I've received on this board, and all of the sharing that goes on in general. I wish there was an equivalent board here in Canada.

[Rights Fighter]

Hi Lamont

Just sent you an email via this site

RF