Saying hello

[bagofnerves]

hello. just. joined. I've done absolutely nothing wrong. total state of shock really. hope to say more. thanks.

[YearsOfHell]

Sorry to have to welcome you, but welcome all the same.
Your head is likely all over the place so take it slow.
When you're ready, give us a brief outline of what's happened, but don't give too much detail.
We can give you our experiences but not any legal advise.
We will help wherever we can.
Be strong.
YoH

[Aidy]

Welcome : )

When you ready, maybe just put a few general paragraphs on what as led you to this forum?
Lots and lots of wonderful people on here, who can offer guidance, advice and suppport!

Best wishes x

[bagofnerves]

hello. thanks for your messages. I have recently been accused of rape. it is totally untrue. I found this forum so I thought I would say hello.

[Aidy]

hello. thanks for your messages. I have recently been accused of rape. it is totally untrue. I found this forum so I thought I would say hello.

Ok, so can we assume you have been questioned by the police?
You have certainly come to the right place for good advice!
Once again, when you feel comfortable, maybe just a few more details and it will be easier for people to guide you with their advice!

[bagofnerves]

Ok, so can we assume you have been questioned by the police?
You have certainly come to the right place for good advice!
Once again, when you feel comfortable, maybe just a few more details and it will be easier for people to guide you with their advice!

Hi Aidy, thanks. I am totally shellshocked. the police arrived at my house, said I am under arrest, took some photographs of rooms and had a look around and asked for an item which I gave them. I am really hoping that the police could see as they walked around that whatever I am accused of doing just could not be done. I'm hoping they felt something was not right about this accusation . they said I could keep my phone & laptop and that they would phone me to call me in to make or statement or interview etc. No phone call from them as yet. it would be really helpful to be able to message rrightd fighter or one of the website heads to explain things in confidence.

thanks aidy

[Casehardened]

it would be really helpful to be able to message rrightd fighter or one of the website heads to explain things in confidence.

Rights Fighter has her preferences set to only receive pm's from her contact; however as a new member you won't be able to send or receive pm's for 10 days.

As long as you keep details anonymous (no dates, names or places) there are some hugely experienced members on here who may be able to offer advice with and queries you might have.

For general advice have a look at this link: http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

[bagofnerves]

thanks for the link casehardened. If I am typing too much info please delete it. I am really hoping that the police could see something wasn't right about the accusation because as they were walking around they said something like I am no longer under arrest, they wont be taking me to the police station there & then, and that I should wait for a phone call from them.

[Rights Fighter]

You won't need to speak with me. Just say roughly (no explicit details please!) what is is you are accused of. You don't need to go through every second or minute of the incident.

Answers from others (as well as me) may well help other people if they can relate.

[bagofnerves]

hi. I have been accused of rape. everything was totally consensual and she was the instigator of everything. I've spoken to a couple of friends about it, and I know theyre not legal experts & prone to siding with me as friends do, but theyre of the opinion that, if anything, I'm the victim here, not the woman. and any sensible police force would swiftly see it as a pack of lies and I've nothing to worry about. when the police arrived at my house, they asked a question about something which they virtually instantly realised just could not be done. This gives me hope that the police know that the accusation just isn't true and they have been given bogus information.

[Casehardened]

[moved thread to this section as any advice given may be of help to other members in similar situations]

[KB19]

Hi and Welcome , just thought I would pop in and say sorry you needed to find us but this is the best place you could find for support its definately been that for OH and myself anyway.

Firstly as you may have read already at the moment you are probably in total shock and feeling numb about everything , it is good you have good friends you can talk to because talking about it will help with all that goes around in your head.

Best advice we have seen as soon as you can , grab a notebook and write down everything you remember about the FA and the horrible allegation that has been made. Not sure if this is best advice but I would also make notes about the FA how they are generally , did anything ever come up or get said that made you think umm not sure about you etc . Did they use social
Media check it out if they have .

NEVER give any info to the police unless you have checked out beforehand if it could make them
Use it against you, biggest of all do not ever trust the police cannot stress this enough, they may appear to be your best friend believe me they are only after one thing and that is anything that will give them more ammunition to destroy you.

You are a strong person you have already sought out this forum and spoken to good friends , it may well be quickly sorted and I do hope it is for you , please just bear in mind it could go on for a lot longer (9 months nearly for my OH ).

Take care of you

[bagofnerves]

thanks KB19, its a solid tip to get everything written down, which I am doing. it helps focus the mind too instead of having bits & pieces drifting around in my head whilst still in shock by this accusation.