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Final decision next Wednesday, after a year and a half of hell

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  • Final decision next Wednesday, after a year and a half of hell

    Hello,
    My name is Sophie and im posting regarding my partner being falsly accused in the act of revenge /punishing him. We had banned his mentally ill sister from meeting our baby (she's in a mental unit sectioned) my partner also started to have less contact with her. This was his decision to keep our child safe , so he never visited her. Before it was obvious that she wasn't all there , they had a close normal sibling relationship. His sister would often look up to him etc. When our child was born their mum started to get nasty about us banning her daughter from seeing ours ,at the time she was living with us. In the end we had to kick her out, social service also deemed his sister and mum a threat to my baby. His mum took almost a year to ask about collecting the last of her and his sisters stuff. By this time we had got rid of their stuff has it was just taking up all the storage and wasn't collected. This is basically the vendetta his sister has against him to make false accusations that he rapped her through her childhood. Their mum is also backing this up and has stringed along his sisters childhood friend to lie and sat he rapped her. The friend is trying to get back info the families good books after having a massive fall out with them and is best friends with the mum atm. Thankfully there is some massive faults , the sister and friends statements don't match and some of the places of the accusations don't even excist or cant access!
    He hasn't been held or charged at all through the year and a half ,he has just been let go after both his interviews. The DC has told him she has a meeting with the CPS on Wednesday to make the final decision to charge him or not.

    What are the chances of him being charged ? If he is what is the chance he will be bailed? If bailed can i still take my daughter to see him if its supervised? It will mentally distroy my daughter if her dad is taken away from her. At the moment she is my main worry , she asks me all day "where's daddy" "daddy back soon" when he's at work. If he walks out the door she has a massive melt down  i don't want his freak of a sister and co to hurt my daughter as well as my partner .
    thank you for reading.

  • #2
    So sorry to hear about the position you and your partner are in and how long this has been going on for you. I am in the first three weeks of my daughter having accused my partner of longstanding sexual abuse since she was pre 13 and cannot imagine how you must feel with how long this has been going on.

    Unfortunately I cannot answer any of your questions as not as far through the process as you are I just wanted you to know someone had read your post and was empathising with you and sending their thoughts.

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    • #3
      I echo above. I have also been accused of sexually abusing a family member up until she was 13 (about 20 years ago) and I am also in the 3rd week since the allegation. How on earth have you managed over the last year and a half? My wife, Mother and I have all been totally destroyed by it all. We are also in the middle of a family feud and can only but it down to an ugly, sick, bitter vendetta. Wish I could add some words of comfort, just know we are thinking of you.

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      • #4
        Nobody here can know whether there will be a charge or not. At the end of the day it is up to CPS to make that decision.

        Well done you for standing by him all this time.
        People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

        PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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        • #5
          Well done for surviving a year and a half, I wouldn't like to comment but it's a good sign they've been happy for your daughter to live with him this long. Other than that it's impossible to tell. Big hug try and enjoy some family time and you'll be in my prayers for Wednesday hun xx
          Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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          • #6
            You cannot predict any outcome I'm afraid. This revenge scenario is becoming all too common now.

            It's a truly horrible, soul- destroying situation for all of you.

            Let us know what happens either way. We're all here should you need further support/ advice
            They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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            • #7
              Thank you everyone for replying, to be honest i haven't survived the year and a half my family is broken im also 6 months pregnant and im praying to god that all this stress hasn't effected the little guy. As Wednesday is the only thing i can think about, my stress levels are hitting the roof on top of normal family stress. I do have a big support network at the moment, my partner not actually being arrested yet and living with me gives me a bit of hope. Even social services closed their case a year ago. It would be a little easier if i didn't have a little girl that thinks the world of her daddy.

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              • #8
                I'll be praying for you too. I know the feelings my six year old worships his Dad me and him clash a bit (not through a lack of love) but I'm a quiet person and he and my OH are really outgoing.
                Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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                • #9
                  I cannot imagine how you must be feeling being 6 months pregnant too. Easy for me to say I know but trying to spend just a few minutes a day as time out will help with you and baby, trying to eat and get some rest. For me the only time I'm not thinking is when I'm on a horse as I'm too busy thinking about not falling off - not that I would recommend that for you though stress isn't good for any of you you are right but unfortunately not something you can escape from at the moment. I have everything crossed for you that it is a positive outcome next Wednesday

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                  • #10
                    Hi, Qwerty1234, I really feel for you. Like you, I can only think of the day we have coming up the week after next when my man has to answer bail, again.

                    The pressure gets to be unbearable and I cannot imagine what it must be like while you are supposed to be enjoying a pregnancy as well. I know what you mean about feeling that your family is broken. We are dealing with accusations from family from decades ago and more accusations from a few years ago. Now just recently one daughter has started spreading more stories of abuse, but it's all in their heads, and the culmination of a feud that's been going on for years. Heaven knows what they think they're going to achieve. It's hard to understand.

                    I will be thinking of you and sending positive thoughts for the best possible outcome. You wil get through it. You've come this far, and we are with you, the other side of the Internet.
                    'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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                    • #11
                      Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you. Not sure if it was today or next Wednesday that you will get your news x

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                      • #12
                        Hello,
                        We got the news this morning by phoning the DC. apparently the CPS has made a decision yesterday in the meeting the DC had with them. But she cant tell my partner the outcome? Surly if he's charged they would want to come and get him? They're also investigating intimidation of witnesses, but we havnt seen or contacted them. Im so annoyed that we still do not have an outcome

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Qwerty1234 View Post
                          Hello,
                          We got the news this morning by phoning the DC. apparently the CPS has made a decision yesterday in the meeting the DC had with them. But she cant tell my partner the outcome? Surly if he's charged they would want to come and get him? They're also investigating intimidation of witnesses, but we havnt seen or contacted them. Im so annoyed that we still do not have an outcome
                          This is so unreasonable! Did she say how long before she tells you? And intimidation of witnesses? I hope this nightmare ends for you soon.
                          'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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                          • #14
                            Oh no! How can they say they have made a decision but then not tell you it?! That's ridiculous. Hang on in there. Hugs via the Internet x

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                            • #15
                              The "decision" made may have been that the police are required to investigate further?
                              In that sense no decision either way is made.
                              Possibly the CPS want more or clarification on certain points.
                              Hopefully they won't find anything else and that will be that, NFA.
                              Hang in there
                              It's hell waiting!!
                              YoH

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