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  • Nfa!

    So 2 weeks ago we got a phone call from the investigating officer and our solicitor that CPS had decided NFA. Which we are over the moon about, even though it hasn't really properly set in that it's over we're now dealing with an onslaught of relatives pushing us to put this 'behind us'/ forgive and forget. Which is driving me crazy to say the least!

    We were told we'd receive a report from cps explaining their decision but we haven't received anything, I keep thinking that it was all a dream and that it never really happened. Does anyone know how we can chase this report? Did those of you with a NFA at the cps stage get it in writing?

    I didn't really post much before because I found talking about it really hard but reading your stories and seeing that we weren't the only people to go through this has helped us in more ways than I could say. It's definitely ignited a fire in me questioning how the police poorly handle those FS. We had some, in my opinion, very out of order comments from the officer when she rung to tell us cps had thrown it. About how obviously the accuser was upset (because we'd care?!) and that he should really get in contact with his mother

    I'm very thankful for the support we've had these last 6 months and I know how lucky we are for it to have only gone this far but I'm still very angry about what we've had to go through and the accuser has suffered no consequences.

  • #2
    First of all SO happy for you
    Secondly I don't think the anger magically goes away with an NFA, we haven't had an answer yet but I don't believe for a second all this fear and pain will subside quickly or easily, if we get a positive answer. I do hope eventually you do manage to move on FA doesn't deserve another second of your life
    Who you become while you are waiting is as important as what you are waiting for -Nicky Gumble

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    • #3
      It's a long slow road to recovery unfortunately!
      My OH received NFA a few months ago but things will never be the same again.
      In an emotional sense it's like surviving a car crash.
      You'll need time to recover and you mustn't force yourself or be pressured by others to speed that process up.
      I'm sure you'll remember the feelings at the beginning of this, shock, fear, numbness, pain.
      Those emotions will still be there but slowly and gradually you will move on.
      Do it in your own time.
      Try not to hold on to the anger, although that does sometimes seem to be the dominant feeling!!
      It's not a good thing to hold. Try and let go. But take your time.
      Look at the positives!! They're there all around!
      The emotional roller coaster hasn't stopped but it's slowly down so keep smiling and remember they are not worth it!!
      Oh and have some of these!

      They always made me feel better!!!
      Big hugs
      YoH

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      • #4
        Well done on the right result

        Glad to hear your ordeal is over &

        I echoe the sound advice from YOH

        My son had the added ordeal of a court case with various previous bail relaxation hearings, concluding with a unanimous NG in December 15. It cost us a fortune with legal fees, lost earnings etc. but the sheer toll on the health of our close family (husband in particular) and the gut wrenching fear and anxiety of that dreadful year (from charge to hearing) is a nightmare that I doubt ill ever forget.
        But ; all we can do is not let the lies of these FA's destroy another day of our lives. Leave it to karma to sort them out ! Let's Spend the rest of our time focussing on our loved ones & hope time dims the pain ..... And obviously if I can I will try and keep posting to encourage others who are still on the journey

        Good luck with your recovery
        Innocentson

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        • #5
          So happy for you atwitsend . The truth will always out in the end. I am praying and hoping my sister and her family will have the same good news sooner rather than later. I posted on her a few months ago about my nephews twisted ex accusing my sister and her husband of the most disgusting things against their granddaughter. After months of heartache and worry, the police phoned to tell them the cps will be taking it no further. Our whole family were ecstatic, but it was shortlived, two weeks later their granddaughter who is nearly six now supposedly made even more disgusting allegations against my sister, her husband and even her own daddy thjs time, so they are now experiencing the same heartache all over again.
          Why o why cant the police and social services see my nephews evil ex and her mother are putting things into my nieces head. These disgusting things were supposed to have happened when she was three??? I worked in primary schools for years, no child of five would know how to draw the pictures she draws or come out with the sexual comments she is telling the sw. I have written to ss voicing my concerns for my nieces welfare, i have phoned and cs have said they will pass on my concerns to the sw and her manager. I have never had any response. The children are still with their mother. So I dont know if they received my lefters or not. I understand data protection as I am only their great aunt, but an email from them to acknowledge they received it would be nice. Another serious concern I have the sister of the mothers boyfriend works in the same ss office, have my letters been diverted and not reached line manager/supervisor?
          When false allegations are made, why is the accuser automatically believed. They have had to take out a loan as It is costing thousands that they havnt got as the solicitor for access to the children is different to the solicitor defending them for fa.
          Thank you for this site, and thank you to everyone for helping and supporting each other

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          • #6
            Fantastic news a twisted. I echo the advice from others. Try not to give the FA another thought and concentrate on yourself and getting your life back on track. Here are some bananas for you -

            'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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            • #7
              Shaz27 - what an ordeal. I'm so sorry to hear that your family is going through it all again. Hopefully, if it was seen that there was no substance to the previous allegations, that will throw doubt on these new ones. I hope so for you.
              'Mongolian Warriors had the courage of lions, the patience of hounds, the prudence of cranes, the long-sightedness of ravens, the wildness of wolves, the passion of fightingcocks, the keenness of cats, the fury of wild boars and the cunning of foxes.' BE A MONGOLIAN WARRIOR WHEN DEFENDING YOUR INNOCENCE!

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              • #8
                Thank you again franticwithworry. You reassured me on my last post a few months ago. I apreciate it and will keep you updated, hopefully when they get good news

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