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  • Spiteful ex

    Hi all to cut along story short, I was with a woman whom I went with after I split with a previous relationship, we got married very quickly and I was first told when I met her as she had two children already that both were from the same dad and I also had a son from my previous relationship which broke my heart when I lost seeing him daily to then be first hit wth a set of false allegations by the first ex pre meeting my now ex wife....so I manged successfully in court with the first ex to get regular unsupervised access to my son which was 5 days out of 14 and this went on for nearly 2 years.

    When I got with this new woman I cried on her shoulder told her how hard it was losing my son and that it hurt and I confided in her about all the lies that were made in that case, it was purely a family court case and my ex in that case agreed there was no welfare concerns and hence access granted.

    I told this new lady now my ex wife I didn't want another child and since we met she immediately got pregnant and I was shocked and to be honest devastated as I wanted to focus on growing the son I already had and felt bad he wasn't with me all the time so wanted to be best dad I could and dedicate my life to the days I had him.

    So I didn't want the new baby at first, we went to the abortion clinic but decided we both didn't agree with abortion and then we decided to have the baby.

    During this time and as time went by cracks started appearing with my now ex wife, she was jealous perhaps I spoke about my son so much and she would never allow me to talk about him so when I had contact he would never come to her house and I only let him see her a couple of times.. She wanted me to play dad to her children which is fine but not to have any involvement in mine and anytime we were asked how many children we have mine was never added to the number and to this date I don't think her family ever knew I had a son as it was like I couldn't bring him into this marriage.

    One night she got angry and called the police after an argument because I wanted to leave her house and I to this day am baffled why she did it, again we had an argument and to protect myself I called the police in order to be able to leave the house as she wouldn't let me, as I did she hit me on the face and when the police came they had the information on the radio as they heard it but I decided not to press charges as she was a support teacher for autistic kids and had a crb check so I felt that as a single mum if I left her she would have no job so I decided not to press charges but had a crime reference and cad number which is the reference number of the police call.

    Anyway fast forward we got back together as she came and said sorry and would never hit me again and she was pregnant so I wanted to do the right thing and more information came out about her past and it turned out she was married twice before and both children were from different dads and she said that both kids suffered abuse, I was surprised that both children had different dads as I am more traditional but at the same time accepted this and believed every word she said about her bad past from one of the children being locked in a cage to another being beaten for crying and I felt sorry for her.

    As time went by we argued more and these arguments would spill out sometimes in front of the children which in time I stopped and made sure our arguments were private as it wasn't fair on them but the way the argument would start it in the bedroom away from them and when I got upset and left the room they'd only hear me being upset. Now as I said I fixed that and ensured we both argued in private .

    Anyway back to fast forwarding more cracks started to appear, she wouldn't let me buy anything for the baby, my son was mine and hers were hers she said. She wouldn't let me speak about my boy, it was if her face became someone else when she got angry and just after the baby was born (which sounds bad I know) I decided that if I couldn't be in one sons life is have to leave her and be in the middle for both as I love my other son so I decided to leave her.

    That same day she rang my ex who she didn't know and made false child allegations that I am unfit to be a parent and she was upset I was off to see my son which was part of the court order so had enough and left her. Not knowing she had contacted my other ex who she didn't know but got her info from the court files I left around the house out of spite she made these accusations.

    That night when I dropped my son back i didn't realise that would be the last time I see him. The same night she got a friend to mediate to get me back with her I said she crosses a line by lying in my other sons case and no I can't. The next day she came to my house and we called tw police twice on her who didn't come so I had to take her home as she had my son outside and she bought we'd get back together so sent another message to my other ex saying it was all false what she said but by then my line was crossed and knowing my other ex he would run with it as she wanted me out of her life too with my son so she could move on with her new boyfriend

    For several days after I refused to give in to her, I told her I would think about it and a week later I got arrested for domestic violence which I never did and by this time contact with my other son was stopped for these lies.

    I got interviewed and even the officer said it sounds like rubbish and I was refused charge. My ex contacted me again and by this time I already asked the same interviewing officer to refer me for an injunction on her.....and as i said the next day she started harrassing me again by email and a day later my solicitor who was ccd (family solicitor who was in charge off my other case? Sent her a warning email saying it was disturbing how much she is contacting me and she would apply also for injunctive relief against her if it didn't stop. The next day all was silent, I already managed to get some success by getting my other son on supported contacted due to the DV allegations with the view to resume as normal after a cafcass section 7.

    The day after my solicitor told her stop or else she messaged my other ex saying I don't know how to say this but I raped her (the day after my sol emailed her stop) so she was angry and got spiteful again.

    Anyway I didn't know this message was sent till I saw the messages at an emergency family hearing for my son as contact was again stopped "in light of new allegations@ both me and my family sol were unaware.

    Fast forward a couple days later (a week after the first set of false allegations were dropped) the door knocked again and I was being arrested for rape. I got interviewed, she said I forced her to have sex with me and I did this 3 days after giving birth and the day she went in to labour (which we did have sex but it was consensual) I didn't want to but she had a high sex drive and said it was good for the baby and it's normal to have sex whilst pregnant which even though I didn't want to have Alex my premonition of possible labour was correct as her waters broke. Now all times we had sex were closed sensual and try said post birth I raped her 3 times I said we had sex once about two weeks later as she had no stitches etc and said she wanted it and came on to me like she always would and it was consensual and I was worried about it again so always let her put me inside.

    Anyway so the story so far I left her on one day , the same day she reached out to my ex out of spite and mirrored and made further false allegations to her knowing my other case, then made one set of false allegations against me for DV a week later and a week after that got me arrested for rape..

    After the interview I was bailed to come back after the case was referred to the cps and by this time social services were also involved due to false allegations the lot.

    So now I am on bail, in this time whilst this was going on I was applying for a non moleststion order on her, ran back to the police whilst the harassment post first arrest was going on to speed it up and get my sol to write to her to stop then before you know it I got served with a non mol ex parte mine was applied before hers but I told the truth and mine was put on notice however hers said I was going to kill her although not true and was granted.

    Since then I have an undertaking on her as the judge didn't want it to continue in court the injunctions case so knowing this was the first battle post arrest and bail won.

    Since then I had a hard and wierd call to make to her second previous ex husband as I was told stories about him and wanted to know the truth about this woman and to my shock of which I am in reciept and have passed to the police all of this and he too is into custody with them that all 3 ex husbands she has with each child as soon as the relationship breaks down she issues an ex parte injunction on them, now she came to my house the day after I'm alleged to have wanted to kill her why would you do that f true and it gets worse she has made allegations of DV and got ex parter injunctions on all 3 dads for alleged abuse to her and the children so to me it seems when the relationship breaks down she cuts the dads out of the children's lives by getting non mol orders.

    Now I was unaware any of the children's dads had this and I have all court papers to show this from both cases as the second ex has passed them all to me and the police and said all bar the rape allegation I have it all sounds similar to what happened to him, she made a lot of allegations against him however he is in the USA so didn't get a chance to fight it but is now a staunch witness in my case as he wants to see his son too and knows her and that he is a very clever liar and removes the dads each time the marriage is over.

    Now the only difference with my case is I'm on bail for rape so my assumption is she couldn't get me one week with false DV she had to go again and cry rape.

    Now none of these kids have seen their dads and she gives the impression the dads do not want to be in their lives but I have heard a different side now from her second ex and it's her who has he issues.

    I was told the other child's dad would see him and run but not knowing why like her son I too was brainwashed he didn't want to be in the child's life but now I know why she had an injunction on him...

    So 3 guys 3 kids 3 injunctions.

    Now I have also been told and I witnessed this also she started laying certain things down randomly like saying her son is going to the social services for no reason I could understand to make a complaint about me, he is basically her mouth piece, this was confirmed when speaking to the second husband as he used to say a lot of the trash about him so all I can say is all kids are being brainwashed and she sat in that meeting and she did a similar thing when her to her ex left her in America she went to a on and refuge and claimed abuse all to make her story more real...

    So anyway I left her this is when all this hit the fan, I was hit, emotionally abused but as a 6ft 3 guy all I could think is I will be perceived as the bully by her children who would be her only witnesses and maybe my previous ex just to get her way in the other court case as they would see me get upset with her but not know why, she didn't like me talking about my son and that's why I left her as the day I left she was upset I was going to see him.

    So yes it sounds bad I left her as soon as we had a baby but firstly I didn't want a child secondly she didn't want my current child and yes I did stay with her to try and assist and be a dad to all the kids but because she didn't want my other son involved I decided to leave and be in the middle for both so from not wanting a child, being surprised about it she has now twisted it and using my new son against me for welfare issues which since the social services have written a letter saying there is no evidence but my worry is even though I am innocent my worry is her and my other ex who she speaks to like a best friend now will make anything up together...

    All I have is her ex husband who is going to be a witness in any case I have family or criminal who will fly over to say she did this to him (minus the rape allegation) and we have the court documents to show she alleged similar on the first husband so to me it's her way of moving on and curtain the dads out and saying what she wants and people believing her

    So now I have lost my other son fully till his is all done and it pains me I love him so much but what kind of woman can do this.

    So I am siting depressed on bail I just hope the police take the information given by the other ex etc and the fact I have him and my other ex wife of 5 years and her son who are on standby to come to court if necessary to say I'm not a bad person and not a rapide and my ex wife was actually raped! So this is where I am at, I have lost access to my children my phones been siezed, I said to the police this woman's like the black widow and I said to them 3 times a marriage break down 3 times a set of allegations and if my allegations were real why not mention them when you got me arrested a week before you wasn't scared then to make trash up so now I'm here and my bail is 2 more months , it's been 4 in total and my case for referred to the cps straight after the interview which scares me as I read others don't so why is mine believed?

    Anyway that's my story I had my cafcass section 7 yesterday also which I think will not be great as they mentioned all these allegations and these two women are mirroring a lot of each other's bits (the other ex said I hit her once which I didn't and shouted at her which I did but we both did) but to think I told one woman my weaknesses and pains from another case could do all of this and then realise all except the rape part she has done twice before am I in a better position having her ex husband on my team? Will the police even listen to what's we passed them, I never knew this man before and it's exactly what happened in 80% except the rape to him and we have the papers showing it happened before too.

    3 abusive guys? 3 injunctions ?

    Anyway that's my story sorry for the duplications thanks all this board has gave me hope

    Nothing was ever said pre break up all post yet the police believe her and I've lost confidence in them now

  • #2
    I also found out she was a female escort previous and was painted a completely different picture which broke my heart further as I never actually knew the woman I never would have went web her and this is the price I pay for leaving her.

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    • #3
      Hello and welcome to the forum,

      Just to clarify, is it your Ex#2 who has alleged that you have raped her & Ex#1 who has made the DV allegations or did Ex#2 allege both DV & rape?

      EDIT to add that the police have now been directed to believe the 'victims' as a matter of procedure no matter what they may think privately of the allegations, so don't be too disheartened by their apparent reaction.
      Last edited by Casehardened; 13 August 2016, 12:11 PM.
      'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

      Comment


      • #4
        Hi thanks for replying ..

        Ex number 2 made both allegations to the police a week apart the DV ones got dropped and refused charge so she went and made a second set or allegations of rape.

        My first ex said in her civil papers in the family court there was DV but police were never involved as they were also untrue and just a manoeuvre to get weight to her case at the time but I still got contact and she left them where they were and it's only since my secon ex got involved and contacted her ex number 1 raises them at the family court again and contact was stopped because ex number 2 made more allegations all of which are false out of spite to her about mistreatment and some spiteful ones against my son in that case which again were untrue but ex number 1 ran with them but police were and have never been involved with the police it's just now for the family matter I have two saying things.

        My point is why would ex 2 when she went to the police station to make a set of allegations against me didn't she mention rape that day if I did it she didn't and only done it because she couldn't get the DV allegations to stick and from what I have seen in all previous court papers against her previous exes every time she splits with her partner she makes these allegations all of which I have passed to the police to show the pattern and also her previous husband has said to the police similar happened to him and he will testify in court to say she is dangerous and calculated and did similar to him with no basis, he only never contested it as he is a resident in the USA but now we are both in a similar boat we will figh for access to our children after so it's ex number 2 that made both sets criminally , ex 1 just added them to our originally family case but since ten agreed contact ad only brought them back to the family court as she now has ex 2 saying things and ex 2 I confided in and she knew what was said in the other exes case and is attempted to make hers look real, my only ace card is her ex husband an my other ex wife of 5 years who was raped and her son (my stepson) who will come to court if necessary to be a character witness to say I am not this man and I have a friend who witnessed ex 2 threaten me on the phone several times so hopefully I am ok but it's the spite I can't believe it handle not only is she being spiteful.

        So ex 2 made two sets of allegations a week a part my point is of they were true she would have made them the first one she went to the police if I was this big bad wolf she attempts to portray

        So I hope the police see through this and the fact her ex husband before me is stating she is a serial liar

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        • #5
          This is the first time out of her 3 husbands she went and cried rape... Previous it was alleged abuse but my family and I see it as she couldn't get me with the DV like she did twice before so had to up the ante....

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          • #6
            All allegations were made after over a week of leaving of which in that time I have proof she wanted and was begging for me to come back but she did too much wrong and crossed op many lines I finally said no

            Comment


            • #7
              lol, I added my edit the time as your reply....

              My query re the DV allegations was because it gives more power to the prosecutions case if they can produce a second complainant with similar allegations.

              However it seems that you can easily demonstrate that both sets of allegations are motivated by ulterior motives (custody issues/revenge etc) so I guess you, like so many others, will have to endure the waiting game to find out what is going to happen

              NB my my mobile internet is very flaky atm so may not be able to reply immediately, however quite a few members have been in similar situations to yours and will no doubt be along to offer support
              'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

              Comment


              • #8
                Yes thanks for replying..

                The same lady made both sets of allegations a week apart to the police after I left her. There was some DV allegations made in my other family case which my first ex didn't follow up and agreed contact so those are historic and untrue although this second ex is being clever to try and mirror certain elements but I had proof from we ex husband she has non moleststion orders and allegations on all 3 dads when the relationship with her breaks down so yes all police allegations were made by evil ex number 2.

                The case was sent to the cps I heard not all cases go to the cps so they must think I did it which makes me worry as I didn't do it and now the police said it will be reviewed by the cps and I will find out on my bail date.

                All seems like a nightmare and can't believe I have proof she did allegations 3 times now to 3 different people although mines worse.

                I really hope the truth prevails and this woman gets put in prison for her lies. She damages her children as they are always losing out on their dads when she makes this stuff up and I think she is worried I am actually in touch with we ex husband as the house of cards will fall down

                Thanks again for replying and thanks for this board.

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                • #9
                  After my interview my interviewing officer discussed it straight away with the CPS, from which what I have read that means the officer thinks I did it as he didn't NFA it so does that mean he thinks i did it?

                  I really didn't and my life is so low at the moment and all she does is live happy ever after, smiled at me when she came to the court for a non moleststion order which she did ex parter against me I got an undertaking from her also she even had victim support with her!

                  How can she act like this and have the balls to act like it really happened when it didn't ? Don't some people have regret? How can they pretend won't it eat them up at night

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Ireallydidntdoit View Post
                    After my interview my interviewing officer discussed it straight away with the CPS, from which what I have read that means the officer thinks I did it as he didn't NFA it so does that mean he thinks i did it?
                    It's fairly routine to seek guidance from the CPS as to what action to take (bail or charge) if there isn't irrefutable evidence from the interview that the allegation either did or didn't happen; usually their response is to bail and investigate further (and obviously two complainants makes it a less than straightforward investigation!)
                    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Thanks for that

                      It's only one complainant with two sets of allegations my other ex who she contacted is just seeking one up in stopping contact with my son so both the DV which got refused charge then a week later the rape allegation all stem from the same person

                      But thanks for that I guess if they had something I wouldn't be on bail....

                      This is so hard to wake up daily and get through a day I just wish my bail date which is another 2 months away (on top of the previous 2 I have had already) would just come as this is torture

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