accused of event more than 25yrs ago !!!

[Franticwithworry]

Be gentle with yourself - 3 weeks isn't long enough for this trauma to settle. Yes, the questions will churn over and over in your brain relentlessly, but there are strategies you can use to take your mind if things even if only for a short time to start with.

We are all much stronger than we think. Browse the threads a little and you will see what others do and may get some inspiration. Exercise or anything that concentrates the mind are good starts.

You can and will get through this, and we are all here to hold your hand along the way.

[Jan11]

Please give yourself some more time. As fww said, three weeks is a short time to come to terms with these sorts of allegations.

Talk to people you can trust, exercise, keep busy, give yourself time to rest, scream expletives at an empty field. ... whatever works for you. I've found all of these helpful at various times as well as speaking to my gp.

I promise you - it will always be there, but those dark early days will get better. Plus you have found this forum and the fantastic people who know exactly how you are feeling.

Keep strong.

[Broken-hearted]

So sorry that you are finding things difficult at the moment I think I speak for everyone on here when I say we have all been there. I like you questioned when we would start to feel better. We are 5 months down the line now and it doesn't occupy ever waking moment but I did write on here having a wobble as bail approached.

I don't know when things changed but we started to notice that we had gone a little while without talking about it or googling stories online.

Keep taking to those who you trust and come here often. Like the others have said find something that occupies your mind. We had the same worries about holidays etc but decided to book one in February obviously with the risk that he could be charged before then which would ruin the holiday but have to try and carry on with life as we only get one chance. Franticwithworry tells me that there must be something to gain from this experience as horrible as it is and I think she is right if nothing else you will learn how strong you can be.

Take care xx

[Mr B]

Having lost everything (The wife being the FA), my daughter, house, possessions, friends & neighbours (I still have my job), it is bad but you can still breathe through it. So fear of fear & the question "why" are the only things that can really touch your mental state.

Rationalising why & how it was done has kept me on the planet. However I only have the contents of my wardrobe & work related kit that was re-issued.

So you can go on living with literally everything taken away from you. You can. I did not say it was pleasant. However you can beat it all.

HTH
Mr B

[falseaccused9390]

Update

Just thought I would keep you all updated.

Solicitors have now obtained witness statements from individuals who confirm 100% this could not have happened, in essence that they were always present in the house when I was there .. . these people are professionals of impeccable character and would have no reason to ever lie.

We also found considerable information on the FA via numerous social media and general background checks to confirm the FA has a history of making allegations, she is a disturbed individual who for the last 4years has been involved with a massive battle with social services to get 4 kids back and I am not sure how I have got entangled into this ... we suspect it could be a way in for future damages claims but no proof of this.

So - the statements went to the police (and solicitors other comments) last week and I spoke with the OIC who confirmed receipt and stated they had now filed a report for the boss to see if (1) it should be NFAd or (2) it should goto a CPS lawyer.

They would not give me any indication on how it would go, I suppose this is right but soooo frustrating !


In my mind, and I may be reading too much, the information provided by solicitors had multiple things in and more importantly that the dates were years out ... now surely if the police were taking her allegations seriously they would have gone back and revisited her to check this ? and then maybe reinterview me ?
So the fact they haven't bothered doing this ... do you think this is a good sign that they know its all a pack of lies by the FA ?

I suspect the police already know the dates are years out as they would have obtained care records and medical ones at the time ... (this investigation has been going on for 18months, although I only got spoken about early sept) .. and after my interview I was told the delay in interviewing me was caused by awaiting all these records

The police said they would call me hopefully this week, or early next week as they understand its on my mind and that I just want to know !!

[terrifieddad]

I wouldn't read anything into it one way or the other. The police are quite happy to press ahead even when they know it's a pack of lies. I doubt that the police would NFA you without sending the file to the CPS first. CPS is *supposed* to make a decision within 6 weeks, but it is rare to get a decision any earlier than that. They have three choices: recommend a charge/charges, recommend NFA, or tell the police that they need more information to support a charge. It is at this stage the police may start getting serious about gathering evidence, but the only evidence they are interested in is anything that might help secure charges and ultimately conviction.

I can't see them proceeding on the basis of a 4 page statement. They will (if they haven't already) get the FA to do an ABE interview (achieving best evidence). My case is very different from yours, but in my case I was interviewed before she was on the basis of some scribbled notes. My FA was interviewed almost 2 weeks later. Plenty of time time for any inaccuracies to be ironed out before the big interview which serves as her official statement and her evidence in court, due to "special measures". You are not given the chance to rebut this evidence before court, unless of course the police believe that reinterviewing you will help them. So much of her story changed in between, but I was charged without being given such an opportunity.

I am now a little over 6 weeks from trial with two counts that would be laughable to the average person but one count that has proof of intercourse and no evidence of force or coercion other than her word. My FA is my wife, and like Mr B above, I have lost everything. This includes any future career because of the charges, even if I'm acquitted. But life goes on and I am determined to enjoy the next six weeks. If the worst happens, at least I won't regret wasting my freedom. If justice is done and I'm found not guilty, I will have a lot of hard work to do to rebuild my life, so won't have much time for enjoyment for the foreseeable future. Make every day count. Let's face it and every day you waste on worry is a little victory for the FA.

[falseaccused9390]

Just had a call from police .... they have advised NFA



They left a message and have to call the OIC after 3pm for more information ... but no further action

Will update all later tonight with that they said - at the moment I feel very strange - not sure if its happiness, sadness, elated or deflated ... cant describe .. whilst I thought I would feel over the moon, I strangely don't even though I should as I knew I didnt EVER do anything wrong

But in the meantime and in tradition, a few more bananas

[Mr B]

Dear falseaccused9390

May I say congratulations. In the absence of more esteemed company than me, may I be the first to convey the sacred

Take care, come back often. Make sure you tie off loose ends. Well done...

Kindest regards
Mr B

[Rights Fighter]

Great stuff!

[Casehardened]

Brilliant news....remember that today is the first day of the rest of your life!!.....and btw...

[Franticwithworry]

Fantastic news! Here are some more for your collection -

[falseaccused9390]

I have now spoken with the OIC and as I mentioned before the complaint was made to police in about June 2015 .. so the police had done all their investigations before speaking with me.

The "victim" stated I had raped her on numerous times when I revisited a foster home - she got the dates wrong by 2yrs and when she was in care she was involved in prostitution so the careplan ensured she was never left alone - so I suspect the police obtained all her care records and knew the dates were way off.
Anyway they were missing statements from the foster parents as the police couldn't find them - luckily I still have their contact details but obviously not on me at time of original interview as I didn't know what they wanted to talk to me about.

We did some research on the accuser and she is a total fruit loop, multiple FB and twitter account .. it appears that she has 6 or 8 kids, 4 are off her and she's in a massive battle with social services and I was used as some pawn in her twisted tale of woe.

I contacted Chris Saltreese to get statements from the foster parents and that proved critical as they were able to add more meat to just basic statements - the OIC confirmed that some statements just say "this couldnt have happened" however the statement Chris took said this and also gave info as to why it couldn't have .. this supported what the police already had .. the police didn't say too much but what the FA stated could never have happened and with her contradicting version of events and life in general plastered all over social media and other sources ... it cant be changed later.

I think the motto here is if you have witnesses that you can call then maybe get your solicitor to get the statement off them, the police will ask questions they want and word in a certain way .. your solicitor will work for you ... yes it may cost money but in the long term to get things over quickly is well worth it.

Research your FA ... I dont mean just look on the first few pages of google ... dig deep (page 89-90) - use other search engines, you will be amazed at what comes up - different spellings of name etc...
Search twitter - facebooks .. check every single friend of theirs ... do they have a friend or friend to you ...
check wordpress and other blogs - just to see if there is anything that has been posted even years ago about the FA life ... these screwed up people often rant and then forget they have done it, the internet is bad for many things but sometimes useful .. once its out there its out there.


The police were fine for me, they treated me with respect (I suspect they knew all the time the FA was taking total rubbish and merely had a process to follow) - they have investigated as they have to and did the right thing by interviewing me at the end of their investigation - no trick questions ... I may have been lucky but can only speak for my own experience.

The solicitor did give me some words of wisdom -- when I had the original allegation many things go through mind and generally "i will get sent to prison for something i didn't do" and "there must be hundreds of innocent people in jail" and whilst there are many in jail he advised there is usually other bits of evidence and facts not known to the public when the hype of historical sex allegations are made.
Things like "it happened every Tuesday when the kids were out" or "i remember the six o clock news coming on" and its usually these things that result in convictions .... In my case as I know it didn't happen there could not have been any of these things.
You cant plant evidence (generally) from 20+ years ago and the larger the lie the larger the cracks are.


Sorry for rambling, its been a weird day - emotions everywhere ... to all those who will be falsely accused after me .. please do not stop believing in your own innocence, take help and advice from others who truly know you and know you didnt do it.

[YearsOfHell]

The whole system sucks!
But we have these:

YoH

[Staystrong1]

fantastic news and well done for standing strong and fighting your corner.
Chris saltrese represented OH and can firmly recommend him too. Totally agree you must leave no stone unturned to defend your self against a FA. IT can be done

Enoy the moment and take care of yourself

[mickw]

Having gone through this nightmare myself. I would advise as others have to spend time digging into what could be used by your legal team by way of evidence. I did this and it saved me from a fate worse than death. My FA stated that I would abuse her most mornings at around 7-30 am. I remember that at the time I had a paper round 7 days a week and was out the house from 6-30 am until 0830 am. It was a long time ago in the 1960s, but found out that the son of the guy I worked for still ran the Newsagents. I visited him and he remembered me. What was even better was he had all his dads old books and clearly showed that during the time I worked he recorded all the boys in and out times. Absolute gold in my case.

Mick