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  • Sons trial in 5 weeks,

    My son was arrested in March 2015 . He was 16 years old. His girlfriend told him she was 15 she wasn't she was 12. He was arrested 5 days after the alleged crime as this was when her mum reported it even though apparently she was told on the day. He was bailed 3 times and was told by a few officers don't worry we dont think u will be charged etc. Built our hopes every time. Then on the 5th Nov he was charged. Our world fell apart .

    He collapsed and admitted he was suicidal. Our gp got us into cahms who was great at first but hes had 3 workers since then and at the minute they haven't clue. The psychiatrist will not give him any medication. He tried to kill himself in January, thankfully he didn't succeed. His trial is 5 weeks today and he seems to of hit rock bottom again. Social worker came out see him before he told her he's suicidal again . So going to try and get him in with gp tomoz. Just praying he gives him some medication he has all signs of clinical depression. He hasn't had a shower for 9 days he hardly eats , sleeps all time won't speak to me. S worker said its cos he doesny want to upset me.

    The judge has allowed him to have an intermediary cos of his mentsl health and he has a lady supporting him from the criminal liaison justice team. I pray we will get not guilty as there are many inconsistencies in her videos /statements etc . Always had Faith in our justice system till its you then u doubt it. I haven't even been able go in court hearings as I am a witness. Sorry for the long post its jus that this site has really helped me reading posts etc . X
    Last edited by janjoe10; 26 April 2016, 10:32 PM.

  • #2
    And to add he said he didn't do any of the 3 counts and I believe him . He's many things but my son is not a rapist x

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    • #3
      Hi, I've just read your post. It sounds an absolutely terrible situation and I really feel for you and your son. Everyone is affected differently by a false accusation but it sounds like he has taken it very badly. By all means, if you are concerned about your son then it's important he is seen by his doctor but they may not prescribe him antidepressants if he is suicidal - certain antidepressants are not suitable for people with suicidal thoughts due to risk of overdosing. Also his emotional state is caused by reactive stress which means drugs alone may not make a massive difference at the current time. What he does need is a lot of support and I don't understand why he has had three different workers at CAMHS? He needs stability right now and this should be emphasised to CAMHS. It's important that a safety plan is put in place with your son to help him understand and manage his suicidal thoughts such as identifying who/where he can seek support from when times are hard and identifying positive techniques to cope with his distress.

      I presume you have got an appropriate solicitor to help present your case in court? Its important to get someone who is a specialist in this area. Does your son have any proof that the girl lied about her age such as text messages or friends to support him as this may help his case? How does he know the girl?
      Last edited by slowdown73; 26 April 2016, 11:58 PM.

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      • #4
        Thanks for replying. Yes the barrister seems to know her stuff. Yea I think there is proof she lied .,she says herself in her statement she didn't tell him her real age. She was his girlfriend. As soon as he knew her real age he ended it. 5 days later the allegations were made. The psychiatrist he has saw said it's because of what's happening is The reason he feels like this however before this happened he was depressed cos his friend had killed himself and he hasn't grieved proper and feels guilty he couldn't stop him. The workers he has had have all left. They did safety plans etc at first . His first worker was brill. Iv told him If he feels like he can't keep himself safe to text me and we will take him to a and e. He really wants his say in court and wants to prove his innocence xx

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        • #5
          I'm glad you have a well informed barrister, that's very important and will hopefully make a positive difference. It sounds like your son has been through a tremendous amount and losing his friend in the way it happened is especially hard for anyone to deal with let alone a young person of his age- In addition his current situation will also evoke further feelings of grief and loss given its a relationship that ended - albeit due to difficult circumstances. Your son will need on-going support to help him get through all of this. CAMHS are usually pretty good. I did a work experience placement there but if you aren't happy with their service then maybe try looking for a voluntary organisation which provides counselling/support. I don't know what area you come from but in my town we have young people's advice service. How old was your son when the relationship started and how did he meet the girl? It sounds incredibly unfair this has even got taken to court. Keep me informed with how you get on.
          Last edited by slowdown73; 27 April 2016, 10:00 AM.

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          • #6
            He believed she was 15 but that is still under age sex isn't it, I think. Does she say she consented or are the police saying this is SIU - sexual intercourse underage?

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            • #7
              He is 18 now so should go to adult mental health services but they have agreed to keep him at cahms till the trial is over. He didn't have sex with her. I don't know why they have made these allegations up. He was only going out with her for a few weeks. She wouldn't meet us and never shown her face on pics her face was scribbled out. Iv since as pics of her and she looks about 18. My son isn't 18 in the head though he's prob about 15. He met her at the skate park where he went riding his bmx x

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Mrs Forgetful View Post
                He believed she was 15 but that is still under age sex isn't it, I think. Does she say she consented or are the police saying this is SIU - sexual intercourse underage?
                The age of consent is 16 but it's a bit of a grey area when youngsters are having relationships. When I worked in social care, usually workers would usually turn a blind eye to 16 year olds having a relationship with a 15 year old but if it was a 16 year old and 12 year old there would be a duty to intervene. However, in this case, the girl has lied about her age, made a false allegation about sexual activity and looks older too so hopefully that will all go in his favour.

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                • #9
                  Did she allege he had sex with her?

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                  • #10
                    She does although her mum never liked my son and think they have made stuff up cos of this. They was going out for a few weeks. He walked her home holding hands with her in the day of the alleged event my partner saw them. She came to our door on the tues after the alledged inciden they was talking they didn't look like there was any malice between them .

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                    • #11
                      So she has alleged that they had sex.

                      Right.

                      Does she allege that she consented (making it Underage Sexual Intercourse) or did she allege that he raped her (sex without consent) as was asked further up this thread?
                      Last edited by Rights Fighter; 28 April 2016, 11:50 AM.
                      People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                      PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                      • #12
                        She's saying he raped her.

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                        • #13
                          So that is the charge. I think this is what Mrs Forgetful was asking about.

                          The judge has allowed him to have an intermediary cos of his mentsl health and he has a lady supporting him from the criminal liaison justice team. I pray we will get not guilty as there are many inconsistencies in her videos /statements etc .
                          This is excellent. I have attempted to explain about assisteance from mental health experts / appropriate adults on another thread but your words explain this brilliantly. ' Intermediary' was the term I was also looking for on that thread, so thanks for posting this up.

                          Please do keep us all updated. Does the accuser's Facebook / Instagram assist at all? It is a brilliant way of getting evidence as some false accusers don't think before they post - more interested in bragging about the "sh*t loads of money I'm getting soon" sort of thing.....
                          People Appealing Convictions of Sexual Offences ~http://www.pacso.co.uk

                          PAFAA details ~ https://pacso.co.uk/pafaa-people-aga...ions-of-abuse/

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                          • #14
                            Yes that is the charge, she liked his instagram pictures 9 days after the alledged event. The solicitor has this information but said they will only use it if they have to. Could they have got compensation before a trial as I have read they can for rape but not sure if true. If so I believe that is why her family have done this . She still says on her fb she is 19 and pics of her looking 19 etc. It really angers us .

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by janjoe10 View Post
                              She still says on her fb she is 19 and pics of her looking 19 etc.
                              Not sure if you are already screenshotting her relevant FB quotes but this could well be useful evidence to back up that she had misrepresented her age to him.
                              'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

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