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Scared and suicidal - Somebody help (FA sexual assault)

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  • An update

    So guys as I said I would, I pleaded guilty.

    I know this is something that everybody advises against but I just could not take the risk of prison and being away from my kids. Also my ex is very difficult and would have made my life a living hell if i had gone to jail for this.

    I do not seek to try and persuade people to plead guilty when they shouldn’t, however this was my choice and it’s like a huge weight has been lifted.

    The judge has been very kind and it is extremely obvious to everybody that the judge thinks this girl is a timewaster and that he feels bound by the law, he clearly knows I have pleaded guilty to evade jail... My barrister has said she will be very surprised if he sends me jail and I will maybe get suspended but most likely community order.

    Of course there was every possibility that the jury would find me not guilty... However I didn’t have much hope after endless ground rule hearings and talks of screens, intermediaries, victim tours of the court beforehand, being allowed a break during her evidence giving, a chance to read her statement again to refresh her memory bla bla blaaaaaaaa... Basically watching this girl get every single protection and privilidge the court could give, I started to realise that to an outside this girl looks so vulnerable and hard done by that it would probably be very hard not to believe her despite all the evidence... I am pretty sure many other men have felt the same, the justice system is wrong in its protection of these parasites.... I appreciate that the jury may have seen straight through her but I couldn’t take that risk

    The prosecution tried to argue for offences that would make this a different category offence such as ‘abuse of trust’. The judge laughed and said ‘I am going to take a lot of persuading that was in any way an abuse of trust’

    There’s certain things I can’t say at the moment in detail as I can’t be sure who’s reading these boards but I will come back after sentencing on the 5th March and explain further (assuming I’m not in jail)

    What I can say is that I am the happiest I have been in 16 months, I feel so relieved that it is almost over and that I did not have to stand in that dock with people looking at me like I’m some sort of nonce/perv... Maybe one day I will attempt to appeal (although I probably won’t get far) but for now I had to just get out of this situation for my own mental health, I am a diagnosed sufferer of schizoaffective disorder which isn’t just schizophrenia but manic depression with it and bouts of
    Psychosis etc etc... This looming trial was far too much for me and the added stress that my nightmare of an ex might find out about this allegation if I went to prison was just too much.

    What matters the most is that everybody who does know believes me 100% and me and my Mrs are happier then ever. Quite frankly I couldn’t care less what the rest of the world think, nor do I care what the officer says or thinks when I sign that register or the probation officer when I attend their meetings. I know I am innocent and I am happy with that... and in terms of my DBS/CRB - I never fancied living in the USA/Australia much anyway, nor do I have any interest in working with kids or the elderly.

    And for the record - I can assure you I did not plead guilty because ‘I am guilty’. I have explained my reasoning above

    More to follow
    Last edited by Fusiondoe; 19 February 2018, 11:19 PM.

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    • Really feel for you fusiondoe.

      Ultimately you had to make the decision that was best for you and I am pleased a weight is lifted from you. You clearly have additional mental health issues than most people suffer, and a trial is so stressful for even the most resilient of people. I can fully understand innocent men being driven to suicide by the stigma and shame of it all.

      I can honestly even believe that some innocent men end up believing they are guilty when the process steam rollers on regardless of the evidence being gathered pointing towards innocence. Sadly too often this evidence is lost or deliberately with held by the police.

      For me , my sons trial and the build up to it was the very worst experience I have ever had. I cannot imagine how it was for him. But he was rightly found innocent. Although I have little respect for the press, when we released a statement after the verdict the press reporter said he could tell daughter was lying as soon as she opened her mouth. 12 ordinary people saw it too, so ultimately justice was done.

      I wish you all the best for the future. I hope the tide will turn in how allegations of rape are handled. People are complainants until it is established there has been a crime. The police and CPS need a radical overhaul.

      Take care, and thanks for the update

      Comment


      • Fusiondoe. You have to do what you believe to be best for you and your loved ones, and you won't be the first or, regrettably the last, innocent person who feels pressured into pleading guilty. Your overall health is of paramount importance and as you say, you know the truth.

        I wish you well for your sentencing date and I hope you'll be able to come back and tell us the outcome.
        'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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        • Thinking of you today, Fusiondoe.
          'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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          • Bless you FWW.

            However it was adjourned today due to bad weather and my barristers other case which was snowed of last week continue today thus she was unavailable for mine.

            I am awaiting a new date. Will let you guys know

            X

            Comment


            • Originally posted by Fusiondoe View Post
              Bless you FWW.

              However it was adjourned today due to bad weather and my barristers other case which was snowed of last week continue today thus she was unavailable for mine.

              I am awaiting a new date. Will let you guys know

              X
              More waiting. :-( Hang in there. It must be hard not knowing your fate.
              'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

              Comment


              • 10 month jail sentence, suspended for 18 months. Community service, sex offender programme, register for up to 10 years, victim surcharge payment of 1150. Judge threw her compensation claim out.

                The judge also made it clear if it had gone to trial and I have been found guilty he would have sentenced me to a year inside so for me that’s enough proof I did the right thing pleading guilty... I know many disagree with the course of action I took but I have spent a very long time getting my kids back in my life and nothing was changing that, my ex would have absolutely destroyed my relationship with them if I had gone inside.

                I guess I have a small element of ‘what if I had gone not guilty’ but it’s too late now.

                I will stick around and assist others. Thank you all x

                Comment


                • It's not up to anyone to agree or disagree with you. It was your decision about your life and we will make our own decisions about our own lives. I hope that you can now get on with your life and have your children back in it in the way you wish.

                  Of course, the 'what-if's' will be around for a while, but as you say, it is done now. It sounds as though the judge was as lenient as he could be and at least now it is done for you as for as you are concerned. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. I wish you the very best possible under all the circumstances.
                  'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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