Bail date this week - confirmation CPS have reviewed

[Michellesmith3688]

Thankyou

Thanks for your advice, he has a solicitor im unsure on how good they are. If i think about it ive been left out of the process and been told minimal around the event. No the charge has come in theres lots of little white lies coming from the woodwork and my heart doesnt know what to believe. As much as i will always support him i thinkni need some space and time to get the situation straight in my mind. Theres going to be lots of things in court that i have to listen too which will hurt and although im over the initial cheating im unsure i can go through this with him. If that makes me a bad person then so be it.
Truly broken hearted

[Franticwithworry]

You are most certainly not a bad person if you are unable to support someone through this. It's a huge task even if you have 100% trust in that person's innocence and truthfulness. If doubts are creeping in and inconsistencies develop about anything at all, it's entirely justified for you to take time and space to give the whole thing pause.

It's much harder, I think, to support someone you don't know well and don't have a strong, solid relationship with; much harder to work out if truth was withheld because he wanted to protect you or lies were told, white or otherwise, because of a whole host of reasons. Embarrassment, hope the accusation would go away, not wanting to burden you, not wanting to lose you, or even not wanting to face the truth of his actions.

It's reasonable to want time to sort out what you think and believe. Harsh as this might sound, support through this kind of thing is earned, not automatic. Many people here have spent years and decades with their partner and because of that, know him inside out. Those years count, and even then, the supporting partner often questions the situation minutely. I did and know others did too. If you've only been with your partner a short time, you don't have the advantage that a long-standing relationship has and that's just a simple fact.


Don't beat yourself up over doing what you need to do. Relationships, short and long-term, founder over much less than this and supporting someone you don't fully trust is never a requirement.



Edited to add - support is here for you if you need it while you go through this turmoil. It's not an easy process to go through or decision to reach.

[Broken-hearted]

I echo what frantic with worry has said. She has a fantastic way with words and I know always makes me feel better!

You are not a bad person. Take the time you need to get things straight in your head. If you do decide to stand by him be that as a partner or a friend it would be good idea to get full disclosure of everything before the trial to prepare you as much as can be for the process and what will be said. Obviously it will not fully prepare you but at least you will be aware of evidence, statements etc etc.

Encourage him to join here if he hasn't already to get support and also gather information on solicitors etc to see if he has the best people to represent him.

You will be hurting at the moment. Have you got friends or family whom you can confide in who may help you clarify things? Take care of you xx

[Michellesmith3688]

How long to expect evidence statements?

Thankyou again. Im so grateful for your comments. The relationship was relatively new when this happenend and truthfully still is. I believe he has not done the things he is accused of but yes trust is a big concern for me.

Luckily enough i do have close friends and family that will stand by my choices however it's difficult to talk with them as i feel ashamed tho I shouldn't.
He is on here i found his posts and thats where i saw new information i hadnt been told before. I feel if he cant be hinest with me then is he being hknest with himself. I agree tho there are many reasons why he hasn't told me that could be perfectly explanatory but difficult to understand when I choose to stay around and fight.

He is meeting with his solicitor tomorrow to apply for legal aid and possible discuss the case. And at the magistrate court on Wednesday. How long before the defence recieve the information from the prosecution im unsure on this.

They were both influenced with alcohol so i think his version of events is unknown however he is adamant the accusations are false. What i know of him i could never dream his ex is telling the truth about the night in question.

Grateful for all advice
❤️

[Broken-hearted]

Did you challenge him in the differences in his posts to what he told you and what was his response?

Aw Hun you don't have to feel ashamed but I can understand what you mean. Can always ralk on here to people who aren't going to judge you and only want to help also none of us know you so that sometimes makes it easier to be honest about how you are feeling.

From what I read on here it seems like it can be a while before defence get full disclosure from prosecution which seems really unfair xx

[Michellesmith3688]

Did you challenge him in the differences in his posts to what he told you and what was his response?

Aw Hun you don't have to feel ashamed but I can understand what you mean. Can always ralk on here to people who aren't going to judge you and only want to help also none of us know you so that sometimes makes it easier to be honest about how you are feeling.

From what I read on here it seems like it can be a while before defence get full disclosure from prosecution which seems really unfair xx

Yes i did question him about the post. His reply was basically that im going to hear alot of things i dont like it wasnt going to be easy.
I do believe he has just tried to protect me from his unfaithfulness that night ending in a total nightmare. Ill post again when i have an update, magistrates weds and i have said i would support him however i think for now it will just be as friends.

I couldnt be more thankfull for this forum it really helps me see clearer and less stressed.

Regards
Xxx

[Broken-hearted]

Ok lovey take care xx

[Fusiondoe]

Yes i did question him about the post. His reply was basically that im going to hear alot of things i dont like it wasnt going to be easy.
I do believe he has just tried to protect me from his unfaithfulness that night ending in a total nightmare. Ill post again when i have an update, magistrates weds and i have said i would support him however i think for now it will just be as friends.

I couldnt be more thankfull for this forum it really helps me see clearer and less stressed.

Regards
Xxx

Hey

Any update?