The waiting game!!!!

[Aidy]

I think the reality of this situation as finally hit me today!
Don't get me wrong, I am actually in good spirits (albeit a few wobbles along the way!)
But I emailed my solicitor earlier just to gauge a few things about the case eg is the bail date likely to change, is there anyway of removing the unsupervised access with my kids and just her general feeling about the whole case and if she thinks the CPS will charge?

Of course it's highly likely that Feb will change for the bail date, this I'm pretty sure of!!!

I can pay to put the bail conditions to a court (although according to my solicitor, the only conditions she was told about was told my only bail conditions were not to contact the accuser) (so that seems a little strange) but I think I would be willing to try it anyway!

She has no idea how this will go?
Some of the strange things that she has seen have proved this, so we will just have to wait and see!

The good thing she said is that the accuser keeps changing her story, so this is good for me!

Just wanted to get that out there!

[TBG1]

I share your worry Aidy. It is 6 months today that I received a phone call from the Police and my life changed.

I am still none-the-wiser today. No arrest & no bail for me, so (as I've found out) no timetable whatsoever for the Police to adhere to....Not that they take much notice of bail dates if they want "more time", but at least when on bail they acknowledge yor existence every now & again. Then again, I suppose I should "be careful what I wish for"

For me, the waiting doesn't get easier.....you just become more used to it. For what it's worth, I'm much better informed now than I was 6 months ago and greatful for (and to) the members of this & the PAFAA forums.

I've always liked proverbs, sayings, thoughtful quotes etc., so here's one I like at the moment that feels relevant:

"It's better to walk with a friend in the dark than to walk alone in the light".


All The Best To You

TBG1

[Aidy]

I share your worry Aidy. It is 6 months today that I received a phone call from the Police and my life changed.

I am still none-the-wiser today. No arrest & no bail for me, so (as I've found out) no timetable whatsoever for the Police to adhere to....Not that they take much notice of bail dates if they want "more time", but at least when on bail they acknowledge yor existence every now & again. Then again, I suppose I should "be careful what I wish for"

For me, the waiting doesn't get easier.....you just become more used to it. For what it's worth, I'm much better informed now than I was 6 months ago and greatful for (and to) the members of this & the PAFAA forums.

I've always liked proverbs, sayings, thoughtful quotes etc., so here's one I like at the moment that feels relevant:

"It's better to walk with a friend in the dark than to walk alone in the light".


All The Best To You

TBG1

Many thanks for the kind words TBG1!

I can't say I recall reading your story, but it does seem a little odd to have no arrest and no bail??
But I suppose it's no easier is it!!?

I must say as proverbs go, that is a belter!
Thanks so much

[TBG1]

Well, it appears that it's "par-for-the course" with historical cases (no arrest, just an "invitation" to an interview).


If you're interested, You can see my original thread by clicking on my username & then 'See Forum Posts'....It's my earliest post.


One more for you (every False Accuser please take note!):


"For every good reason there is to lie, there's a better reason to tell the truth".


Best Wishes To You

TBG1

[Aidy]

Well, it appears that it's "par-for-the course" with historical cases (no arrest, just an "invitation" to an interview).


If you're interested, You can see my original thread by clicking on my username & then 'See Forum Posts'....It's my earliest post.


One more for you (every False Accuser please take note!):


"For every good reason there is to lie, there's a better reason to tell the truth".


Best Wishes To You

TBG1

I have just read through most of your initial thread when you first joined..
I can see some very similar stuff to my situation!!

I often sit and think the same, I am innocent but why am I in such a predicament...and why is my world around me crumbling?

The toughest part for me is knowing similar situations with little or no evidence as gone to trial!

Anyway, many thanks for the kind words....although your last proverb was not as good as the first one

[TBG1]

I have just read through most of your initial thread when you first joined..
I can see some very similar stuff to my situation!!

I often sit and think the same, I am innocent but why am I in such a predicament...and why is my world around me crumbling?

The toughest part for me is knowing similar situations with little or no evidence as gone to trial!

Anyway, many thanks for the kind words....although your last proverb was not as good as the first one

LOL .... How about this one then (the flood-gates are open!) :

"A true soldier fights not because he hates who's in front of him. He fights because he loves who's behind him."

[Aidy]

LOL .... How about this one then (the flood-gates are open!) :

"A true soldier fights not because he hates who's in front of him. He fights because he loves who's behind him."

Now that one I love!!!!!

My family behind me, I would fight Mike Tyson!

Big hugs

[jittery]

hi both

Now that one I love!!!!!

My family behind me, I would fight Mike Tyson!

Big hugs

I don't post as much as I used to- partly because I generally work long hours and partly because I feel I'm losing empathy, but it's great to see you and so many people offering support to each other.
Stay strong both

[BagOfGas]

"A true soldier fights not because he hates who's in front of him. He fights because he loves who's behind him."[/QUOTE]

Cracking quote that tbg1

Aidy, i feel your pain on the waiting game, the way the whole thing drags on is just absolute torture. I find the fear of the unknown the worst bit for me. Never seems to be any urgency from the police or cps, its like they dont realise the effect it has on people that are falsely accused. Hope you find out whats happening soon and keep your head up

All the best

[Staystrong1]

Great to see positivity

Nice to see a positive thread. Great quotes. In Historic cases quite usual to be invited for a chat and not arrested and no bail other than not to contact person making false allegation. Same in OH case and I know how painful the waiting is. Worst time in our lives. You can get through it though. As you will no lots of people get NFA. OH did get charged after approx 8 months but as posted previously although it dragged on for nearly 2 years if the worst did happen and a charge ever comes thats when you get stuck in, we had family behind us all the way, the same as lots of people on the forums and it certainly helps as well as a good defence team and barrister. OH got a unanimous not guilty at trial so never give up hope. Keep going x

[Staystrong1]

Hi not posted for a while, I seem to feel worse the more I visit so I limit me visits to every other day.

I too was interviewed 5 months ago, no arrest, no charge, no contact since. I even emailed the solicitor for an update or advise 2 weeks ago but no contact, it just goes to prove you need a good solicitor rather than just use the local solicitor as I did.

The worst part for me is knowing that my FA has lied and yet I'm in this awful situation, I think because the allegation are lies it makes it even worse because I keep going through all the allegations the police made at interview trying to make sense of it. What seems to be common sense to me when I think about all the inconsistencies in the FA story doesn't seem to matter.

I guess I'm still quite early in the process, I was hoping it would be over before Christmass but I sought that now, but it's encouraging that my situation is not uncommon.

Hi

No it is not uncommon the waiting. Try and keep busy and take one day at a time. Hard as it may be do something to take your mind off it . OH and me especially kept going through it all but unless you are actually charged theres no point as it will drive you mad. Keep a notebook with any inconsistencies you know about and once there on paper try and put it out of your head. You cant possibly make sense of a false allegation. Hopefully you will get NFA. It would be if you were ever charged and receive papers to your solicitor from CPS that you will need to work on any inconsistencies and defence.
I know its hard but you will get through it. X

[Lilyput]

We also have no arrest, no charge police said it would they would recommend it go NFA but it had to go to CPS apparently. Been a month since interview and OIC says it will be at least a few more weeks, but highly doubt it will be. Guess we are all in the same boat, it is torture. I don't have much advice other than it's been over a week since we found it went to the CPS and the shock does wear off, i also went on setraline for anxiety which has already helped hugely. DP holds on to the fact hes innocent and distracts himself, i hope you find whatever works for you. Xx

[Aidy]

Hi not posted for a while, I seem to feel worse the more I visit so I limit me visits to every other day.

I too was interviewed 5 months ago, no arrest, no charge, no contact since. I even emailed the solicitor for an update or advise 2 weeks ago but no contact, it just goes to prove you need a good solicitor rather than just use the local solicitor as I did.

The worst part for me is knowing that my FA has lied and yet I'm in this awful situation, I think because the allegation are lies it makes it even worse because I keep going through all the allegations the police made at interview trying to make sense of it. What seems to be common sense to me when I think about all the inconsistencies in the FA story doesn't seem to matter.

I guess I'm still quite early in the process, I was hoping it would be over before Christmass but I sought that now, but it's encouraging that my situation is not uncommon.

Many thanks for the reply Bartat!

I think as good as this site is (and it's been a god send!) I also seem to obsess on here at the moment, hoping in some vain attempt that someone can tell me what to do, and this will all go away etc
So yes I think I may end up going down this route eventually ie every few days!

Your comments strike a cord so much with me, it's almost like I have written your words!!

The fact that you are innocent, and some of the accusations are almost laughable...yet it seems to go unnoticed by the police etc

My wife is really struggling at the moment, and I'm trying to get her fighting again!
She just can't handle the fact that this could go on for months and months!

Anyway best of luck, and remember 'Never Give In'

[Aidy]

Hi thanks for your kind words and it goes without saying I hope you all get a NFA soon, I was just wondering as we all facing historical allegations how long ago are your FA from? In my case it's 38 + yrs, I ask because a lot has been said about making notes of what happened and writing things down as a defence.

The problem I have is that I just can not remember day to day life from all that time ago, I know I am innocent of the allegations that something you would not forget. But at the time I didn't think I would need to remember anything looking forward 40 yrs, also the people I mixed with then have moved on and over time you just make new friends.

I have found it almost impossible to remember anything with accuracy, which means your FA can say anything and it's almost impossible to prove different, what prove is there apart from my word? Which brings me to my next point what can the police investigate from back then, so why should it take so long.

I just wondered if anyone else was looking so far back and if anyone had an outcome?

My situation is the original allegations were made in around 2002!

It's a very good question you make about what proof there is?
I mean it really in most cases comes down to 2 people's words!!!
No actual hard evidence etc
I personally can't believe a case could go to trial in such a situation!

I think in your case, that certainly is a fair old amount of time....

Just do your best and write things down, even if they seem trivial!

Good luck with your case and stay strong

[Staystrong1]

Historic allegation

My situation is the original allegations were made in around 2002!

It's a very good question you make about what proof there is?
I mean it really in most cases comes down to 2 people's words!!!
No actual hard evidence etc
I personally can't believe a case could go to trial in such a situation!

I think in your case, that certainly is a fair old amount of time....

Just do your best and write things down, even if they seem trivial!

Good luck with your case and stay strong

OH false accusation in the nineties. So 20 plus years later I quite agree it was hard to remember and you are quite right it is one persons word against anothers. However OH is the other side of the allegation now. With a unanimous not guilty. When someone makes afalse allegation and even colludes with another person and its lies they dont remember their lies when it comes to trial. Its imperative if you dont get NFA and do get charged to remember everything possible. The devil in the barristers words is in the detail. The police often dont investigate other than take the word of the liar and her possible witnesses so its up to you and your defence team to do everything you can to disprove any lies. This will include a timeline around allegation, bank statements are really useful and can often disprove whereabouts etc. its amazing what you can uncover. Please keep strong. You can get through this.x