Falsely Accused and no clue what to do

[supportiveparents]

I appreciate your comment. I am indeed filled with anxiety but I'm hoping I'll be able to channel it into getting through this ordeal. I have considered counselling but I think for me it would be something I would need after this whole ordeal is over, not during it as my mind is just fixated on what I can do to help my situation and not so much about how I'm feeling or doing at the moment.

I considered changing Solicitor's as on the day of the arrest, by the end of my statement to the police, my Solicitor said that its highly likely the case won't go anywhere and it should all blow over in a couple of days....weeks later and this nightmare is still going...and that was said before I provided that key bit of Whatsapp evidence. So its just stressing me out that the longer they are taking that the more likely they believe that I am innocent or that my wife has fabricated some evidence against me. Do I have a right to request via my Solicitors as to how the case is coming along and as to what evidence they believe they have against me? Or is that only after I've been charged and due to go to court that I can request it?


I just hate not knowing what is going on...especially as this has to do with my life...I would like an opportunity to respond to any false evidence my wife could be presenting before it gets to the stage of me being charged, as that makes it far more likely for me to get on with my life that much sooner. Any idea if I can request such a thing via my Solicitors?

You can ask your solicitor anything! Especially what is happening with the case !

I don't think that you will be given access to what your accuser is saying! But I must stress I'm not an expert and am learning as I go also!

There will be people on here more qualified to answer these questions

Keep in touch

I'm two hours ahead as I'm abroad

Try and sleep as that's so important to your stress and anxiety

Will check in with you tomorrow

[terrifieddad]

It is par for the course for these things to drag on and on, unfortunately. You need to be prepared for the long haul. This is by far the hardest thing to deal with as you will feel like nothing is happening and no one is telling you anything. Basically there isn't much any solicitor can do until and unless you are charged except keep getting updates from the police.

Easier said than done, but the best thing you can do is put it out of your mind until closer to your bail date. Be prepared for re-bail after re-bail. My accuser is my wife and I spent over 5 months waiting for a decision. I was charged last month and face trial in December. It am only just seeing the evidence against me. You will not be able to see the evidence against you unless you are charged.

Occupy your time as best you can. The absolute worst thing you can do for your health is to dwell on things. Whenever you think of something that might help you if you have to defend yourself, write it down. But other than that, find something to do, preferably away from the house. If you don't, you will drive yourself mad. I have been there, done that and got the t-shirt.

You will feel that there isn't much of your life before the allegations left. I have found that my only link to my previous life has been my hobbies. If you have any hobbies, throw yourself into them. They will help see you through. If you don't have any hobbies, find one. Learn a musical instrument. Music can be one of the best therapies around. It has been my lifeline.

You will have good and bad days. The trick is to work out why the good days are good. I'm pretty sure that the bad days are the ones when you stay in with nothing to do except think. The good days will be the ones you have other things to occupy your time.

Rest assured, you can get through this. Being charged isn't the end of the world. The CPS seem to be sending all but the most obvious lies to court at the moment. I'm not actually convinced that they read the files they are sent! There is nothing you can do about this process. The best thing you can do is find something else to do.

[Rights Fighter]

Do you have any children? I ask as I don't see any mentioned. If you don't then why on earth are you paying the bills for the house you no longer live in?

I would ask the divorce solicitor if you can just cancel the direct debits / standing orders.

There is no legal aid for a solicitor in between police station interview and NFA or charge. Some solicitors will help but there is no obligation for them to do so.

You story sounds familiar - I'll ask a friend of mine to come in and comment on this and hopefully he can help you.

[terrifieddad]

As RF says, legal aid only covers the work a solicitor does at the police station before charge or NFA. I certainly wouldn't pay for a solicitor who will just charge you for telling you there's not much they can do! It is a horrible state of limbo but the only thing you can do is be sure of your version of events. If you are NFA'd, that's pretty much it as you will never see the evidence against you. If you are charged, you will have plenty of time to dissect the evidence before trial. Depending where you are in the country, a trial could be roughly 6 months after you are charged. In these cases, there is rarely more evidence beyond the complainant's video interview, which increasingly is the only evidence they give in court. You will probably then get a transcript of her interview, so go through it and find as many untruths and half truths as you can - especially if you can provide evidence of the falsehoods.

[Fearingtheworst]

@RightsFighter - I do not have any children with her. I have also sought some impartial legal advice and have been informed that if possible it is best to drop my legal aid and go with a legal practice that specialising in defending people falsely accused of sexual offences. I've been advised that my current legal aid team in truth won't be doing much to push the evidence I sent to them to send on to the police but pretty much will just sit around and wait until my bail return date in hopes of hearing something which is the last thing I could possibly want. I need a proactive team to get this false accusation to go away sooner rather than later as my sanity and freedom very well depend on it. So will be trying to see how best to go about it.

[Mrs Forgetful]

@RightsFighter - I do not have any children with her. I have also sought some impartial legal advice and have been informed that if possible it is best to drop my legal aid and go with a legal practice that specialising in defending people falsely accused of sexual offences. I've been advised that my current legal aid team in truth won't be doing much to push the evidence I sent to them to send on to the police but pretty much will just sit around and wait until my bail return date in hopes of hearing something which is the last thing I could possibly want. I need a proactive team to get this false accusation to go away sooner rather than later as my sanity and freedom very well depend on it. So will be trying to see how best to go about it.

who gave you this "impartial legal advice?" I am hoping it isn't the same person as others on here have spoken to and they thankfully realised that he was talking waffle before paying out loads of money. Put his name into the search engine on here to check it out.

I've seen advice on here that you don't hae to pay money to get an NFA and I believe it. It seems looking on here that most of the people here who were NFA'd had legal aid solicitor and duty solicitors.

[Rights Fighter]

I must have missed this otherwise I would have commented earlier.

Please be very VERY careful when somebody who stands to make a lot of money from you "advises" that you should use their services, or the services or solicitors they are very friendly with and work with.

If you look on these forums you will see that we've had many, many NFA's, the vast majority of which came about after the accused used the (free) duty solicitor.

There isn't a fat lot a solicitor can do in between the police interview and NFA or a charge (if there is one). There is little or no disclosure (paperwork) until if/when there is a charge.

You will find that there are a few sharks out there who will very cheerfully relieve you of your money, saying they can do all sorts, for instance they might tell you they can obtain the complainants computers - not true. They might tell you that they can obtain the complainants' medical records. Not true. They might tell you that they can obtain evidence of their previous convictions if there are any. Not true- unless they have been reported in the media, in which case you can find that out for yourself.

I fully appreciate how worried and how scary this is for you. Paying money won't make it any better. You might feel better if you believe some of the rubbish that some of these sharks tell you they can do, but believe me, you will feel far worse once you have paid over a large sum and then you hear nothing or next to nothing afterwards.

[terrifieddad]

Unfortunately unless you have solid proof that no crime took place or that your accuser is lying, there is no way to make a false accusation go away quickly. From what I have read of your particular case and recent cases, there really is nothing to do but wait. The police and CPS will take as long as they take and no solicitor can speed the process up. I'm sorry but this is usually a very long process - often over a year before you get a decision one way or another. And if you are charged - and they seem to charge more these days - expect another 6 months wait until the trial.

[Rights Fighter]

I really do love your signature Terrifieddad!!

[terrifieddad]

Thanks. Funny but alas true! Such a shame that the vast majority of our members get that advice too late

[Lilyput]

Unfortunately even then can't discuss on a public forum but in recent weeks one witness has proved FA is lying theyve still sent it back to CPS. I think if there was video evidence of the whole night they still try and look for an angle to charge.