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  • #16
    Thinking of you broken-hearted. I hope the bail appointment went ok. Big virtual hugs to you and OH.

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    • #17
      Hope all is ok ?? Thinking of you. x

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      • #18
        May I add my best wishes & heartfelt thoughts for the best of outcomes.

        Mr B

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        • #19
          We are at the end of the week so I hope the date came and went as smoothly as possible for you.
          'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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          • #20
            Rebailed

            Got notified this morning that he does not need to attend and that bail is being varied until December! That will be 7 months since allegations

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            • #21
              Frantic with worry just read your last post on here I agree that there must be something to be learned it's just hard to see it sometimes and will take time to trust people again although doubt will ever trust to the level I did before. You will both get through it! It did bring a tear to my eye your comment about the children and grandchildren only being lent it's awful.

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              • #22
                They seem to make it as difficult as possible, don't they, Broken-hearted? I'm sure they could say somthing before the actual date so we weren't fretting right up to the last minute. I hope you have a bit of peace for a few weeks now, until it all builds up again of course. :-( The next date for us is December too so we'll be hanging in there with you.

                Take care and love to you both.
                'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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                • #23
                  And what a ****ty month for it to be in! Any month is **** if it's unfavourable outcome but in the lead up to Christmas just think it will be worse although I don't know what sort of a Christmas we will have now anyway.

                  We can hold each other's hands through December then! I don't know what I'm dreading more a decision before or it being extended again. Feel bad as I won't be with him tonight but I know he is seeing his friends and I will be seeing him again tomorrow. Just feel I never seem to be in the right place at the right time.

                  Yes they must have known this is what they were going to be doing as you don't suddenly realise on the day that you don't yet have everything that you need. Think we are just holding on to each other by a thread.

                  Love back to you two too xx

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                  • #24
                    It's flipping rubbish that we are left to fret in the build up and then just told on the day that it's being extended. Really feel for you. Did they give any indication of where they are with you?

                    I can really relate to the trust issue you speak of. We dearly loved the FA, she was one of the people I've been closest to in my life. Just cling to each other, you will get through it.

                    Yes you will probably be a bit less trusting but I think it will also heighten awareness of the good and simple things in life. Stay strong and I'll be thinking of you both.

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                    • #25
                      Honestly, we were dealing with this last Christmas and it was much less awful than we thought it would be. We made a conscious decision to not let it get in the way of enjoying the holiday, and it worked. Supportive people helped too in lots of little, and not so little, ways. I think life is much more of an effort when you have to deal with this stuff but it can be done.

                      If we get that far it will be the second Christmas we have dealt with so I suppose we're relatively old hands at it. :-) We've done everything now - birthdays, all the holidays, etc, so this is the second time around. It doesn't make much of a difference, but it is making a little. At least our emotions know what to expect these days. I still think it's taking a toll on our health, but we'll be able to measure that when this is done, as it will be, one way or another, one day. I keep telling myself - this, too, will pass.

                      I just wish it wasn't so bl***y slowly!!
                      'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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                      • #26
                        Just still waiting on electronics and other things ridiculous.

                        How's things going your end Jan11? Last post of yours I read said about cps likely to have a decision before the next bail date?

                        Love This forum

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                        • #27
                          The second Christmas frantic with worry? Oh my! I am not looking forward to it mainly because I am going to have to split my time between the two and think I will feel bad for whichever one I'm not with at the time so don't think I'll enjoy much of it. His family don't know either so that means having to come up with a reason as to why they won't be seeing my daughter. At least if got a no further action he would be telling them to avoid having to lie to them any more.

                          I know what you are saying about health and guess time will tell the impact that this will have on everyone going through this it does worry me with stress being linked to so many serious conditions. I'll be getting in the saddle later so that will give an hour or respite from it all

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                          • #28
                            Teenagers are a law unto themselves, and it wouldn't be far from the whole truth to tell them that she just doesn't want to see them, being she's at the age she's at. In essence that is the truth.

                            Anything that takes your mind off things for been a short while is good for you, so enjoy you hour or two.

                            Best wishes to jan11 too, and I hope you get the promised news soon.
                            'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Broken-hearted View Post
                              Just still waiting on electronics and other things ridiculous.

                              How's things going your end Jan11? Last post of yours I read said about cps likely to have a decision before the next bail date?

                              Love This forum
                              Me too. Without it I'd be lost. One of the best things about it is it enables me to give OH good advice. When he was having a really low day I showed him some of the messages posted here, it really gave him a lift. So thank you.

                              We're still waiting to hear. OIC thinks there will be a decision before the next bail date which is in November. We live in fearof the phone ringing!

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                              • #30
                                Oh god Jan I bet you are dreading the phone ringing! Not sure which is the worst waiting for the bail date to hear or knowing that they could drop it on you whenever. Always that dread of the postman too.

                                I know ffw just don't want to hurt them anymore than all this will do when we tell them. I'll probably say she has gone to her dads or something.

                                Feel not very supported in home life. My parents and sister don't really see partner much now which he finds hard but has said he's accepted. Really upsets me. They have said they don't know if he has done anything or not but why would she lie. Just keep thinking what a **** life this is going to be moving forwards. Mum said today surely if there wasn't anything police wouldn't be dragging it on but then I think if there was slam dunk evidence then they would have charged him by now as it would be an easy case.

                                Fed up of meetings with professionals commenting on my daughter and her as a person when they do not even know her. A few hours with someone does not make you an expert on them. And it's so infuriating that she doesn't get challenged at all and I can't do it as can't be seen to be coercing/influencing her.

                                The other thing I don't get is when she comes to the house when he's at work she is quite happy to be up in the room where it allegedly took place and has no opinion on me still being around him. She also just randomly drops it in to conversation with friends online like she is bragging about it and seeking attention from them.

                                Just feeling riled by my "family" today

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