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I feel so alone

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  • I feel so alone

    I feel so alone like noone understands my partner has been accused by his ex and has been convicted. Our friends and family say its ok i understand exactly what your going through and I want to scream at them no you dont it wasnt the love of your life that got took away your family hasnt been ripped to shreads because of a bitter ex you arent in constant pain and fear it wasnt you who helped him through every day of this for the past year it wasnt you who dragged him out of bed and made him try to fight his depression which is a hard thing to do especially when i have really bad depression too it wasnt you who was lashed out at and shouted at it was me iv helped him iv took all the brunt of everything which i dont mind id do it all again but how on earth can they all say they umderstand they havent got a clue they carry on with their day to day lives telling me about an arguement they had with their partner and expecting me to help them through it i feel so bad cos i hate them when they come to me with petty arguements asking me to help them through it i feel like screaming at them be ****ing grareful you have them.instead if arguing over money or stuff that doesnt matter in the grand scheme of your life i feel like there is a massive hole in my chest and my life where he used to be im constantly up and down some days im ok and some days in really bad the professionals think i have bipolar and i do too my moods are erratic and i feel like im losing my mind im used to being the strong one helping everyone through everything and i cant even support my partner how i want to im not allowed to write or visit cos social says they will take my kids off me if i do and hes taking this so badly it was me who was getting him through this my letters and visits and they have now been taken away he doesnt think he can dight this anymore and his appeal isnt even started yet i dont know how to fix this and make it better for him im used to being able to make everything better and helping him cope. I feel so useless and worthless that i cant help him throught this i had a phone call from him telling me hes having thoughts if killing himself i ohoned the prison they say they'll help him but hes been put on tablets ages ago and tild them they arent helping and they havent done a thing more to help him i feel like im drowning.

  • #2
    I feel your pain, I truly do. These situations are enough to leave even the strongest of us rocking in a corner.

    It's like overwhelming grief, except nobody died.

    I have a hole in m soul where my life use to be, but I have to carve out another one in order to survive.
    Sometimes , waking up feels like a disappointment as you know you will face the same heartache and pain day in, day out , every living, breathing minute.

    But we carry on, somehow, otherwise all we believe in is lost and the b******s have well and truly won.
    We can't let them
    They tried to bury us- they didn't know we were seeds

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